Sexual Health
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I got fired for masturbating in a lactation room. Can they really press charges for sexual assault?

At my job believe it or not they have lactation rooms because so many of the women there get knocked up all the time. I always thought it was unfair that there's a special room for women to play with their t*ts in private but not one for men. During lunch last week some of the guys and I were discussing this and we started talking about how funny it would be to go in there and masturbate. We challenged each other to do this and I have never been able to resist a challenge so of course I manned up and said CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Everyone agreed to throw in $500 if I did it and left the "evidence" in the room as proof. Between 7 guys it was a nice $3500 bonus for me and they actually paid up. Too bad I lost my job though :( The next day I snuck into the room and started doing it. Being careless as I am I forgot to lock the door...so in the middle of my jack session a female co-worker opened the door and walked in on me teasing the python. She screamed. Really loud. I got startled and turned on by her bulging breasts and I came. Pretty hard. Not only that but it actually got on her blouse a little. She screamed some more and ran out of the room. Next thing I know everyone is rushing over to the room and I'm sitting there trying to cover a raging boner with my tie. Of course I got fired pretty much on the spot and now the female co-worker might press charges for sexual assault. I got a good lawyer but he says it will be hard to fight the case. Can she really press charges for sexual assault since it was an "accident"? I mean its her fault for walking in and not knocking after all.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I got fired for masturbating in a lactation room. Can they really press charges for sexual assault?

    Yes as it's a designated area you are not allowed in and you used it for sexual activity while on the clock.

    Can she really press charges for sexual assault since it was an "accident"?

    It wasn't an accident as you chose to go to an area you knew you weren't allowed to and you chose to masturbate there. Her walking in and not knocking doesn't make it her fault though it does show quite a bit on how victim-blaming for gals is still ingrained in society.

    "I always thought it was unfair that there's a special room for women to play with their t*ts in private but not one for men."

    Guys can play with their t*ts in private in the restroom the lactation room is an area for breastpumping not playing with t*ts so it's not unfair that guys don't have a lactation room as guys generally do not lactate.

    • R/woosh issa joke lmao. Obvious troll post

  • "unfair that there's a special room for women to play with their t*ts in private but not one for men." What the hell? Ah, right, because lactation rooms are for women to play with their breasts for enjoyment; because women actually look forward to being bitten or pumped. They only exist because many people freak out if a woman is breastfeeding.

    I'm glad you got fired. I have no sympathy for you. You don't masturbate in public, especially where children are cared for and fed (think about that... it is disgusting that you'd do it there). And had your "accident" happened to me, you would not be acting so lighthearted (and prideful? do I detect some pride in how you wrote this?) about it all.

    • this is obviously made up.

    • It wasn't in public obviously.

  • that is pretty f***ing hilarious dude!

    the fact that you got paid such a handsome amount of cash should of been your biggest indicator that masturbating in public or on private property (that actually might have it's own liability clause) may cross the line.

    with her pressing charges? I would write a formal apology...

    and maybe go to a women support group for those who suffer from lactation.

    • Ohh I know how bad it is but I didn't think I would get caught, hardly anyone ever uses that room lol what are the chances...

Most Helpful Guys

  • "I mean its her fault for walking in and not knocking after all" ? WOW

    I hope that's your excuse you tell the Judge... and I hope you get a female Judge

    do you understand that you may have to register as a sex offender for at least 10 years?

    I think you need to take this a bit more seriously...

    unless you're trolling, then your lucky

    how gay to have a bunch of guys talking about masturbating , DISTURBING !

  • Dude! "Lactation!" It means for women who are lactating... which means it's a room for breast pumping or nursing babies! Whether the women there use it for fooling around, it's a place we'd normally avoid. >.<;;;

    • Thats the whole point of going in there to masturbate...it was the most fun I've had in a while so if she doesn't press charges it will probably be worth it haha

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 8

  • LMFAOOOOOO I AM SITTING HERE CRACKING UP.

    YOU MADE MY NIGHT. THANK YOU!

    • Glad you find my life amusing...

  • That's really unfair. You should have gotten a promotion instead.

    Did you try to keep calm and link walk the dinosaur?

  • There is no skin contact, she just walked on you for daring the guys, that you have the balls to do it *literally speaking*

  • You need to get her the D. That will relax her tightness.

  • Do you think a lactation room is there for woman to play with themselves? You have some growing up to do.

  • You're obviously trolling because a guy with any sense wouldn't have done what you did

  • Ummm... Obviously this story is bogus. Come on people.

  • ah that sucks, people were looking at me weird for peeing in a water fountain. I mean it was calling for me to do it :/

  • Wow man I feel for you. Last year I got fired for drinking on the job. Yes you guessed it. I work at a sperm bank.

    • LOL

    • :) that looked like a tame ass dinosaur!

    • link

      ^the reference !

    • Show All

  • Good news is you can use that money today your bail bond and lawyer.

    • To pay your bail bond not today

    • I don't have a bail bond because she hasn't pressed charges yet...

    • Well when she does at least you have the money

    • Show All

  • HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA oh my god thank you for this entertainment! She should really get over it but yes she sure can

    • I don't think she's actually gonna press charges. We were actually on pretty good terms before this happened and who knows maybe she secretly liked it a little. I know I did lol

    • you hope. lol before you got your jizz all over her you mean? Yah the minute that happened I'm pretty sure that all went to hell lol I feellike I'm disgracing women thinking this is fricken hilrious. oh well

    • I wonder if she will ever wear that blouse again.

    • Show All

  • Sounds like you got exactly what you deserve.

    • Heartless bitch

    • Yeah heartless!

    • Wait was a public or private room?

    • Show All

  • Yes they can and you can, probably will get probation and jail time. It is going to be really hard for you to get another job after this goes on your record.

  • Yes they can.

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