Why would my boyfriend allow his friends to watch us having sex?

My boyfriend and I had a party last Saturday some people over to watch football grill out and have some drinks, it started getting late people started doing shots I had a little bit too much to drink so I went and laid down in my boyfriend's bed. My boyfriend came to bed about an hour later he climbed on top of me started kissing me and taking my clothes off. We both like spicy sex so it's not unusual for him to want to tie me up, or blindfold me, or get me to dress like a cheerleader or little schoolgirl, I was a cheerleader in college so I still have my old uniforms. That night he blindfolded me strip me naked and we started having sex, I asked him if the door was locked and he said it was. I gave him a blowjob for about 10 minutes and then I got on top of him, I was riding him pretty rough being wild and saying all the dirty things guys like to hear, I turned around on him and rode him backwards for about 20 minutes. I started getting this feeling kind of like a sixth sense that someone was watching besides my boyfriend, I pulled my blindfold down a little bit to peek out and our bedroom door was wide open and three of his friends that were at the party were standing in the door watching me ride my boyfriend completely naked, to make matters worse they all had their cell phones out and I was facing the door. I was like what the hell, I told them to get out I got off of my boyfriend and got dressed. I asked my boyfriend why he would let them do that and he claims he cannot see them because I was blocking his view of the door. I told him that was bullshit I'm only 125 pounds there's no way my body can block the entire doorway. I got dressed went out and told them that they had to leave then I went and slept on the couch. I'm still kind of mad at my boyfriend although we are not breaking up or anything I have given him the silent treatment for a few days. I asked him why he did that and he told me that after I went to bed they started talking about their girlfriends and his friends were telling him how good my boobs were looking that night in my tank top. The conversation turned into talking about all of their girlfriends boobs and my boyfriend told them that he would leave the door unlocked so they could get a quick peek of my boobs bouncing while I was on top of him. He said he did not mean for them to stand there and watch the whole time. I told him it was a very immature thing for him to do and I would almost rather him ask me to flash them rather than do what he did even though I still probably would not have flash them. Why would he want his friends to see my boobs or even allow them to see me having sex? they saw a lot more than just my boobs in fact they saw everything about me. I just don't understand
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Most Helpful Guys

  • He told you the door was locked. That was a lie. The blindfold was to keep you from seeing that. Then he said he could not see them (so he did not know they were there). That was another lie. Then he said that he was only allowing them a quick peek. Another lie.

    Issues here: He lies to you. You cannot trust him at all about anything. He does not respect you. You are a sex object for him to show off to other guys. At the very least, the other guys now have videos of you having sex, blowing him, bouncing all over him, and your face is in them. (Blindfold did not cover it all and you did not say but you might have taken it completely off while they were recording you.) But also likely is that they have passed it around and it has been uploaded to the internet.

    The next morning, when you were sober. considering the facts above, you should have ended it completely. You cannot trust him; you are just a sex toy for him; and he has taken away your personal privacy and broadcast it to (possibly) the world. If after all this you stick with him, it says something bad about you.

    • such a sold response! i can guarantee he broke up with her and this guy knew she was dumb and he could pull something off like this based on her post. he didn’t even love her let alone have an ounce of respect for her. that is the most vile thing i’ve ever read on the internet tbh

  • I would have gotten ahold of the police first things first and make sure his friends erase the video footage of you guys having sex from their phones, and threaten to press charges on all of them for unlawfully recording you without your permission, and or authorization! It's called unlawful voyeurism who knows what they are gonna do with that video footage! I wouldn't be so worried about the embarrassment of all this or even your anger towards your boyfriend I'd be more angry what's gonna happen with the footage and just what their motive was behind this devious act! I definitely wouldn't have cared if your boyfriend, or his friends went to jail deserves them right guys need to learn it's not cool to video someone in a sexual way without their permission what I said to you may sound harsh, however what they did to you was A LOT HARSHER! Because now you have to worry is someone gonna see me on some p*rn site? Things like this can ruin a person! You should have demanded immediately any videos made on their phones be erased and with you to witness it!

Most Helpful Girls

  • That's someone who does not respect you. If he wanted them to see you so bad, he could at least have had the decency to talk to you about it beforehand even if you probably would have said no. But just going and doing that without even telling you is low.

    How can you still want to be with a man who doesn't care if other men see you naked and doing sexual things? I would feel so disrespected if that happened to me. I understand that some men like to show off their girlfriend but there are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed, especially if the girlfriend doesn't know about it, like in your situation.

    Also, the fact that he allowed them (because it's obvious he knew they were watching the whole time) to take videos of it is beyond disrespectful. From my personal point of view, this is someone who doesn't seem to care a whole lot about you. Of course, you obviously know him better than I do, I'm just basing my opinion off of this question.

    This is definitely a serious thing though and something you need to discuss with him. He had no right to do that without your consent.

  • He wanted an ego boost, that's why he did it.

    He wanted to show off your body and the type of action he gets in bed.

    Of course he knew they would stand there and watch, they wanted to see the best part.

    It was very disrespectful of him, and who knows what their going to do with the videos of you.

    You made up your mind that you're staying with this guy,...so I cannot advise you on what to do further.

    All I can say is, be wary, take precautions and don't get drunk with your boyfriend again.

  • He shouldn't want anyone to see you especially naked. My boyfriend can barely take me out to dinner cause he doesn't like guys looking at me, this post makes me sad..

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This is the law for video voyeurism: link

  • Because it’s hot

    • you’re a saggy trash whore. grow up

  • He has no respect for you and your feelings. You need to rethink that

  • He thinks your hot and wanted to turn you into his own little porn star. Not cool if you haven't talked about it before. I doubt it was a complete disrespect thing, probably more of a bragging about your girl and stopped thinking thing.

  • He's a disrespectful idiot and I am also not sure why you didn't dump him over it. That's stupid too. If my fiance did that I would send him packing.

  • he doesn't respect you. he objectifies you and this is evidenced by lying to you and letting his friends see you in the act.

    if he respected you he wouldn't lie and do this to you...If you believe the b.s. he is giving you about he only thought they'd watch for a second then you are buying into his lame (terribly transparent) excuses to try and get you to think that he wasn't simply abusing your trust.

    I'd really REALLY consider if this kind of treatment is something you are ready to deal with in your relationship because this sounds like a really unhealthy and actually abusive (not in the beat you up way but more of the mentally manipulative way)

  • Sometimes what would have been a "hot idea" backfires. This is one of those times.

  • wow just wow. Do all girls like to be treated this shitty nowadays? the worst that would come out of this is the girl not breaking up with her boyfriend even though she's been publicly humiliated LOL. what's this world coming to man makes me sick. jokes on you

  • It is total disrespect and I would leave him

  • he should be your ex-boyfriend...like yesterday!

    What he did to you is actually illegal...he could be arrested for it.

    I don't blame you for feeling completely violated...to me...this was totally uncool.

  • It’s kind of hot. I would not let a guy watch but let an ex’s friend watch once. It was super hot. The friend was hot... she just watched in her thong and bra. I couldn’t really see if she was doing anything to herself but I kinda think she was. I’d let a girl watch anytime but no guys.

  • Wow...just wow

  • u obvi were a girl he knew he could toy around bc from the sounds of it u jst woke up n thought a silent treatment wld suffice………. his behavior is scary.. he looks at u like he looks at a dog. actually i take that back, he’d have more respect for a dog. he just completely exposed u n it was such a calculated play the entire time. not to mention everything else that sounds so odd, like y wld u be having wild sex w ur boyfriend while u know u have company over? and, loudly i’m assuming, basically just pointing out ur whorish behavior, guys r not dumb they know exactly what girls tolerate based on their suggested behaviors. a girl w even an ounce of self respect wld never stick around and “not breakup” he exposed u completely, lied repeatedly, and didn’t even apologize and ur on here asking strangers what they think? this man didn’t even love u in the slightest bit he prob would have more respect for a stripper. idc about anything else u have to say ab this relationship based on this alone i can confidently say u were looked at as nothing more than a vagina to him. sounds harsh but i need to grow the hell up ur a gross girl to b ok w that. but pls, update up its been over a year later?

  • That's what I call an ass , I would dumb him

  • And your happy to remain with someone like this? sounds like secretly you are kinda enjoying what you are feeling about it? otherwise there is no way you would accept an apology as easy as that,x