Sexual Health
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Blackmailed by my girlfriend's sister?

hi lads and ladies, 17 year old male with an amazing girlfriend here. all is well, except for...well, her sister. let me just tell you all a bit of details and background information before I ask for advice: my girlfriend and I have been giving each other oral s** for pretty long. we also sext sometimes when either of us is away. recently, my girlfriend's sister snooped around my girlfriend's phone and FOUND OUR SEXTS WITH NUDES PHOTOS. may I also mention that the sister claims to have found semen on the bedsheets. now this sister is just ridiculous, she is now blackmailing my girlfriend and I by threatening to tell my girlfriend's parents about our sex lives. this will certainly lead to a forced break up which I am trying to avoid. the sister claims that she wants to 'satisfy her curiosity & keep us safe from infections' and if we come clean to her, she will keep her mouth shut. she also wants us to 1. only do our sexual activities at her house so she can 'make sure no one else from the family will find out', 2. use condoms, 3. go for a hiv test. she insists that my girlfriend and I have had sex when we really havent, plus the chance of contracting hiv from oral sex is pretty darn low so I don't know why she insists we attend a test or she'll expose us. what should I do? I don't trust the sister to simply forget about this so easily and I also don't want to continue living with her blackmailing me...i really love my girlfriend and I hope some of you here can help. please no rude or cynical remarks...thanks.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Did your girlfriend delete the texts? Does your girlfriend's sister have any proof that you guys have had oral sex? If the girlfriends sister doesn't have proof then you and your girlfriend should simply lie when she tells her parents. I know lying can be unethical but you have no choice, the girlfriend sister is invading your privacy and she is putting you in a position where you have too lie. As for the semen on the bedsheets part, that's just your girlfriend sister trying to mess with your mind. She is just making an "accurate guess" and she thinks if she keeps enforcing it on you then you will fess up and tell the truth . The sister thinks your lying that you guys didn't have sex. As far for the "no other family member will find out part", that's also another mind game . She is just trying to get you to tell her everything. She is scared of HIV and she wants to make sure how far things have gotten between you and your girlfriend. She is trying to make herself look trustworthy. But don't fall for it, she is just tricking u. I know what your going through is hard and I feel for you. But you gotta hang in there and remain strong. Also tell your Girlfriend TO DELETE HER TEXTS and if possible for her to keep a lock on her phone(I suggest the delete texts over phone lock because when you lock your phone makes it more obvious your hiding something). Every text she gets from you, your girlfriend should delete it asap. Doesn't even matter if it's not sexual , because if the sister can be this controlling over your guys sex life. She can be more controlling on other things as well.

    Another option: if the sister has valid proof then you and your girlfriend or just your girlfriend has to tell truth and hope for the best cause it sounds better from your girlfriend rather than the sister

  • In short, your options are: going along with the perv sister or facing her parents. In my experience, the later are often far more understanding than you expect them to be. I don't know them, so I cannot really recommend that going that way is the best shot, but going with the sisters won't bring you anywhere for sure. She is a perv who wants to control you. She is not against you two haveing sex, but against doing something out of her view.

  • Why was she going through your girlfriend's phone, checking sheets, and insisting that you both only do it at her place? What does she mean by 'satisfy her curiosity'? Sounds kinda wrong to me, especially with the blackmail factor. You shouldn't do anything she says. Better yet, you should tell her to back off and stop being a pervert.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have a rule of thumb that I will never be blackmailed. I've been sin similar non-sex related situations, and my response is always "go for it." I refuse to be at the mercy of someone.

    That being said, I am very anti-game in terms of relationships and family, and my girlfriend believes the same thing. My advice is to sit down with you girlfriend, look the sister in the eye, and simply say go ahead and tell them. By doing this, this takes away all the power she has over you. Three repercussions will follow:

    1. She'll mind her own business and not tell because you took all the fun out of it.

    2. She'll tell, the two of you deny it till the cows come home and hope they believe you.

    3. She'll tell, the two of you admit to it, and hope for the best.

    What I would make know no her sister is that blackmail is unacceptable and if she pulls through with this behavior, she will destroy the relationship with her sister, and that eventually, you'll have the opportunity for revenge. When that opportunity comes, you won't have any mercy.

    Most importantly, for you and your girlfriend, this is an opportunity for the both of you to grow the hell up. This is the stupidity behind sending nude pictures and sexting. Once files are sent electronically, they're out there forever. Learn from your mistakes, become more educated about sex and how to keep it private, and deal with the repercussions of your mistakes.

  • This is assuming that both of you were 17 when the sexts and pictures were taken. First, have your girlfriend delete the photos and sexts from her phone if it hasn't already been done. In fact, if her phone has a removable memory chip, take it out and smash it to bits with a hammer.

    Next, if the sister threatens again and claims to have copies of the pictures, tell her that you'll contact the cops and let them know that she possesses child p*rn and may be trying to distribute it or display it to others. Remind her constantly that she'd be branded as a child sex offender for just possessing the images.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 5

  • Sounds like she desperately wants control and she is a pervert. I would confront her about and it try to get her some professional help

  • I'd tell her to f*ck off and I'd run to my parents and tell them what she was trying to do and that much of it is lies. In todays world I am quite sure that her parents have already figured out that you two have explored each others naked bodies and have had some sexual activity.

  • the sister is older ?

    in a way she seems to protect her sister , to make sure nothing bad is happening...

    in another way she seems like a sick mofo :p

    • she's 3 years younger so I don't know what she's trying to do...

    • she's trying to feel important and in control... your girlfriend should have a real talk with her , and she should be in control of her little sis , not other way around :D if it doesn't help , try coming "clean" ( in a little bit cleaned up / white lie version , that is ) to the parents...

    • But you can also ignore it for a while , she'll mature out of it , of course it might erupt in a fight or something...

  • What you should do ? Easy. Tell her you have proofs of her blackmailing, and that you will go to the police if she persists.

  • You can't get HIV unless you're having sex with an infected person, or getting a blood transfusion with an infected needle. If she thinks you'll get it, she may think you're not getting the whole story from your girlfriend. Just be careful man, bro to bro

    As far as blackmailing, I would just tell the truth dude. Yes, it'll hurt but I think it's better than the parents finding out behind their backs, they might be a little more lenient on you and your girlfriend. The sister thinks you won't do it, that's why she's blackmailing you

  • Er why does it say your 25-29 if you are 17? Its none of her business - talk to someone about it

  • kill the sister, bury the body, run to vegas, get married, and move to canada.

    Or you can just forget what the sister says and see what your girlfriend wants to do.

  • I can tell you this much, if I ever found out my kid pulled a blackmail stunt like that, their punishment would be 10x worse than the one being blackmailed. Record the sister blackmailing you or if you have a written note from her...flip the script and threaten to turn her in for blackmailing you.

    Or you could turn yourselves in...obviously downplay the level of your sexual activity but expose the sister for blackmailing.

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