Do "prudes" annoy you or make you feel uncomfortable? Is it a good or bad thing to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm what many would describe as a prude. Not really in terms of my ideals and my persona. I'm very liberal in my ideology and I have a pretty dirty mouth, I'm open to talking about sex/sexuality (probably more freely than people on the opposite end of the spectrum usually), I don't really look down on people who are doing all kinds of things... But when it comes to what I do, I'm a prude by a certain definition. I didn't drink until I was 21, and I still drink very little. I've never been drunk, probably not even buzzed from alcohol. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs (aside from prescription drugs and a little alcohol). I'm in my 20s and I'm still a virgin, I've never done oral sex or anything. I've never even made out with anyone. I don't like clubs or bars too much either. Are you annoyed by these types of people? I sometimes get the feeling that without me even trying, expressing my tastes in what I do and don't like to do, or will or wont, makes some people annoyed, or even insecure. My best friend (who is far from a prude, she's my opposite. she's been in orgies, wasted drunk, some drugs, etc.) and I were talking about this girl. We went out with her and she was so pushy about trying to get me to do shots at the bar with them, kept trying to push me to sleep with someone that night, etc. Sometimes friends joke around, but she seemed a bit eager. At one point she was about to call this guy over and tell him I thought he was cute. (Note, I said shit all about this guy. wasn't even on my radar of existence.) I didn't want to talk to her like a child, but I had to speak firmly with her, like, "No. End it, and calm down." Like I'm not 14. I wasn't a big fan of peer pressure when I was a kid, and definitely not now. When I say no, its going to be no the first, second, fortieth, and ninetieth times. Take a seat, own YOUR shit, and let me do whatever I want to do. And when I comment that she seems like a party girl, she doesn't like it. She commented once that she tried to wait for marriage, reflecting some kind of conservative ideal that she failed to meet. Bestie and I kind of psychoanalyzed her as projecting her insecurities onto me - she didn't seem comfortable with me being who I am because it seemed to make her insecure with who she is. She denies being a party girl, but when we go out, she can take several shots, and still want to go to the next bar and keep going. This is a party girl to me, idk. Anyway, she's only one example. This has happened a few times. When it doesn't, I think people think I am judging them. I think being super wild can land you in some pretty unsavory positions, as I've seen time and time again with my friends. But I don't think I'm a better person for being the way I am. I'm just me. And I know sometimes its harmless - people like me in one context because I can be really social and funny and say crazy things so they want me to go party with them. But sometimes people need to get off my dick. idk. Okay, blah blah. Thoughts?

[Albinism]

A prude is a person who is shocked by sexual matters/kissy-kissy stuff. If you're like 7 years old and a prude, then that's understandable. But if you're already through puberty, or are above 18 years old, then you are just downright immature. Seriously, sexual attraction is hardwired in the human brain, and when you are a prude/act like a prude, then you are just showing people that you are desperately trying to have retain this child-like innocence that comes with prepubescents and immaturity.

I severely doubt that prudes are asexual, but instead are just trying to act rebellious or innocent so that people will like them. Ironically, it does the opposite, and the word prude is synonymous with immaturity. When you're too young to care about sex, then it's perfectly fine. But when you see a grown adult who says "EWW!" whenever they see someone kissing or something sexual, or a person who acts like seeing someone else's nude body is the equivalent of the Holocaust, then it gets annoying. It gets more annoying the older the prude is, really.

Whenever I see a prude, be it on youtube, or in real life, it reminds me of the age-old "cooties" thing that goes on with young kiddies. Now, prudishness doesn't have anything to do with bars, drinking or any of that stupid shit. Personally, I condemn alcoholism, smoking, and stuff of that sort. Prudishness is a term that is restricted to sex alone.

But back to the point, prudishness is natural when you're a prepubescent, and is really loathsome when you're an adult/teenager. There is a huge difference between celibacy and prudishness, which is the fact that celibates do not whine or get "traumatised" by sexual matters. The second difference is that prudes do not like sex just because they think it's all yucky yucky cooties material, while celibates do not have sex or marry because of religious/moral reasons. Yes, of course, sex comes with its inherent risks, like having sex at too young of an age, or having unprotected sex, but it's how a typical prude responds that is condemnable. Let's not take it to extremes here. I'm not saying that prudes have to have the wildest, most extreme kind of sex that's humanly possible, but I'm saying that prudes have to accept that sex and sexual attraction are a natural part of human nature, and not accepting that is basically giving society the finger. I do not know of any (major) religion or culture where people are not allowed to have sex AT ALL.

Prudes have to grow up.

[Longshot]

You have chosen a path of not partaking in risky behavior or taking chances. To many this will be annoying and some will think you are a prude for being that way. There may even be others who will be a little jealous and wish they were that way ... this group of people will be more pushy about getting you to try stuff because they want to justify their own behaviors.

Judging others morality and their behaviors is something we all do even if we don't admit to it. But you have the right to lead your life in the way you want and if others don't like it or find it annoying, it's their problem, not yours. At the same time, if you don't like the way others lead their lives, that's your problem. We live in America where we all get a freedom of choice. To me, your behaviors are not right or wrong ... you are just choosing to lead your life in the way you want. And that's the way it should be.

[Asker]

I agree, its not right or wrong to live the way I do, in my opinion. One is more high risk than the other, but nothing necessarily "wrong" about it. But not everyone agrees so that's why I asked "good or bad." I just encourage my friends to be safe because sometimes they really worry me. But some people like these specific types of risks involved, its fun to them and they think you only live once, so why not? I totally understand that, I just choose to live differently :)

[lumos]

I'm kinda like you. I'm 18 and I don't drink (yet), but I still go to bars and parties and all that because it can still be fun. I don't think it's about being prude, it's about having a different lifestyle. Alcohol is not your number one priority, and that's fine. Anyone who judges you for it is, as you and your bestie concluded, projecting their insecurities onto you. Believe me, TONS of people have tried to do that to me, even this one guy who was the most annoying of all. He literally judged me for not going to parties every week, for not drinking, for not yet having my driver's licence (I don't need one) and went on and on about it for like half an hour. I really wanted to punch his face and tell him to stop judging my lifestyle or gtfo, but I just ignored him.

Yes, it was immature of her to want to call that guy over to tell him that you thought he was cute, even though you hadn't even seen him. Just calling him over to talk probably wouldn't have been a big deal. But the fact that she wanted to lie about you thinking he was cute, just made it obvious that she just a) wanted to make you embarrassed or b) wanted to put you on the spot because you're different from her or c) both. Lame move imo.

The thing with these people is just that they don't realize that you don't enjoy doing the same things they do, and that it's completely fine. You're not a stick in the mud for not wanting to take shots. If you don't like it, then why do it? Forcing yourself to do things you don't like just to please others is stupid in my opinion. I agree with MissConfused that taking risks is a good thing, at least partially. But why take unnecessary risks? If you don't like the thought of doing drugs or getting drunk, then there's no reason for you to do it. It's just not your cup of tea, and that's fine. Having fun =/= doing drugs and drinking. You can have fun without it too.

[MissConfused93]

Wanting to do a few shots and go to the next bar is not a party girl. You're a prude for thinking that. If you're bothered by typical bar and club behavior but still go and won't partake - THAT is annoying. If you're going to be like that, don't go.

Not drinking or smoking is a personal choice and I respect that but what are you doing with people who don't have those same views?

As for the sex thing - who cares?

My personal opinion is that "prudes" are too afraid to take chances and have fun. & that alone annoys me. They're starving themselves of possible opportunities to do something fun out of fear. Sometimes you have to take risks and they seem to think that having a few drinks will have then end up dead in a gutter or that they turn into a different person just because they're intoxicated.

Or they're too afraid to make themselves vulnerable to meet members of the opposite sex, etc.

Maybe that's just me but I used to be a prude too.

Never drank until I was 17, never kissed anyone, never did any drugs, etc etc etc.

when I turned 18 I started going to bars and actually allowing guys to get to know me.

Now I drink occasionally and will take a few bong hits and I love sex, etc etc etc.

I'm still the same person. I'm not dead. I get good grades. I don't have an STI. I have a job. A boyfriend. Etc etc etc but now I'm not afraid to have fun.

All things I'm moderation are good.

[MissConfused93]

WOAH that was long. Sorry hahahah

[Asker]

hey, no problem. you're entitled to your opinion. even if its a long one! my question blurb was really long too I guess. :)

[XRabbitHeartX]

I associate prudes more with girls who have no experience and who openly criticize, judge and ridicule girls who are sexually experienced. You don't sound like a prude at all to me. Anyway I'm also virgin but not completely inexperienced and for me it would only annoy me if a girl told me I'm a slut or make some other comment. If a girl doesn't do this then there's no reason for me to be annoyed with her. It's only bad if you hate on people.

[marlowstevens]

I guess it's a case of to each his own. Each person's upbringing and personal experience makes them who they are and as long as they have confidence and pride in themselves, and have never been closed minded to others' ideas and views then it's fine. My advise to anyone is to learn as much as you can and experience as much as you can in life, because you're gonna be dead a long, long time. Here's To Life!

[indy7]

...get off your dick? I thought you were a girl. lol

It seems to me you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. I don't think I'd classify you so much as a prude as someone with some good sense and morals that you stand by.

Some people drink, take drugs, go to orgies, and take part in all kinds of high risk behavior. That's okay for them. I've done some of that. You have a good attitude in not judging them. Eventually they'll either grow up or wise up before it gets the best of them. But you're right, they need to get off your dick and respect your decisions just as you respect theirs. In the mean time I guess they'll call you whatever they want and be a bit perturbed with you for not going along with the crowd. Tough shit. Their loss.

So, no, the actions, or inactions, of someone like you would not annoy me. I can understand you. But a prude in the bedroom, who I is someone I would consider to be frigid, now that would, and did, frustrate me. Marital problems came from that.

[MaskofInsanity]

It sounds like you're inexperienced and kinda innocent, but not a "prude". You're still open minded and seemingly not judgmental. No issues.

It's the people who push things onto you that are bloody annoying. To me "prudes" are a bit judgmental against those of us who choose to be more... free spirited :D Doesn't seem like you're like that.

[madhatters4]

i have no problem with people who are "prude" whether it's regards to drinking, sex, or whatever.

[Clayaya]

I’m 21 also. Some people would call me prude also. Mostly because they want to fuck me & can't. Nothing wrong with it. Do what makes you comfortable. I’m willing to do almost anything with a guy that I’m in a committed relationship with. If I’m not then I’m not doing anything remotely sexual. Guys have called me a prude bitch but idgaf. People only call others that when they want something. It’s manipulative af. But it’s best to enforce boundaries. Do what makes you comfortable.

[nate60516]

I don't think guys are annoyed with prudes...unless we happen to be dating one. I've made the mistake before...never again.

[Anonymous]

No.