I hate being a guy does anyone else feel this way?

[XRabbitHeartX]

When a guy loathes himself the way you do - us girls pick it up without you even realizing. Just like guys can pick up a desperate, clingy girl from miles away too. These are internal conflicts that you will have to deal with before you can ever dream of finding the right girl because when you do meet the right girl then you'll likely scare her away with your issues. If you ever want to find a partner you'll have to start working on your attitude. You cannot hate being a guy but then at the same time, expect to find love. There's no I want a girlfriend but at the same time I hate girls cause they have life SO much easier. It doesn't work that way so decide what you want.

"women and girls don't have to do shit to get a date or someone to notice them?" Actually we do and I can point you to many girls who have experienced lots of failure in dating. Like my best friend for example who is the sweetest, most genuine girl but has never been able to find a guy who is interested in her seriously. It's not just her either. For many girls, even the pretty ones, dating can be a nightmare because there will always be guys who are only interested in sex and this is a very apparent problem for girls which guys for example have no knowledge on cause they'd be too happy if a girl only wanted sex with them. Both genders have there own problems and it's important to grasp this to avoid living in a delusion where you only see yourself as the victim.

"guys have to bend backwards to even get an hello or a look?" I've been rejected, ignored and also dumped before. I did not let it make me a bitter person. Just like I've also tried looking at guys who only ended up looking away or ignoring me. It happens to pretty much everyone and I can assure you it's not just a issue for your gender. I can point you to many guys who never wanted to give me the time of day either but once again, I did not let that allow me to become a bitter, resentful person.

"no matter how confident I am women/girls only want good looking guys" No. Women want guys who they have chemistry with. Love is blind. It doesn't happen just to good looking guys. There are MANY good looking guys in my friend circle who I'd never in a million years want to actually be with because I have no chemistry with them. You are underestimating women greatly if you believe that and it shows you have no knowledge about chemistry and how the human brain works when it comes to love. For love to happen there must be overall compatibility, chemistry and looks are only believe it or not, one mere aspect of attraction. It's not everything but it's not nothing either. Some guys will find me hot,. others won't. Some guys have liked me in my past, some guys didn't. That's LIFE.

"females are taught never settle for the first guy" I cannot remember anyone ever teaching me this or believing this.

"I've thought about getting a sex change".Please don't. I think you'd be thoroughly disappointed.

[sockz]

It's not easier. It's exactly the same level of difficulty.

Here are some basic facts that may be causing you to interpret things differently:

- Men traditionally make the first move, it follows that they get knocked back more often (esp when they move too soon).

- The women you compare yourself to are actually super attractive (either in looks or personality) and everyone constantly hits on them.

- Dates don't equal happiness, you can be someone who goes on many dates with many people and still never find what you're looking for and constantly feel hopelessly alone.

Gender reassignment won't make things easier for you. It will make things substantially harder. If you think people have reservations about dating you now, they will have even more once they find out you used to be a gender they're not attracted to; this is because the majority of society is still made up of close-minded pricks. Plus the surgery is super expensive, like so much so that if you had that kind of money to throw around you would be attractive to women who like shiny things (it's shallow but at least its something). If you have that kind of money, just buy yourself a yacht instead. Bitchez love yachts.

Here are some things you can do to improve your situation:

- Stop viewing a woman as a potential match and start viewing her as a potential best friend. You should see the two of you as equal. You should expect both of you to put an equal amount of money, time, and affection into the relationship. You must first respect yourself before you can expect the respect of your woman.

- Get community. By this I mean that you need to stop looking for love and build a decent social circle. Try things like joining a co-sex amateur sports team, book club, or some other local group that you find interesting. This will help you to connect with women, understand them better, and can eventually form a safe base from which you can go from friends to lovers.

[Kinstrome]

You aren't going to qualify for a sex change unless you strongly feel like you are a woman in a man's body.

It doesn't sound like you have much self-confidence. Approaching women in a confident manner is important, but if it isn't backed up by actual self-esteem it isn't going to take you anywhere. When you talk to people on the internet about this kind of problem it really suggests a self-esteem problem. It's understandable to feel shitty after getting rejected so many times, but the fact that you think it would be easier as a woman and that life is unfair is going to shine through to girls you approach, and whether or not it's understandable it just isn't going to help you.

What kind of things do you do? Do you have a job? Do you have plans for the future? Do you play a sport (or run or work out)? Are you able to hold a conversation with different kinds of people? Do you have any "self-betterment" projects? (Learning a new language, starting a hobby, reading up on something you always wanted to know, joining a club) Even if you never mention these things they become evident to women you are around long enough. Women can detect insincerity.

Are you going out of your way to start talking to girls? The way you phrased it, it sounds like you are waiting for them to give you some sort of validation that they are interested.

Anyway, women don't have it perfect either. They have to reject men and feel like downers, they have to hope a man understands their subtleties, and being physically unattractive is more of a consequence for them, besides that men are considered to gain experience and look better as they age, whereas many people consider women to decline in appearance even just after their twenties... not to mention that women are both considered prudish if they withhold sex and sluts if they give it out too easily. Dating isn't easier for one gender or the other, and I think your impression that women have it easy is based on only those girls who are most successful in getting in happy relationships easily, without consideration for the girls who never get asked, or lose their virginity in a regrettable way over which they would have preferred just keeping it.

[toouglytobeloved]

I feel the EXACT same way, (I thought I was the only one) I hate being a guy, its extremely lonely and boring it hurts, plus the interests about girls I have (except for guys) suggests that I should of been a girl in the first place, and all the money that I could save if I didn't have to buy adult mags and videos, its got to be amazing to be a girl and have a life being beautiful and happy all the time ... Sorry I'm rambling

if a sex change wasn't based on surgery and more based on altering your genome somehow to actually be female as if you were born female all along I would do it in a heartbeat, or magic like say with a genie or magic plant etc

[canuckfarmgirl]

RabbitHeart said it all... that kind of attitude clings to a person. And makes nobody want to be around them. You don't sound like you're happy with life in general. Finding a partner is about them being a great addition to your already-awesome life.

You really think its that much easier being a girl? Sure, there's periods and childbirth, the biology stuff. What about the fact that we constantly have to be safe, we're more likely to get assaulted, used and abused. We won't get paid the same as a man, no matter how good we are at our jobs. We often have to pick between having a career and having a family. If we love certain things and want a job in that type of field, we have to spend more than half of our time proving ourselves and showing that we do know what we're talking about all because it's a "man's job." I don't ask my male nurse if he actually passed his exams or cheated; but every day, some idiot is asking me if I know how to run the machinery I've been running most of my life. We're expected to know how to cook, clean and keep a house all while working at least 40 hours a week and raising 2 children. And if we're single, we get to constantly think, is he with me for sex or does he really actually love me. And don't even get me started on finding a date, you weren't the only one that was alone on Valentine's Day. If I wanted to get sex, not an issue, not hard to get, guys are really easy that way. But if I want a boyfriend and eventually a husband? It's like finding a needle in a haystack. Looks don't matter, connection and chemistry does.

Life isn't easy for anyone. It has nothing to with gender. Only you can change your life. With that attitude, no girl is going to come near you.

[MissConfused93]

Why should anyone "settle" first last or otherwise?

You don't find the person who's going to make you happy by settling.

Women do try fucking hard to get noticed. Do you have a clue how long we spend obsessing over our appearance to get men to notice us?

You need to stop wallowing in self pity and get a job at bare minimum and make sure you're happy to get women to start paying attention to you. No one wants to date a fixer upper mental problem.

Your gender isn't the issue. Your personality and thoughts are.

Who would want to date you when it's so plainly obvious that you hold hatred towards yourself and the opposite sex?

Grow up.

[ironeddie]

Maybe it's because of your pity parties and a anger towards women that you can't get a date. They can sense that stuff a mile away and will avoid you like the plague.

Unless you have felt like a woman in a mans body for a very long time, a sex change won't help you. Putting a fresh coat of paint on your house doesn't mean it's new.

:-)

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

QA, Why don't you go here

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=1fouvwilGWc

If you do you'll become much more confident in yourself & you won't be able to keep the laddies off ya! (;

[superguy1]

Stop the complaining and take action , like a man. Expand your knowledge about dating and women , here is a start - Girlschase.com , book - The Natural by Richard la Ruina etc. You have work to do .

[Lorelei65]

We women have it far easier. All we need do is wear a short dress, go to the par, mall or grocery and men will hit on us. Just that it is seldom the type we want. You men have to beg and it is pathetic.

[jpinka]

i want a penis so I can pee in public when needed, want to trade?

[yawst]

It's not that simple man. Women have a lot of things difficult for them. Is having to work fora relationship really such a big problem compared to other problems in life? No I don't think so

[moviedude714]

I have for a while but unfortuneately being in this feeling of down is not gonna help anything