Great, My Dad is Sexist!

Never wear shorts

Dad thinks that will attract unnecessary attention of random men in public. Apparently... it would be my fault if I were to get raped for wearing "sexy" clothes, not excluding bikinis and singlets etc. (Err hello grown ass boy, this isn't Saudi Arabia) Worse still, I should never wear shorts at home as well. Even if it means the weather is tremendously hot and humid. Even if it means the only men at home are my father and brother. Oh wait.. something's not adding up.

Are they gonna get a boner or something? Gosh, cut out the crap.

Learn to cook

Time and time again, Dad tells me that I'm useless as a woman for not having learnt how to cook the complicated dishes. According to him, all women should COOK, COOK, COOK. I'm expected to cook shit while my brother - um, the sweet precious darling privileged prince - gets the golden treatment and never gets the occasional nag (hell, he doesn't even know how to cook noodles). At least thank God that fucker knows how to fry or boil eggs.

Oh and trust me when I say this, I've literally never ever seen my tyrannical dad cook. Oh my.

Ps: Let's just pretend Kermit in the image above's my dad, alrighty?

Whore for staying out late

Poor mommy went out for a farewell party celebration one time with her girlfriends. She rarely comes home late at night. That was the only time she did and she definitely had a legitimate reason for doing so. It wasn't like she was out clubbing or sketchy shit like that.

Yet, as soon as she came home... guess fucking what?

All hell broke loose.

YOU WOMEN SHOULD NEVER THINK OF STAYING OUT LATE!

FUCKING WHORES!

I will slap you

If my mom speaks up for herself, Dad takes it as though she's trying to "dominate" him. He hates it and so threatens to slap her and hit her hard all over her body like other men in my community do to their wives. Yes, I live in a fucked up community. He likes being the boss and apparently he's always right as a man. Great!

If I speak up for myself when I feel like I'm being unfairly treated by him, I get the prestigious recognition... of well, being yelled at maliciously. Ouch, my poor baby ego.

Even for tiny matters. Today for instance, my lovely Dad threatened to slap me repeatedly in front of a stranger for literally just about nothing. Well what else can I say? It felt fucking amazing as the stranger was able to watch a dramatic, award winning performance of me weeping away before his eyes. I could win an Oscar's, damn.

Delete him

This controlling bozo can talk to a bunch of girls on Facebook while he orders my mom to delete an old male classmate of hers. God knows how many girls he has flat out flirted with in real life, right before my eyes and mom's. Ah, the horror. The cringe. The "BRUH WHO TF ARE YOU? You ain't my dad no fucking more".

Waitresses, security guards, random girls at the airport, you name it. This dude never fails to amaze me.

Backstabber

If you meet my dad, he will probably seem like the nicest guy ever. Heck, you'd envy me. He's cheerful, sociable and dare I say, SWEET.

But don't be fooled, buddy. He's putting up a facade. If you want to sign up to be in my shoes for a day, go ahead. I can just guarantee you that you'll be stepping out of my house at the end of the day, heaving a huge sigh of relief and praying that you never come back again. For the life of me, this dude's bonkers.

Anyway, regarding the backstabbing part, he attacks many of my mom's friends behind the scenes.

For instance:

Did you see Katy drinking so much at the party last night? She's a slut. Her husband was there yet how dare she disrespect him? As a woman, she's not in the right to drink glasses of wine!

Ahem, while this asshole drinks so many bottles and cans of beer. Hypocrite. Or should I say... SEXIST.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your father's faults are obvious. There are reasons - explanations - for why he behaves as he does but that does not excuse his behavior. Obviously, you want to get out of his home as quickly as possible.

    When you get away from him, you will get some perspective on him as being a flawed human being who did not live up to your standards. And when you become a parent, you may not live up to your children's expectations. Judging him for his flaws is easy, but does it help you? It certainly gives you a sense of self-righteousness (and I am not saying that you don't deserve to feel that way) but how does that help you? Are you accomplishing anything other than keeping yourself upset even more?

    The most important thing you can learn from a parent like this is how not to behave. In this same manner, I learned much from my father, who was a scoundrel on his best of days. Been there, done that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Jesus where the fuck do you live where men behave like that? Saudi Arabia?

    And as for the cooking part everyone should know how to cook.

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Join the discussion

What Guys Said 61

  • It is of course never the woman's fault for being raped for wearing revealing clothing much the same way it is never the rich man's fault for being mugged and beaten when walking through the ghetto with all of his expensive clothes and trinkets on display.

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  • It doesn't sound like sexism, if your story is true, it sounds like he might have other emotional problems that he's not talking about.

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  • am21.akamaized.net/.../zuko-daddy-issues-gif.gif
    Your dad sucks but I don't know if you can call him a sexist.
    I've had issues with my own dad, he's an alcoholic and I've seen my fair of beating and abuse living with him, leather belts, curtain rods, vases, you name it. He'd call me a loser and tell me to 'man' up because I'd cry and then he'd beat me to make me stop crying, and then I had enough. See, the thing was I was living on his dime. His house, his rules. I swore that I'd never come depend on him for anything even if it meant that I died. I worked, I faced the abuse, ignored it and moved out. I'm independent, I'm responsible for my life, I gave up looking for his approval a long time ago and I certainly don't need it now. I get it, it hurts and it sucks but its your life, and you've got to change if you want to be in charge and you can't expect him to. Its just not gonna happen. Yeah, your dads an asshole but its up to you to live how you want, the way you want to and you alone are responsible for it. So before you generalize Saudi Arabia, you might wanna think that the change ought to begin with you.

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    • Agree with all except the Saudi Arabia part.

  • Well, that's deeply depressing.
    Do what i did and protect yourself (not physically retaliating but to minimize the damage, that is being done to you), isolate yourself, keep quiet until you are able to move out.
    Get a job asap and try to enroll into studies. I know it's difficult because I've been there.
    Try not to maintain contact with your abusive father.
    If anything try to contact the police and get him behind the bars for abusing you.
    This is survival.

    I'm not speaking with my family myself.

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    • Thank you very much buddy.

  • You might not want to agree with your daddy but he is very right in many respects:

    (1) If you go out wearing super short shorts, then yes you will indeed attract a ton of male attention (and not of the good kind). Decent guys will immediately disqualify you as relationship material and crappy guys will just want to hook up with you... next will come the obligatory "all guys use me" crap.

    (2) Everyone should learn to cook. But if a girl doesn't know how to cook, it makes her [to me at least] rather useless.

    (3) Not exactly fair - agreed.

    (4) Then why do women chase after dominant manhandlers? 100% her fault.

    (5) Not fair - agreed.

    (6) I don't agree with the part about calling her a slut but definitely agree that drunk girls are disgusting. I would gladly call out a man's drunk wife too. I also feel like you might be overdramatizing this example a bit.

    Nonetheless, you do live in a pretty fucked environment to say the least.

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    • "but if a girl doesn't know how to cook, it makes her [to me at least] rather useless" wtf?

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    • personality? a good heart? having a open mind? not being just another boring ass person who has a nice body and knows her way through the kitchen? no? just utilities and meat to beat in the bed? :c oh -qq each people with their own priorities, i... guess?

    • @skyholes Well I see what you're saying but there are many guys that can do fine without this. Moreover in many cases the things you mention come with steep costs such as the partner's constant need for attention, nagging, demands, etc. I'm just not the type of guy who cares about "a good heart" and an open mind.

  • Wow your dads a fucking arsehole my dad was like that but in the end karma caught up to him and he hung himself I'm just lucky we made peace before he commuted suicide means my sisters felt exactly the same 1 of my sisters even left and got in a physically mentally and emotionally abusive relationship to get away from him I think I know what you went through but before the end I had enough and we were close to fighting I'm glad my sister talked me out of it because he will get hiis comupense some day and hating him will only hurt you and when he does pass you will be kicking yourself if your not at peace

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    • My advice would be to leave get out of there away from him

    • It's kinda sad that he hung himself but I'm glad you guys are okay. That's a good advice though. Thank you.

  • The first one I kinda get, because your Dad, being a guy, knows what guys think when they see you wearing that--he might be thinking it himself--and he doesn't want to have those thoughts, and he doesn't want other guys to have those thoughts, and he wants you to be safe from rape, so he asks you to put more on.

    Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that women should be able to wear whatever they want. But I also understand that rapes happen sometimes, and if I cared about a girl deeply, I would not want her to get raped. There's the ideal, and then there's reality.

    On the second point, I don't care if you're a guy or a girl, you should learn to cook. Too many boys can't feed themselves if their parents are out for the night, and that's sad. Gender equality on this point isn't you refusing to learn how to cook, because that's harmful to you; gender equality would mean making men and women, including you, cook for yourselves.

    Points three, four, five, six: yeah, he's abusive towards your mother. That sucks.

    He's your legal guardian at this point in your life. Just tolerate it, and wait until you get to college.

    (You and your Mom should totally take a week-long trip someday and force your Dad and brother to cook for themselves, though. Something girly, like assisting a pregnant relative or something, so that he actually allows you two to leave.)

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    • I think women should continue wearing whatever they want but learn how to fight off attempted rapists. This might sound extreme but if women were trained to kill when necessary, rapists would either be too afraid to approach or they'd die trying. I think that's how it needs to be.

  • I wonder why he's grooming you to be a good little cook for some random man to come fuck and impregnate and marry. If I had a daughter I'd be trying to hide her from men lmao.

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  • Your "dad" is trying to teach you responsibility. I know women have no agency in western society but one day that will not be the case mk sweetheart. One day you might need to know how to change your own tire, defend your own life, raise your own child.

    Never wear shorts: Wear whatever you want kiddo, sexual predators LOVE the shorty shorts though.
    Learn to cook: I LOVE a useless permanent child of a woman, holy crap that is hot! Even BETTER if she eats out every day.
    Stay out as late as you want kiddo, if anything bad happens to you, sure it wasn't your fault, but Kelly over here is safe and sound in her bed... NOT on the 10 o'clock news.
    Slap him back. #FeminismRight?
    People with unequal expectations in a relationship, shouldn't be together, if they remain together one of them is okay with the inequality. Mom needs to grow a pair.
    Man... putting on a facade... lol!
    http://klyker.com/girls-before-after-makeup/

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    • Wow, so she's in an actual abuse house hold, and you blame the victims? What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you born a turd, or did that shit personality develop later on in life?

    • Let me reiterate,

      "I know women have no agency in western society..."

  • Yes your father has faults. We all do. Try to understand why, and feel compassion for, rather than waste your time with hate and spite.

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  • Yeah that is not a good place to grow up in - I am assuming you are fairly young , I will give harsh advice, come of age, leave and don't make the same mistake you mother did by marrying and staying with an asshole.

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  • If u r old enuf then leave and stay with ur friends and never return or u and ur mom just leave all at once and file reports... otherwise u will be living a miserable life

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  • Sexist or not, your dad's a controlling asshole.

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  • Sounds like he knows how guys think and doesn't like the idea that they think that about you or your mom.

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  • He's an idiot, be yourself and after you leave the home and can make your own money just don't bother with him, this kind of idiots shouldn't be respected by their daughters. Make him pay by not giving a fuck about him when you grow older, he will not understand why you do so because he is the product of an idiot society. Not his fault for being like that, but not yours either. Do what is best for YOU.

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  • He's kind of time-warped into the 1950s.

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  • This is an unfortunate thing where behavior is passed from father to son. Hopefully, your brother doesn't get to be this way when he gets married or have kids. Women are equal to men in all counts, especially Gods eyes.

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  • He wants to protect you from becoming a b*tch, sl*t, pornstar etc. like many Western girls. He's not sexist.

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  • dont be a little dick you have a good dad

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    • all this for good dad? lmaaaaaaao my dads a saint compared to this xDDDDDDD i feel for her

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    • I wasn't pretending to know how a man thinks... I could care less unless either I am in danger or my child is... and I was just saying again that this person had a horrible dad... Hitting the daughter for what she said above? hitting the wife? she can't talk to people but the husband can? double standards.. But Whatever I am done.

    • @xButterflyKisses87x i never mentioned slapping his wife nor his daughter so what she said has no correlation to what i said, she shared her story and i said what good dads do, obviously hitting her mom wasn't a good idea nad he shouldn't have done it, but going as far as saying this kid should be 100% free to do anything, anywhere at any time is just plain wrong, there must be rules, parents must be strict otherwise they kids will go loose and ruin their lives and reputation.

  • My grandmother loved cooking for us. Oh no that's sexist. She even told me a man shouldn't cook for a woman. Odd you women want me to pay for dates which is sexist according to your logic but if a man expect you to cook oh no that's bad. I agree with your dad, he knows better and I know better than you.
    Thank god I don't have any children.

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    • Hello boy, last time I checked I've never made my boyfriend pay for dates. We even had an argument because I wasn't letting him pay. You sound salty, buddy.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Honestly, I feel like this take might be a ploy to get people all riled up and angry. I mean, I'm no professional writer or anything but just based on how it's written from your point of view, it seems kind fake to me. Unless you come from A) a strict country where proper etiquette is important or B) you come from a religion with strict beliefs and all the above reflects poorly on that said religion. I find this take hard to believe, especially since I'm not sure where in America there'd be a whole community where the wives and kids get slap by the husband/father and how would the rest the community know that? This whole thing seems off to me somehow.

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  • My parents were both that way so I hear you girl. I was always forced to cook and clean while my brothers set and watch TV and my dad fed ideas of the perfect man who would only want me if I was a virgin who could cook clean and had no piercings and never wore provocative clothing of any kind. I was called a s*** for wearing a tank top and this is before I even hit puberty. anytime I would disagree with my parents about any issue it would end with a fight that lasted until 3 a. m. that ended with me sobbing uncontrollably. just get the f*** out as soon as you can you cannot change them. and get into therapy.

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    • I hope you're doing great now😊

  • Your dad is a blast from tha past.
    Ughhhh just reading this made me want to yell at him ! I feel bad that you have to go through that because really. His thoughts like that are so pointless and hypocritical! Ahhhh! *pulls my hair! I am so so sorry. -___- My dad wasn't too Bad but he was pretty sexist as well. Saying that I need to learn to cook and not my brothers. Also as a joke me and my brother said let's tell him we had sex with random people. So my brother goes and tells my dad he gives him a high five all happy. I did the same aaaaand my dad said NO! You're bad! You're a girl! XD what the fuck? Also he's a construction worker so he knows all kinds of handy shits both my brothers hate that shit XD and he tried making them learn about it because they "boys". Nope no success I on the other hand was Interested in learning because seemed pretty cool. Nope he said you're a girl ur suppose to be at home cleaning and cooking with your mom. -_____-. Luckily after many years he isn't like that AS much. He keeps it to himself and doesn't say shit. > : D

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  • A few things to say:
    1) Your post is really hard to believe because of the language you used. I really feel like he's not worse than the way you described because of the way you called him names, and you're not rational as well. Are you sure it's just not a strict dad?
    2) Yeah but many parts do really doing sexist especially how he treats your mother. If she's being abused so much then she better do something about it soon.
    3) It's nearly impossible to treat a boy and a girl in the same way. But yes, parents have to be fair and reasonable.
    4) What seems like a sexist act, may not always be a simple sexist act. Even I'm not allowed to go out alone without a car. Even if I do I bed to tell everything about where I'm going. I'm not allowed to go out late in the evening. My dad stopped me from playing volleyball at the age of 12. Both my parents are always telling me to dress modestly even at home. My mom always used to give me less food than my brother.

    But there is a good reason for all these above. The area where I live is very unsafe for girls and I've had bad cases of cat calling when I went out to play. Our neighbors used to complain. So my dad finally stopped me and admitted be to martial arts instead cause I can keep fit and it can be practiced indoors. Modest dressing is a part of my religion. My parents are teaching be that and I find nothing wrong with it. I AM a modest dresser now. And food, my brother is EXTREMELY SKINNY but I'm healthy weight so my mom wants my brother to gain weight that's why she give him to eat more. I talked to about about this saying that I don't feel justified and my fav foods are ignored. Now I'm given to eat as much add I want.

    I have faced sexism many times from other people. My grandma always neglected me and my sister but treated my brother so well for being a boy. It's just an example.

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    • I'm also not allowed to wear short clothes at home even on a hot day (I live in a super hot and humid place). But that's because in case people come in our house, I won't be unprepared.

  • Unfortunately my father is quite similar, minus him threatening to put his hands on my mother.. He tried forcing me to learn to cook to his standards "to find a man", he tried telling me to need to dress more conservative (I already dress conservative enough, I just wear clothes with my back out.), he told me I should choose a career making 40,000 so I don't threaten any man, (I just changed my major to Accounting lol), and he told me a woman doesn't get tattoos , I have a half sleeve.. He considers the things I do me "rebelling", however I consider it me just doing things I want to & not things others want me to do. I have a pretty strong personality, I wouldn't call myself dominant, but I certainly always speak up for myself & I will not allow any form of disrespect from anyone including my father... I've been considering moving out a lot lately, maybe that would help things.

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  • Where are you from?
    Your dad sounds like a lot of guys here too... But they're all older - or have old parents and have been raised like that...
    It's a matter of feeling insecure and emasculated by society. Obviously he has many issues with women having the same rights... or wanting to have the same rights.

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  • Your dad is an abusive tyrant, and him threatening to beat both you and your mother are enough to call the cops, get a restraining order, and have him locked up for domestic abuse. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this.

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    • Thank you so much.

    • Yup. Please get help asap! Your life is at stake

  • Well my dads an angel compared to yours. I agree with your father on some things though, like cooking and dressing modestly not just solely for the mens sake but yours as well.

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  • your first couple of points were not your dad being sexist just you being a spoilt 4th wave feminism brat. but the last couple ones were a bit bad for sure.

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  • Its sexism and regressive mentality combined with control issues and superiority complex
    I feel bad for you sweetie
    And with all genuine concern in the world, if you need a friend I'll always be by your side

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    • You are amazing, thank you! 😁

  • Sexist maybe, but tbh it sounds more like a slightly abusive relationship between your mom and and dad

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  • Everyone should know how to cook...
    And for the clothes he only want to protect you. I'm too not allowed to wear revealing clothes (short shorts / skirt, tank top, too tight clothing, legging without a long shirt, etc...).(they would say I'm a slut if not, worse case not allowing me to go out).
    This is just being protective, not sexist.

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  • Sure I'll switch places with you for a day hun if you can handle my family I'll take care of your dad the first time he raises a hand to me Ill brake his arm. I'm a girl but I'm tough as nails

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    • Ps I'd be playing doctor all day correcting his fucked up mind mostly because my grand ma was a shrink so I got good at getting in people's head

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    • You do you 😂

    • i think you would die if you had to deal with my family

  • Your dad and mine. Some people suck. Do I have to keep him in my life no. Should I harbor a grudge no. I moved on and took him out of my life. I have no time for shitty people

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  • Holy shit where do you live? Yeah your dad is awful. You and your mom are better off without him.

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  • From my life. No man can be as sexist as a woman many woman are cruel towards each others more than any man

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    • I agree. Men might be dangerous and violent, but women are most emotionally cruel. Especially because you think they should be on your side, but they're not.

  • Yeah that's a thing.

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  • Ooh look, another overly emotional spoiled feminist brat who goes batsh1t when dad doesn't want her to do something for her own good.

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  • Sorry to hear that

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  • Sounds kinda like my dad, hope you get away from them soon enough. Sorry, but something must be up with your mom for marrying and staying with someone like that.

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