Sexual Health
+1 y

I think me and my friend got raped at a party with strangers? Too intoxicated to remember?

Last Saturday I was at the bus stop with my best friend at one am , we were coming back from a party and we were walking downtown . still at the bus stop , my friend saw a man which was attractive (for her) and she started to talk to him. I told her to stop talking to him, we were a little bit high and the man was kind of scary.. This man invited us to drink and smoke in a hotel with him and his friends , without thinking about it , we accepted his invitation. We went smoking weed in an isolated area behind the bus stop and then we went back to the bus stop.My friend was sitting and me and the guy were standing the guy started kissing and licking my neck, touching my butt and my stomach and he even fingered me through my leggings. He tried to get his hand inside my leggings but I grabbed his hand and told him to stop, but he didn't want to stop and told me to be quiet so my friend, who had her back turned , won't hear us.At that moment she turned around and he stopped touching me... I wasn't afraid and I kinda liked it, because I was high, but I'm a virgin and I don't want to lose my virginity with a 27 year old stranger (Im only 16) . He grabbed my butt again and he tried to put my hand inside of his pants. I didn't want to do that.. then he unzipped his pants and I felt something moving left to right on my butt.. I couldn't see what was happening because he was behind me. After 45 min the bus finally came, we went to an hotel party with the guy's friends, I drank vodka for the first time, we smoked weed again and we did Molly...i never did that before, I only smoke weed. After an hour everything was so weird and I can't remember what happened me and my bestfriend woke up the morning after in bed at like 10 am and she doesn't remember what happened neither... the guy who touched me left ,there was only one girl on the sofa and she was sleeping everyone was gone. It was fun and the people were nice but I think a lot of things happened but I have no memory of it, Could we have been raped? If yes what should I do? Also I noticed that I started my period the day after it happened (December 8) my period normally starts every 14th of the month..i heard that when you get penetrate you bleed the day after! I don't even know the guys name and I don't have his number, I Haven't seen him since that day. And by the way it was our first time going out that late, we told our parents we were sleeping over at a friends house... I don't ever hangout with guys/strangers normally. And I don't think I can go see a doctor without my parents.. Even if I wasn't raped.. can I still charge the guy because he touched me in private places when I was on drugs and he's like 10 years older than me ? I think its illegal ?
Updates:
+1 y
Why do guys do that ? Why was he so confident touching me without asking
+1 y
And I cannot call the police cause theyre gonna say its my fault because I followed a guy that fingered me at the bus stop and I kept on smoking
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • You should have never left with a stranger...the fact that he was fingering you on the street after he just walked up to you should have set off alarms on your head. Of course why wouldn't he take you back..you showed every indication you were willing to do something. Did you tell him you are 16?

    You're lucky you weren't kidnapped or killed. Clearly you should lay off the drugs and drinking because you make very dangerous decisions and are too young. You are damaging your still growing brain. Your pre-frontal cortex is not developed and won't be until your early 20s. That's the decision making part of the brain...that's why it's still good to seek advice from adults, whether its your parents or not. Lecture over...

    You need to get tested. You should have a county health department that could test you, but not sure how that works if you're a minor. You need to tell your parents. If you are afraid have an adult you trust help you talk to them. You could have been raped, pregnant, or have an STD. I think counseling is needed for you as well.

    Additionally...don't be surprised if you wind up with pics/ video of you on the Internet like the others have said. There was nothing stopping that from happening. Use this experience to look at the direction you're going...it will only get worse if you don't.

  • You already have asked this question and lots of people have already answered it (including me) so quit looking for attention because that is exactly what you are doing. You're only 16 and you're getting high and then LETTING older men touch you and go back to the hotel with them... you need to get your stuff together before something real BAD happens. If you really didn't want any of this, why in hell would you agree to go to a hotel party with them? You could've pushed that guy off you (and by pushing him off I mean really trying rather than just saying you didn't want it but let him do it anyways) and you should've got your friends attention. Besides you said you kind of liked it so you're really just contradicting yourself here and making yourself look like an idiot in all honesty. I'm sure your parents would be so proud knowing their 16 year old daughter is smoking, letting 26 year old men touch her inappropriately, and then fully agreeing to going to a hotel party with them. Please get your stuff together. Lol.

  • It's very possible.
    You cannot press charges unless you are certain.
    You could be locking a man up based on false accusations.
    Next time you need to take better pre-cautions.
    You are no longer a "little girl" anymore , you are becoming a "young lady".
    So you need to take responsibility, be smart, and not put yourself in those types of situations.
    If you feel uncomfortable with someone, then it's best to not be around them.
    Drinking further and taking drugs will only inhibit your judgment .

Most Helpful Guys

  • goodness a lot of questionable decisions here.

    but to the point where you raped?

    I honestly think with all the drugs and alcohol you willingly consumed you'd have a tough time getting charges pressed and upheld. However you being 16 and the guys being the age they were that is a clear statutory rape. The problem is you have to prove that he had sex with you without your consent, which would require dna tests

    I think you need to talk to your parents. be honest and tell them the entire story so they can decide what the best course of action is and your options

    I don't doubt that you were taken advantage of so I don't want you to think I'm siding with these guys...but I do think getting a charge to stick when you willingly engaged in illegal activities (drinking and drugs), willingly went to a party with them and then can't remember if sex occured or if you consented at the time

    I do think supplying drugs and liquor to a minor and statutory rape (which at your age would be consider rape regardless of consent) could be options for pressing charges.

  • This sounds like date rape, roachies etc.

    You'd better both go to a doctor to get examined and tested for

    #-drugs in your blood

    #-sexually transmissible diseases

    #-pregnancy

    #-traces of rape

    And then go to the police to file a complaint for rape or sexual assault. Describe him, where you met, the name and address of the hotel.

    Since you're 16, in many states it can be statutory rape.

    Update: rape is NEVER the victim's fault.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

8 12

  • Even if you press charges you're going to have an uphill battle since you don't know where he is nor do you have proof other than "I blacked out off of the drugs I consumed."

    You consented to him touching you in the bus stop. Do you really want to ruin someone's life because you made a bad choice?

    Really... what the fuck. You told your friend to stop talking to him because he was scary yet you still went to his hotel room to meet his friends?

    No offence, but you sort of put yourself in this position. Being high doesn't inhibit your thought/judgement process THAT MUCH to the point you were like a different person.

    • The age laws prevent her from "consenting" in most states. She was also intoxicated at the stop. He could easily be charged with public indecency and SA 3rd.

  • If you're a virgin and he had sex with you you would undoubtedly feel it the next morning.

    Please don't every hang out with random older people again. Any 27 year old who invites random 16 year olds over has issues.

    • Didn't he start touching you while you were still sober? If so then you gave consent. Instead of tracking the down and charge him because you're likely feeling a little ashamed I think you should take this as an eye opening learning experience and be happy you weren't brutally gang raped and killed...

  • The guy is long gone honestly so I doubt you'll be able to track him down if he did anything. You could have a hospital examine you if it is close enough. But for accurate results you'd really need to go right after the incident happened.

    Either way, you really need to straighten your act out and get away from all the drinking and drugs. You're gonna get into some serious issues especially being 16 years old.

  • Actually if a girl says she has been raped while she was under the influence the chances of getting a conviction are incredibly stacked in her favour, unless the guy has a stonewall alibi he would get done for it. Although I'd have suggested getting a rape kit done at a hospital... since you've left it inexplicably long it would most likely be irrelevant, plus if you're worried about the idea of getting caught for taking drugs that'd be hard to avoid. I mean you could just mention you had vodka since although it's underage drinking it's only a minor offence at best. At the same time the guy could mention drugs, although that would defeat the purpose of having any kind of legal defence as it would admit you were under the influence...

    • Actually rape convictions under the influence of drugs are stacked against, not for, the victim. This has been historically true esp. in cases where the victim has essentially blacked out and has no memory combined with the fact that she has bias. It's evident in her questioning of the alternative case with the intent to incriminate someone she hasn't come across since. In short she's unhappy it occurred and wants some empty vengeance instead of truly seeking to convict someone on a true basis.

    • Shortened: She didn't like him and wants him to go to jail.

    • I've always heard the opposite, especially when it's claims against a male... Males are always seen as guilty until proven innocent from the cases I've seen. Maybe the substance bit I'm thinking of cases in which 'both were drunk or high' in which case it doesn't mean consent counts. If I'm being honest it seems a bit of troll to me, why wait for so long to ask for advice... plus it's unusually written I feel.

  • No recourse. You were drunk at one AM.

    You are in a position where you could be placed in child services. You cannot call it rape, you don't know what happened but the guys do.

    You do not have clean hands which means, you willingly took drugs, drank alcohol and went with the guys all are illegal. If they left you with $1.00 more than you came with, you could be charged with pandering or prostitution.

    Your problem is possible pregnancy, STD, AID's and all that comes with poor judgment. Keep your eyes open, you will possibly end up in some p*rn site.

    Good luck,

    • It's still rape or sexual assault. Indeed, the possibility that some pics will end up on a p*rn site exists.

  • depends. if 16 is illegal where you're from-it was rape of a minor. if it's legal-you did tell him to stop,so it should be,but no one will take you seriously.

  • First off, If you lost your virginity your hymen will no longer be intact. Check to see if its still there... If its not well then you know something happened.

    Yes you could charge this man as you are underage. I would talk to your parents before hand if your going to go through with charges.

  • You're both idiots. Get your act together. You put yourself in that place so it's pretty damn hard to feel sorry for you. Yeah it's terrible that you may have been raped but what fucking idiot wanders around high then goes to some random persons hotel room and gets drunk and tries hard drugs for the first time? Are you fucking kidding me? See a counsellor or something. You'll end up a homeless and unemployed knocked up addict if you continue on this path.

    • But yes tell your parents anyways.

  • "Could we have been raped?" > It's unlikely.

    "Even if I wasn't raped.. can I still charge the guy because he touched me in private places when I was on drugs and he's like 10 years older than me?" > Yes, for public indecency.

  • Well you really learned a hard life lesson. Being honest with your parents and taking the consequences of your actions is really the only recourse you have at this point. You are on a bad path, it's time to make better decisions.

  • I would say go to a hospital or doctors office and have yourself checked out. If he did have sex with you, you want to make sure that everything is OK with you and that you didn't get anything. You could still press charges , if he did it is considered statutory rape, and even if you were high you still said no to him.

  • That is dangerous behavior for a girl , and totally ungentlemanly for a guy . When friends get loaded especially girls , they should stick together and not let one another get out of ones sight . There are too many really bad people out there ...you were lucky .

  • What a mess. The first problem is that both you and your friend a) willingly went with him to the hotel room b) did illegal drugs c) can't remember what happened d) can't find this stranger

    Did the girl on the sofa say anything when you woke up? The guy could claim that the sex was consensual and you would have no way of proving otherwise because you can't remember

    • Sex with a minor can not be consensual since a minor can only give her consent from a certain age. Sex with someone who is drugged can not be consensual since a drugged person can not give her consent. Traces of drugs remain in the blood for weeks.

  • I hope you two bozos realized an important lesson here and that is to not disobey your parents.

    • so its her fault she was sexually assaulted? seems legit

  • Your best bet is to learn from this and leave drink and drugs alone especially together, because if you cannot remember, then how can you disprove consent, so just try and learn by this mistake, and remember, some guys are not just after sex, and won't just rape you, and being easy to pick up can be a target for these guys who want more. Stay safe and stay together, and never walk home, get a cab after a night out unless with a group with some guys,x

  • You chose to go to the hotel with all of them and you said you even kind of liked it when he was fingering you. If you REALLY didn't want him to do anything you should've pushed him away, walked away, got your friend and get attention etc. But you didn't, you let it happen and you chose to stay and go back to the hotel with them. You're only 16 and you're already getting all whacked out on alcohol and drugs and you need to stop before something bad really happens. There are crazy people out in the world so be careful and get your crap together before you end up on a milk carton.

  • Don't be a wasted idiot next time and it won't happen

  • If you'll woke up naked then you were raped.

  • You are too young to be doing this shit. Listen to your parents for fucks sake!

  • The first problem is that you were high and out and about at one am! The second is that you went somewhere with strangers the third is that you did drugs with these strangers! For god sake if they had molly they damn well could have had Ruffies! This question will get deleted since you are underage so read all the answers fast! I'll leave my name up so friend me and we can talk more!

Latest Questions

Husband has private account for porn and follows naked woman daily, is this normal?
If you had the power to snap your fingers and make something happen instantly what would it be?
Can men catch feelings after sex?
Do women really squirt or is that a euphemism for orgasming?
Home >  Sexual Health  > I think me and my friend got raped at a party with strangers? Too intoxicated to remember?