Boys Shouldn't Cry And Real Men Don't Cry is the gender stereotypical view of the stoic male.The toxic patriarchal society has instilled this belief into ALL males. They are instructed from a young age that boys who cry are weak.A man is strong, they are told, and emotions are weak. At all costs never ever show, even feel, emotions. Throughout their day to day consumption of media and their social interactions ,whether it's their parents, peers, playground games , teachers, or television they are told - real men don't cry. Toughen up.Man up.Be a big boy. Be a real man. Quit being such a pxssy, or mangina. They are made to feel shameful, weak and inadequate for feelings of sadness and pain.They fear being mocked by their friends and family instead of being supported.So they learn from childhood to suppress their emotions to hide their feelings. As they grow into adulthood suppressing their emotions takes hiding their emotions to another level. They start to repress their emotions , which means that they have taken uncomfortable feelings and emotions , and hidden them in their unconscious to the extent they are no longer aware they have them at all
Loneliness does not come from having no one around you .It comes form being unable to communicate your feelings and emotions- the things that are important to you
Suppression refers to the act of consciously suppressing your feelings,emotions , thoughts, desires and wants. This means that a person is aware that a particular feeling, thought, or emotion has made way and they are making a deliberate effort to not think about it or feel it. We all suppress or hide our emotions from time to time, but persistently suppressing our emotions is ineffective , and dangerous to our psychological state , because holding back an emotion,for example ,anger- that feeling usually returns with rage and vengeance. Being private with how you feel is different than the issue of suffering repressed emotions. Repression is a subconscious act. It means not acknowledging or acting upon your feelings,emotions , and thoughts. So much so, that you deny their very existence. You unconsciously forget an experience ,incident ,or how to feel . The subconscious mind will block these impulses because they are viewed as potentially harmful and disruptive to your psychological well-being, stability, and self-image.
Any type of relationships is meaningless if you can't actively express your genuine emotions without feeling ashamed
This suppression and repression of emotions and feelings causes untold and unnecessary suffering for millions of men across the world .It can hold them back in all aspects of their lives . It means that they constantly miss out on what they truly want from life. Relationships and friendships are far shallower and less meaningful,which can lead to isolation and loneliness. Emotions are a vital tool for decision-making ,and help us communicate and form stronger friendships and relationships. Ignoring feelings and emotions can lead to anxiety and depression, both of which can have a detrimental affect on a person's physical health,and emotional & mental state. It can also lead to addictive behaviours , and in some cases suicide,because men are not getting treated for mental illnesses ,and psychosomatic symptoms caused by repressed/suppressed emotions and feelings.There’s no way to tell when someone is suffering in silence,so it makes it more difficult to get and give emotional support
The Healing Property of Tears
Tears are produced in response to that strong emotion you experience from pleasure, stress,anger, sadness , loss, suffering and physical pain.So when you cry, it's a signal you need to address something.It is the body’s (both male and female) way of signifying that something is wrong.Tears are controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system, which is triggered by emotion. The Parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system controls the lacrimal glands. When the lacrimal gland is stimulated it produces tears.Emotional tears have many special health benefits. Tears contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. It helps to emotionally clear sadness and stress by releasing feelings,which in turn can elevate your mood.Emotional tears also contain a natural painkiller, called leucine enkephalin – this is the reason why you often feel better after a good cry. The act of crying can also lower a person’s manganese level - high manganese levels can lead to a variety of psychiatric and motor disturbances. Including anxiety, nervousness and irritability. Crying is a way for the body to release toxins from the body.When humans get stressed there is an increase in ACTH ( adrenocorticotropic hormone) Over time as this builds it leads to more stress ,that demands to be released.It either comes out in its healthy form as tears, or if suppressed can cause a number of physical symptoms to arise known clinically as Somatoform disorder (psychological/relational issues that manifest themselves as physical symptoms).Crying is also essential to resolve grief. Tears help us process the loss -whether it is the loss of a loved one in death,or the sense of you feel after a relationship comes to an end.Emotional tears are a physical detoxification.It helps to heal your heart ,so you can keep living with an open heart.
Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on. Sometimes a good cry is all you need to release all the hurt and pain you have built up inside
Of course, there are other reasons why men don’t cry as often as women –High levels of testosterone affect parts of the brain linked with emotion .Testosterone can impair emotion, so it can take longer to identify emotions which reduces the likelihood or even ability to cry.Scientists and doctors claim that when women go through hormonal therapy to have more testosterone during their transition to become men,they end up crying a lot less than they did before . Similarly, when men have surgery and hormone therapy to become women, they often end up crying a lot more. The effects of testosterone can also be dependent on a person's individual body chemistry and personality makeup.
Regardless of our backgrounds whether it is race, gender,sexual orientation, age, religion ,ethnicity, education or political stances, we are all HUMAN. We ALL have pain, suffering, vulnerabilities,hopes, dreams, plans, goals, failures, weaknesses, objectives, beliefs, feelings, emotions,needs, and desires.Men feel emotion just as much as women, sometimes more strongly, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to expectations put on them by society.The damage inflicted by this societal idea is incalculable. The repressed pain ,hurt and fear that no one must know about ,forces men to put on a tough exterior. This Hyper-masculinity hurts boys as they are developing and growing up. Society ,and parents need to help boys from a young age to feel included and curious about their feelings, not shame them ,or make them feel badly about their feelings and emotions. It's vital to encourage boys to admit to any feeling and emotions outside of the narrow range of feelings and emotions acceptable for a man.
Displaying emotions prove a man is a human being, instead of an unstoppable ,unbreakable, strong robot.It shouldn't be necessary to stop being a person in order to be a man.Crying doesn't compromise a man's masculinity.
Allow yourself to really feel your feelings. It's okay to bear your soul ,break down and cry.Because through that breakdown comes your breakthrough