Guys, I need your advice! Found Viagra under our couch while cleaning.

Well, not exactly Viagra, but a packet of (unopened) blue pills which are apparently used for the same thing (did a google search lol). I live with my boyfriend and we are both in our early twenties. His low sex drive has been worrying me for about a year now because its so unusual for his age! I have considered that he might not be attracted to me anymore, that he might be asexual, gay, ...many different options. A few weeks ago he told me that he doesn't like to have sex because it hurts him to get hard due to a surgery he had 2 years ago. Now that I have stumbled across these pills I think he was trying to hide something from me. Which I completely understand it could be embarrassing to him. Could he really have erectile dysfunction at such a young age? What causes this, and how can I help? He hasn't opened the package so I am guessing he hasn't tried them yet, but I would definitely love to see if it would help! I have tried talking to him about his libido in the past, and he would just say he is tired, sick, etc. We are very open with each other so this is very surprising to me! Anyway- sorry to ramble- should I bring this up to him or pretend I didn't see them? Guys- if you have been in my boyfriend's shoes before- what are some things you think I should know?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • As indy7 said, lots of very common meds can cause ED as a side effect, but anti-depressant meds are at the top of the list, and they are prescribed like candy these days.

    Anyway, I thought I should mention this: Viagra/Cialas and other similar drugs don't do anything to enhance libido (your desire for sex), they just increase bloodflow in the genital region, which makes it easier to get an erection. So if his problem is an ED problem (unable to get it up), and not a libido problem, then this could definitely help. However, if the problem is really a libido issue (he has no desire for sex), then this won't help that much - he'd have an erection, but no real desire to use it.

    Again, libido issues are very common side-effects of many common drugs, and if that's what's going on, he needs to talk to his doctor about it and see if he can be switched to a different drug that has less effect on his libido. Many people never realize that the meds they are taking for one thing are affecting them in other ways, so they don't know how to fix it. Once you figure out the problem, though, fixing it usually isn't all that difficult; you just have to work through it with your doctor.

  • A lot of meds can cause ED problems -- antidepressants, antiseizures, stimulants (often used for treating ADHD symptoms), anti-anxiety meds, the list goes on for miles. What may effect one person that way may not effect another. Sometimes Viagra will counteract the med, sometimes it doesn't. Again, it depends on the individual.

    Some meds even affect a guy's ability to have an orgasm and ejaculate even though he's able to get hard, which some women really like! lol I've experienced that when I was being prescribed an antiseizure med for the treatment of migraines. Didn't help my headaches any, but I could stay hard for hours. lol

    Good luck to you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a possibility! It can happen to any guy of any age! The best way to bring it up might be to write him a letter. Make it long, remind him of all the good times you've had and how much you love him but how finding the pills made you uncomfortable. Let him know that you are a little hurt that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth. But also make sure the letter is understanding, and that you know it's a tough situation to be in, let him know you love him and that just because he may struggle with ED it's not something that changes how you look at him!...honestly there really is no easy way to bring it up!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i would tell him you found them, ask them what they are and then have a conversation about it. if you two have the type of relationship where you do talk about things like this then I would suggest doing that

    like the answerer said, if he he is on other prescription meds they could def be affecting his libido because most guys in their 20s shouldn't have ED

    • Ok thank you! That is a good idea. I want to bring it up without embarrassing him because he has nothing to be embarrassed about. I just want to help and also maybe see if he will try it out tonight lol! :)

  • If he has been seeing a doctor about this, he should share the findings with you. If not, he should go. Find the real reason and cause, and the two of you can work things out on your end and the doctor can deal with the medical side.

    The big thing is that this is an issue for the two of you and you need to be completely open with each other about it.

    And he should probably take you with him to the doctor so you get it firsthand and no misinterpretation creeps in.

  • Time to get a hidden cam!

  • I've had ED in my 20s. I found out that it was the prescription drugs I was taking for ADHD that were causing ED as a side effect. It was strange because I could get hard for jacking off but not for sex. I switched to a different medicine. And I would sometimes not take the pills on days I knew I was going to have sex. If it's his viagra, I'm sure he'll be very embarrassed to talk about it with anyone. Even with you since he never has brought this to your attention, so be gentle and sympathetic about it.

    • Ohhh maybe his prescription drugs are affecting him as well. What if I told him that I accidentally found them, and think its awesome and suggest he give it a try tonight? ;) ;) ...would that still embarrass him?

    • It might go over well with him. I don't know him. But I think you sound like an awesome girlfriend.

    • I think I might give it a shot when he gets home! :) Aww thank youuu! haha wish me luck! I hope this goes the way I see it going in my head =P.