First Time having sex.

[Cute1223455]

To all you guys and girls out there , what is sex like ? whether it's the first time or after many times of having it , or give both. I'm a virgin , and Me & My Boyfriend , are getting closer , and I think I'm ready ,and he's not a virgin, but I just need advice on my first time having sex , and what it will most likely be like. What do I expect ? = )

[Kindawiseguy]

It'll hurt if he's not careful, and even if he is he'll have to be rough towards the end to make sure he breaks your hymen. don't expect much for your first time. I suggest you wait though. Unless your ready to have a baby. I'm not saying you will but it's a possibility. And all the birth control and condoms in the world can't drop the chances to zero. aids is also the biggest killer of Americans between 25 and 44. Not everyone knows they have an STD when they pass it on so make sure he gets tested before you guys actually do this thing. make sure HPV is included on the test because condoms are almost useless in protecting you from it. Its the most common virus seen by gynecologist and can cause some kind of cancer. Cervical I think. Whatever type almost all of that kind of cancer comes from HPV. Finally the pill fails over six percent of the time and the condom 14 percent of the time. That's for each sexual encounter. These things are far from fool proof. I mean seriously 13 percent of child births ate coming from teens. yeah I know all this because I have younger sisters. one of them just joined the cheerleader squad so I'm in a state of hyper-paranoia. But yeah don't even consider skipping contraceptives. 9 out of ten teens that don't use them every time end up pregnant within a year. Just make sure your really ready for it. Remember everyone thinks there ready when they do it but obviously a lot of them aren't. three of my ex-girlfriends are pregnant. Well they were anyway. Now they are mothers. It's very common. But if you feel like you have to do it nothing I right here will stop you. Just think about what comes after this relationship. And if you don't think there will be an after then there really is no point in rushing.

[Cute1223455]

I agree , Thanks For The Advice . And No I'm not going to get pregnant , I will be very careful , and use protection and everything , and I am ready , maybe I won't do it right away , but I just wanted to know everything I could , and advice , and what to expect . I wrote this question more then a month ago , and it still never happened , cause we both wanted to wait . I'm not rushing anything , and neither is he.

[Kindawiseguy]

Well that's good. It's surprising how many people don't use the protection, almost frustrating.

[DrJones]

AIDS is not even remotely close to being the biggest killer of Americans between 25 and 44. Auto accidents are much more likely to kill people our age. Also, your statistics regarding failure rates of birth control are completely made up; it's 10-18% per *year* with typical use, not per sexual encounter. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Causes_of_death_by_age_group_(percent).png https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom

[Kindawiseguy]

I got the first fact from a reliable source but it may have meant amongst diseases, then I made an error. the second one your right. It seems I forgot to write "a year" for the second one.

[DrJones]

It's different for different people! But here are some general guidelines:

The first time is often painful for the girl - sometimes not much, sometimes a lot, it depends. After a few times, it should hurt much less. (If it doesn't, go see a gynecologist!) If the guy is patient and gentle, it helps a lot.

It's also very common to feel emotionally overwhelmed immediately before and after, and also to develop an emotional attachment to the guy. Most women need a little time and experience to be comfortable dealing with the emotional issues. If the guy is not a jackass, it helps a lot.

Most people (guys and girls) are nervous and awkward at first. This also passes with time and experience. If you and the guy are comfortable with each other and trust each other, it helps a lot.

Last but not least: figure out how to deal with STD and pregnancy protection (condoms, birth control, STD tests, etc.) BEFORE you have sex!

In short, if you're prepared for it emotionally and physically, it's pretty awesome :D

[Razzlin]

Well.. I've been told by some girls that it was great their first time, however:

It *is* possible that losing it could be very painful..

Mine was almost unnaturally painful.. I could not breathe for a moment actually because it hurt so badly.. I saw stars, my body went cold in a matter of seconds and my mouth went totally dry.. I have a high pain threshold, so I don't know why it was like this for me at all, honestly.. I always had problems with the gynos prior to losing it, also.. I was always extremely sensitive, and their checkups literally made my knees buckle, even though I was in the stirrups. I can say though it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I have heard that the lubricants you can buy in pharmacies near the family planning sections can help ease the pain of it..

My next one or two times having sex were a bit painful but.. everything after that was really quite fine and enjoyable. I guess there's a lot of things to factor in, but I think the most important is to make sure you can trust your life with your partner, and really be *sure*. I can't count the times I *thought* I was sure.. But when you know, you know... there's no other way I can really explain it..

[Cute1223455]

Thankkkkss Soo Muuch for this. I will be sure to use your advice for whenever something like this was to occurr. :)

[snakeyes000]

1) Youve got to be really wet, I would recommend using lube. The more wet you are, the less it will hurt.

2) Please, god, use a condom. It protects you and makes him freak out less about the blood.

3) It will hurt, if he's average or above. You may not actually 'lose it' your first time. But, once the hymen is broken it doesn't hurt as bad.

4) It will take some getting used to, your body will stretch to accomodate him. If he's too long, give it a few times before you decide whether or not you like. Hitting the cervix can be pretty painful for you(my boyfriend enjoys it), but if you're not ready for that, let him know. After a few times your body should accomodate his length as well.

5) Him being experienced, you may want to have him tested before you do, just as a precaution. Condoms don't stop everything. Also, with him being experienced, he may know how to make it better for you. Don't be afraid to communicate with him, what you like or what hurts, whether or not he can go faster or deeper.

Sex can be a wonderful thing. If you are ready for it, I say go ahead. Just, please heed my advice and lube up. I wish I had.

[DrJones]

Excellent advice! You can get lubricants at any sex shop and some drug stores sell Astroglide and related things. I also agree that he should get an STD test. Condoms hugely decrease risk of disease transmission but they don't stop everything - and make sure they're used correctly, or they don't stop anything!

[lahalaha]

It's not how you see it in movies and it won't be amazingly perfect unless you're COMPLETELY ready. I recommend you waiting until you are positive that you're ready because it's something you can never get back if you change your mind. When I had sex for the first time I didn't really bleed but it felt very uncomfortable and not pleasurable at all. I wasn't completely ready for it, so please don't make any mistakes. If you both love each other, and truly love each other, you'll be together down the road whenever you're absolutely ready, and you can experience sex together then.

[Cute1223455]

Thanks so much for the advice : ) This helps a lot.

[lahalaha]

No problem :)

[nikral]

i know of a way that makes it less painful. instead of going for the normal missionary position, try girl on top. get him to lay down then you can lower yourself onto him. this way your in control of speed and pressure so you can slowly get used to it and when your ready to speed up or for him to start thrusting then you be the one to let him know

[snakeyes000]

Doing this could get him further in than she can handle. it hurts a lot if you're not ready for that.

[nikral]

Ya, but doing that gives her control over how much she lowers herself down. as long as he lays down and doesn't thrust up without giving her notice then she should have less pain because she is in total control over how much pressure and how far he goes in

[snakeyes000]

You underestimate how much muscle control it takes from your legs to do that.

[nikral]

Oh really? that's not what I have heard....maybe you have week legs or something cause my girlfriend was able to do it no problem the first time we had sex. her friends also did it that way their first times, with no problems. so I really don't see why you have such a problem with it

[katiesmuff]

Well its been 9 months since your last update! Have you finally done the deed and if so how do you like it? Just curious

[Cute1223455]

I'm not with the guy anymore. it was over a year ago when I posted this question. lol it never happened between me and him though

[Littletad]

I'd wait if I were you. But it's your choice.

[fallingrace67]

She's 21... why should she wait if she's ready?

[Random_chick_2384]

@fallingrace67 for marriage. And it says she already broken up with with so she would have lost it to someone that didn't care about her.

[hockeypro]

I don't think it's fair to expect her to know exactly what to do, especially if it's her first time; No one's expecting you to be Kegeling (verb-tense?Dunno...) or giving head expertly.

While porn might help, I think a better approach might be to just be honest; Be honest in your movements and do what you feel you want to. Sex is deeply rooted in our tribal subconscious, so maybe try and let your inner animal instinct come out, letting that intense sexual desire and those feelings that are in all humans, out. Sex isn't totally about doing the "right moves", it's also about that emotional and sexual connection; So I wouldn't expect her to do anything, either just laying there and taking it or being extremely skilled.

no 1 is going to ask you to be a sex pro its okay just be true and do the stuff you want to do. it your virginity you are losing not the guys

[20Questions]

Just realize that sex is really overrated. I have had a lot of it and I strongly believe for best results, it should be kept within a loving marriage, but do what you like. Btw good luck :)

[goingtotryandanswer]

Overrated? Are you doing it right hahaha?

[20Questions]

I think so, lol. Nah its definately overrated. For me the best excitement is leading up to sex, the words, the foreplay. If your counting foreplay, it ain't overated. Butduring intercourse I'm usually like 'this could be better'. Maybe its just me, I have always dreamed of having the best sex ever with my future wifey, so sex doesn't satisfy me much at all. I still enjoy a good intense f*ck though

[dsmith09]

So if ur girlfriends a virgin, then what? are you going to wait to get married until you can have sex?

[20Questions]

Yeah I don't see how that would change anything!

[20Questions]

Well all I can say is, look around at the world today. Sexual standards are screwed up. Relationship messed up left and right. Kids growing up not knowing their father or mother. Single mums hustling to make a living. Call me old fashioned, but I believe its better to wait. But whatever.

[Cute1223455]

There is no right and worng answer, it's up to each person what they want, and when they want to wait :)

[Yebah]

how about not doing it. :) Wait for marriage. :)

[Cute1223455]

Nawh , I don't wanna wait for marriage , but still I don't just wanna do it with anyone.

[Arena]

If you don't want to do it means you not ready I'm 20 a virgin and I've a boyfriend who not virgin lol We decided to wait till I'm ready lol He's the right one for me now but we just wait for the right time Wish you luck!

[Random_chick_2384]

Crap I ment to give it a 👍 sorry. 😭

[girlygirl2]

feels good=]

you should get on top=]

[dinorawr]

So your first time wasn't painful?

[girlygirl2]

At first it was that's why I told her to do it on top its less painfull. doggystyle is intense soo not for 1st timers.

[petagirl17]

its not worth it. wait

[kyle18]

If I were you I would look up some information about the Hymen (cherry pop).. Because if you don't know about it your most likely going to feel uncomfortable.. Other than that it will hurt a little bit but just take it slow and it will get better every time =)

[babiik]

the first time for me was not at all uncomfortable till afterwards but I suggest you make sure you care about the person your losing I too because I lost mine just to lose it be patient don't rush it make sure he takes it slow and you should enjoy it use protection and don't worry about piping up if you aren't enjoying it

[Cute1223455]

Thanks so much :)

[joejonasluver123]

What do you mean by uncomfortable Afterwards?

[Anonymous]

Wow, I swear I didn't see your question before posting mine. (asking for advice on what to be prepared for/how to make it less painful) Me and my boyfriend have been ready to have sex for a little over half a year, but have never been given the opportunity until now. This Friday we'll have our first real shot and I'm going for it. :P

Want me to message you then? I'll probably be about to exploding wanting someone to talk to about it, and you'll get advice from someone whose memories haven't been dulled with time. Deal?

[Opinion Owner]

Oops, um, after posting my question I saw this and thought it was recent. :P So so sorry. I do stuff like this. lol, my bad

[Cute1223455]

Hha It's alright , and sure : )

[Anonymous]

done be silly to have a sex with a non virgin man if you are not gonna marry for sure.He just wants ur virginity and enjoys breaking ur hymen and make you bloody and be many virgin girls first love.

[Cute1223455]

No , he's not like that . He's my boyfriend , and I definitely know he's not like that . He doesn't want to use girls , and he hardly has relationships , but we have been seeing each other for some time now , but no he's not using me I know that. and He hasn't even asked to have sex , I just assume it will happen at some point in time , since things are heating up between us , so no , this doesn't really help me much , but thanks anyways . Just wanted advice.

[Dela1111]

I absolutely agree

[Cute1223455]

Well , my guy isn't like that , and we haven't had sex yet , and I asked this question more then a month ago , so this answer doesn't really help me , He wants to wait and so do I , and I know he doesn't just want a virgin , I know how he is. & He is definitely not one of those people , he is one of those guys that likes girls for who they are , not if their a virgin and all that. I want to wait and so does he .

[fdsa1]

Smart, I agree.

[brettb]

Wow very descriptive but very wrong.

[Virtuales]

I agree completely

[Kommer]

F off back to the 1800s with your no sex before marriage bull. It's up to the couple when they're ready, nothing changes over-night when you get married that suddenly makes it all fine.

[Cute1223455]

I definitely agree with Kommer. ;) Like , Yee it's overnight , nothing changes , and not all guys are like that anyways , Guys don't always wanna take girls virginity's , a lot do , but there's a lot that don't care if I was a virgin or not , I kno he cares , and we talked about it , soo even though I'm the question asker , and you answered I have to definitely disagree with this one.

[DrJones]

There are guys like this, but certainly not all of them. Whether or not he is a virgin tells you nothing about his motivations.