Would a boyfriend think its weird for their girlfriend to ask how their vagina feels?

im paranoid about my vaginal tightness?! Okay guys I am extremely paranoid about whether I'm tight or loose. I recently had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. I'm 22. I thought that I would be extremely tight because I never fingered myself before, never used a tampon, basically very unfamiliar with my kitty lol :) The first time I had sex, it hurt a lot, but only for a while. It only hurt to get it in and the first couple times when he was thrusting. I did not bleed and didn't even hurt afterward. I had the tiniestttt bit of blood on my underwear and pain the next morning but that's IT. Before we had sex, I asked him to put one finger in (to get me warmed up), it hurt me for a bit, but he said "I can definitely put one finger in" What did that 'definitely mean'? Does that mean he could put way more fingers in? :( Because it didn't hurt as much to have sex (I imagined the pain to be way more than how most girls would describe), does this mean that I'm not that tight? Why do I not feel the pain during intercourse. I have always done kegels and now even more so, because I'm so concerned about my pelvic floor. I even bought ben wa balls so I would be able to gain even more strength and be able to do cool things during sex :) After I had sex, now I'm paranoid about whether I'm loose and about my vaginal muscles. :( Next time I'm with him, I'm gonna ask how my vagina feels to him. Do you think he would get scared if I'm loose? Is this too weird of a question to ask him? Third world problems...but I'm honestly so scared my vagina being loose :( Should I just ask if I'm tight or loose? I'm too scared to put my fingers in. I'm even scared to put Ben wa balls in... Help people.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Most virgins have little or no trouble getting one finger in when the girl is even a little bit aroused. Getting a second finger in can be difficult and/or painful, but not so much because the vagina is "tight", but because the hymen is being stretched/torn.

    A non-virgin who is aroused usually has no problem fitting two fingers. It might be slightly tight/painful during initial insertion, but for most girls, any initial pain goes away almost immediately, and often there is no pain at all.

    Fitting a third finger in usually requires a little bit of work/stretching for most girls, and with a bit of work, most can fit a fourth finger in, though that can take more stretching and may be a bit painful at first. For most girls, 4 is pretty much the limit without serious pain.

    Remember, your vagiina is pretty elastic, and the muscles/tube can stretch quite a bit if done slowly. Many girls can fit their entire hand inside themselves if they work up to it over a few minutes (and lube their hand up good). They can still be "tight" if they have good muscle tone, because their muscles will be able to stretch out and still tighten up again, much like, say, a gymnast's muscles do.

    I was with a girl who really WAS "loose" once. We were making out, and I reached into her panties to rub her, and as I worked my hand down, curving my fingers over her mound, I got to the "hole" and three of my fingers just kind of sank into it with zero effort, and plenty of room left over. This was WAY different than any other girl; way outside the norm. She took 4 fingers effortlessly, and I had my whole hand in her before very long (I'd always wanted to try it, but I have big hands and most girls were way too small for me to try). Yes, sex was pretty awful; I had to try to angle my thrusts so I could feel both sides... Ugh. But, yeah, that's what guys are concerned about. I'm virtually positive that you are nothing close to that.

    Really, you are over-thinking and borrowing trouble where none exists.

  • Yes, you are being paranoid and don't ask him that . The only concern is that ' if you ' had sex with someone else that day then with your boyfriend = then you would be loose and he would know ;)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Vaginal looseness isn't really a thing. It's pretty much a myth, at least in the sense that people tend to reeeaally blow the whole thing out of proportion.

    Ok. First things first, a biology lesson. Your vagina's natural state is closed shut and tight. This is to prevent bacteria from just casually venturing into it. No matter how much you try to stretch it out and make it loose, it will ALWAYS go back to its tight state after a while because it NEEDS to be shut. The only thing that can noticeably affect the tightness (you can hardly notice it, really) is when you stretch it with incredible, almost unnatural force (like multiple childbirths or someone hurting you down there for a really long time), or with old age. Like really old age. And as I said, the difference would still be minimal, if not nonexistent in some cases.

    So don't worry about whether you're "loose" or not. It's just an excuse that guys can use when they try to rationalize why they want virgins (tight virgin vs "loose whore"). Do dicks become softer after they've had sex a few times? No. So neither do vaginas become any looser.

    As for that "definitely put one finger in" comment, well yeah, duh he could definitely put one finger in. The vagina is not some kind of locked door that can't ever be open. It stretches, especially when you're horny. So I would have been more concerned if he actually hadn't been able to put one finger in. That would have meant that you weren't relaxed and horny enough. So calm down. You're normal.

  • The reason it hurts the first time is usually due to the hymen being stretched or broken, which was also the cause of the blood the next morning. You shouldn't be worried that you didn't feel that much pain, it probably just means that your hymen wasn't particularly tough, which is a good thing. And the fact that he could put a finger in easily is totally normal, a finger really isn't that big, and when you get turned on the vagina lubricates itself, making it even easier to put something in. I'm sure your vaginal muscles are perfectly tight, and I really don't think it's anything to worry about.

  • I truly respect you just because you actually lost your virginity in a age that seems very much appropriate. You are an adultt, able to think and reason, and haveca kife ahead of you. I applaud you and I am sure that you gave it to him because he is truly special.

    To answer your question, you are tight. Come on...nyiu started if as a virgin. It is good you do kegel excercise, because utll keep the hole from expanding. Anyway cool yiu domiy, yiu want to please him and yourself :)

    • haha thank you. But being a virgin doesn't mean tightness necessarily. it just how a woman is built and that's why I'm scared. I'm pretty small, 5'4 and have small hands, feet etc. but I'm still worried:/

    • You would have you ask him yourself. I am a virgin myself at 21 and soon will be losing it. But I do believe you were tight if it hurt. You know why many guys like petite girls sexually? because most are tight. You usually hear Asians having tight hole because of their body build is so tiny meaning tight hole if they are no completely loose. Buy yeah, I think because you felt pain , you were defi tight and because onky one finger hurt you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You sound pretty normal with maybe extra muscle control down there. Don't worry about this. If you want to get some ideas about what to do with all your extra muscle control, check out the answers to "So do you guys like it when a girl squeezes her vagina muscles during sex?"

    In terms of whether to ask your boyfriend, that depends on your relationship. If you feel free enough with him, then why not? You need to be able to share intimacies with him if you want a long-term relationship. Just don't make a big deal out of it. It's not.

  • It's hopeless. You will have to do anal sex 90% of the time to keep a man satisfied.

    No I'm not serious.

  • Don't ask your BF. It's worse than asking if you're fat in terms of putting him on the spot. Ask your gynecologist to give you a no bull evaluation of your tightness if you have to know.

    Keep in mind that the vagina doesn't loosen up with exercise. It gets stronger.

    Also, if your shrath is tight enough to grip his penis so that his foreskin slides up and down the shaft when you thrust, you're probably tight enough.

    One more thing. The size of the opening in your hymen prior to penetration is not an indicator of how tight you are.

  • Gurl I can relate, message me.

  • Exercise your PC muscles. After a while you will be tight as you want.

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  • You shouldn't worry, because if he is ejaculating, then your good, its only when he cannot finish is when you might be a little to big for him,x

  • I am 48 and have been told I am tight. The key to keeping tight or being tight is kegals. Believe me it works. Do some everyday. He will enjoy sex better and so will you.