Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
She gets mad if I don't get hard. What to do?
sanfranman Xper 5
Hi, My girlfriend gets mad at me if I don't get it up. What am I supposed to do? I'm not going to take drugs. We have been together almost 3 years. I'm 42 and she's 26. Our lives and relationship are very stressful for a number of reasons. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, but by comparison to other people I have known throughout my life, I believe that she has a general anger management problem. Sometimes it works like a champ, especially in the morning. Other times it doesn't. Sometimes it gets hard while we're making out and then gets soft. I consider her physically sexy. No matter how many times I tell her that erectile function is involuntary and it's nobody's fault if it doesn't get hard, she doesn't give a shit and just gets mad at me. So then we're left lying in bed, her mad at me, me not knowing what I'm supposed to do, and after ten minutes or so of silence, she is asleep. The next day, she is mad at me for having done nothing to solve the problem and not talking about it at the time. She tells me that it's now too late to talk about it. I tell her that I don't owe her an apology. I ask her what she expects me to do. She doesn't tell me but just repeats that I should have done something. So what is it exactly? She's also the first woman I've been with who does not like to give blowjobs. In the past, I'd get hard fairly reliably with a blowjob before sex. I tell her this. She tells me that she actually does like to give blowjobs. She continues to not give blowjobs. She has done it maybe ten times in 3 years. She also doesn't seem to like receiving oral sex (I like giving it) - she just lies there silently and motionless until I stop - or using any position other than missionary. I tell her that being mad at me after an incident of failed erection is only going to make it that much harder to do the next time because I'm going to have impending rage to worry about. She doesn't give a shit and just keeps being mad at me. Generally, she just gets mad regardless of intention. If I make a mistake with the best intentions, she gets mad at me, and so on. She's not always sour. Sometimes she's sweet. After all my years of dating and relationships, I don't think it's realistic to seek a woman who is only sweet. So I don't see a point in leaving this one just to get into the same situation again with someone else. Any ideas? Thanks
Updates:
+1 y
So I can see how it would be really frustrating to a girl if her guy doesn't get hard, but how can she justify being angry AT him for it? I don't understand the concept of being angry at a person who did not intentionally do something to hurt or neglect you.
+1 y
I got the answer today. She was mad because I didn't switch to using my fingers on her when the other thing wasn't going to work. I honestly had no idea that this would have been acceptable. I know in the past I had gone down on her in the same situation and that didn't make her happy. With that experience as a reference, I just figured that my fingers wouldn't do it for her either. And even now that she said it would have, I wonder if it really would have.
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