Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

If you talk to ANY woman or girl you know she'll have at least a couple (to say the least) stories about sexual harassment that happened to her.

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

For those who say sexual harassment isn't that big of a deal - you've obviously never been sexually harassed, because if you have been you would know that it's a direct attack on your person.

Before I get into my own experiences with sexual harassment, I have to address the guys who are going to complain about how I didn't mentioned them being harassed. Guys: if you've been harassed I encourage you to write your own article about your experiences! You'll find an audience in me as well.

But this article is about women, their everyday experiences with sexual harassment and my own experiences throughout the years.

Whether you've been shouted obscene, sexually explicit content, been groped on the subway, been asked for sex in exchange for a job opportunity, it's all the same - sexual harassment.

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

Sexual harassment that women suffer from men is more often than not due to a crisis in masculinity and a thirst for some kind of power and a desire to feel superior, even if it is achieved with such crude and undignified behavior and, more often than we'd care to admit, explicit sexual assault.

Does it ONLY count if you've done it to many women or does it also count if you've done it to one women once? I think we can all agree the latter is correct!

First off, when it comes to my experiences, I've been quite lucky. Of quite a few of these disturbing instances, I've always somehow gotten out unscathed! And I am thankful every day for it!

One of the first stories I can recall is when I was little, going to elementary school, a man around 40 years old used to ride the bus whenever the school was in session (school buses don't exist in my country). He'd come behind little girls, me as well, and push himself against our backpacks and wouldn't let us leave the bus. I was lucky because one of the older couples on the bus took my hand and escorted me out of the bus before my stop. I remembered the man and knew how to avoid him ever since.

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

One of my next stories is a typical one, one almost all women can connect to and say "Me Too - I've experienced the same thing"...

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

Once, when I was going to work using public transportation I felt a hand touching my bum. Obviously, I though it was a mistake because of the crowded bus, but when the man pressed himself up against me and squeezed my bum, that's when I knew for SURE that was no mistake and I felt horrified!

After turning around I saw he must've been around 35. Looking at this man straight in the eyes, I realized he was grinning...and knew it was just another day, another woman's personal space and body violated.

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

One of the most recent instances happened just the other day around noon when I was walking to the store.

I was in the super market getting groceries. I was wheeling quite a heavy cart around hoping to get some tomatoes before they were all out of season when an old man approached me. He was wearing a tight pair of jeans and a blazer which was, quite frankly, meant for someone at least 30 years younger than he was. He asked me are the paper towels I got in my cart any good. I say yes, obviously... (why else would I get them) and I thought that would be that. He, however, took my response as an invitation to ask me personal questions and to comment on my looks - my face and my body. He said I looked beautiful and would I mind if he called me 'Beautiful'. I said that I very much would mind, that it's inappropriate and if he'll excuse me I have other errands to run. His old hand held on to my cart and wouldn't let me leave. I considered just leaving all of those things and just getting out of there, but I wasn't quite yet panicked enough, so I decided I might just reason with him to leave me alone. He asked me would I go for coffee with him or maybe a beer. I said I had a lot of work to do and couldn't, nor am I particularly interested either. He didn't look offended, he just kept pushing. He came closer to me and grabbed my arm squeezing it pretty tightly. I let go of the cart and ripped my hand from his, speedily walking away. He kept following me, so I though it best not to leave the super market but inform a worker there of the incident. The register was packed and I didn't see any other workers but the ones behind the cash registers, so I hurried there. I didn't want to look panicked so I didn't run. I just stood in line of the cash register between two people who were there hoping the old man couldn't see me. When I came up to the employee I warned him about the old man and the employee called one of the other workers of the store to check things out while the third employee escorted me out. I don't know what happened after that, but I know I'm not the first, nor the last woman on that old man's list...and I'm afraid not all women are as lucky as I.

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

If you're a feminist (in the true, egalitarian, sense of the word) you're more than aware of the little run of small cruelties and humiliations that women all experience! By Emma Thompson

I am 100% that 100% of women have experienced something like this in their lives. All of them have at least one story to tell, but more likely, the number of experiences vary, but they're never zero...

When will come a time when a woman can feel secure walking home from work at night? Not just at night, but at any time of day!? When will women be able to do all the things that they should feel free and safe to do no matter the time of day or the clothing they wear?

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

No, it really doesn't matter what your intentions were, no it really doesn't matter whether you were going for a laugh or you seriously just wanted to terrify the woman standing in front of you. No, it doesn't matter if you wanted to feel power over a person weaker than you, it doesn't matter if you had a bad day, it doesn't matter if you were harassed too when you were a child. There is no excuse for this behavior and it has to stop!

Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

I am, must admit, very vigilant in my everyday life and I strive to keep my eye on the kids on buses to speak out and intervene if something is happening that shouldn't be. I think the world would be a better place if we all did that for one another.Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed

The more women report these things, the more people get involved, the safer the world will be from sexual predators!

Silence in these instances won't help the bottom line, it'll promote the agony, promote the unhealthy behaviors. Turning a blind eye is a thoroughly harmful notion, your eyes and the eyes of all those around you should be wide open and their mouths ready to speak out!

The only way to beat this is by saying something - if you SEE something, SAY something!

LittleSally is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • While it is true that men are often the recipient of sexual harassment, I've noticed that the same dudes on here who are lightning quick to tell you women don't understand what it's like to be a man are the same ones who immediately dismiss what women say about what it's like to be a woman.

    Anyway, I've had an ex boss try to kiss me in a private meeting, and a former employee who repeatedly tried to get me to sleep with her even though I made it clear I wasn't interested and also I was married.

    My wife once had a coworker who "accidentally" touched her boobs too many times and a boss who gave her unsolicited shoulder rubs and even ran his fingers through her hair. She punched him in the face and got fired for it.

    A couple of years ago, I was at a conference party with a female colleague and she told me she had to go to the bathroom but there was a couple of guys from another company in the way who kept being handsy every time she got close to them. Another guy we work with and myself ended up escorting her to the bathroom and then back to her hotel.

    So, I have no problem believing that women have to deal with this on a regular basis.

    • Some of these guys seem to think that in order to prove it happens to guys too they have to disprove that it happens to women. Or at least not as much. You often see them state "Men are most often the victim of violent crime like muggings and murder etc" which is going totally off topic and derailing the conversation since other types of crime aren't even a part of the discussion. Men are sexually harassed too but these guys seem more concerned with trying to point out examples of sexism toward males than deal with the actual issue.

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    • @redeyemindtricks No - the next day, her ex-boss's supervisor gave her the job back, fired the guy and apologized. She said "no thanks" and went somewhere else.

    • hm, interesting, thanks.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Very good myTake. Unfortunately I am one of these unlucky women and many times I was afraid to say something... Now I am trying to work on my assertiveness and I promised myself I would never let someone humiliate me!


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What Guys Said 44

  • A very good take, I will say.

  • I love the title "being a women means being sexually harassed".

    Yes, I admit, I sexually harassed a woman. Yup, I am a pig as I gave in to her repeated sexual innuendos and eventually responded with a joke that was on the more racier side, without being vulgar.

    Well, it was all a trap as she simply wanted to get me to that point and then go berzerk on me for sexually harassing her, tell me how much of a scum I am and that "all this needs to stop".
    Some people are out of their mind.

  • This could have gone in many bad ways, and i am very sick of 'The girl that cried rape' blurring the lines between flirting, sexual harassment and rape.
    Luckily the examples in your take are very valid but its good to define what makes them valid hence my comment here.
    The trend i observe here is not that guys made a comment that made you feel uncomfortable which to me is a very blurry line, the valid trend i see here is that guys did not allow you the space to leave. Thats where the line is crossed in my opinion. An individual should have the rights over there own body and what you are allowed to do with it. Blocking that body from leaving an area or a conversation is not a right thing to do especially if you are trying to force your will on the person while you restrict them of leaving.

    I can see this as coming across very powerful and intimidating towards a girl for sure, and no girl should have to experience it. But lets never get catcalling be put on the same line as this. We don't want to make these actual harassment scenario's have less meaning.

    Thanks for writing the take from the right perspective :)

  • You were "lucky?" As if he was going to violently assault you or something. I think you're jumping the gun. I think it's more accurate to say you're unlucky to have gotten that far. This is not the norm, which is why you can even tell the story.

    "woman can feel secure walking home"
    Just women? Doesn't matter what men feel?
    Women are *demonstrably* safe walking home at night, sooo...
    They are safe no matter what they wear.

    Yes, it does matter what your intentions were it's called 'mens rea' *and* what you did, especially in the social landscape where you're trying to navigate a subjective realm where you want to get close to people but don't know how they're necessarily going to react to you.

    If there was a different woman in that store then maybe she would have liked the things he said and it all would have gone more positively, who knows. Not that criminal behaviour isn't a problem that should be addressed but your experiences are not authoritative and can't be applied to the whole of a population.

    If I'm walking down the street at night and a woman crosses the road because she's scared of me, then that Is *entirely* on her. It's not me that being scary, it's *her* that is making me scary.

    I've literally never done anything like sexual harassment or seen anyone else do it, so I don't know what more there is to say.

    • Uh no sorry that old man WAS being a creep. He grabbed her and followed her after she made it clear she wasn't interested. If you can't see the issue with this you should not date because you lack important social skills.

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    • Yet certain people like to act like sexual harassment is this incredibly rare phenomenon and that admitting it's not is about placing blame. You place blame on those who perpetrate these acts. If you aren't one of those perpetrators you have nothing to worry about. People like you act like women are running around blaming all men when most of us DON'T believe that. We just want to be taken seriously.

      My guy friend made a fake online profile pretending to be a woman. He got a lot of sexually explicit and harassing messages and sexual photos. He was shocked. He said "Yeah I've heard from chicks that this crap happens but I just figured you were exaggerating. I mean I would never do that."


      See there's the problem. You hear about an issue like this and you automatically think about yourself when it has nothing to do with you.

    • When we ignore and don't support each other and don't allow a platform for those to come forward... When stories like this are met with negative backlash.. then we are ALL to blame. Because we are not joined as a society.

  • That was a good read. I think the bottom line is this: Tackle the issue head on; report harassment, and if you witness it, step up and do something (like the couple on the bus).

    Personally, I remember being "sexually harassed" once when I was in college a long time ago. I got "catcalled" by a couple of college-aged girls while while they drove by while I was out jogging on afternoon. I thought it was funny (as in comedic haha funny). I of course would draw the line at that.

    However, on a more serious note, a lot of what was being mentioned here when sexual harassment becomes physical, it amounts to battery in a legal sense.

    Now for my brethren who have never been sexually harassed or at least don't think it's a big deal, think about this: How would you feel if a female loved one had a similar, or even worse experience that what was mentioned here? What if it was your friend, significant other, sister, mother, or daughter who gets harassed? What would you do? How would you feel?

    If you see someone being harassed or persecuted each of us has a moral obligation to intervene.

    As for my sisters, learn to defend yourselves. I don't mean exclusively physically. People who prey on others are bullies and when they pick on you it's because they perceive you as being weak. As men, we are conditioned by society to fight back, and I think that may be a deterrent for both men and women from sexually harassing men. It's like playing football with a small cactus; sure you can do it, but you will get hurt. One disadvantage is that men are significantly more victimized by violent crime than women, and I think that is because we are considered a more "dangerous" target that require more violence to be subdued.

    Of course physical confrontation may be difficult if someone with no physical self defense training is being sexually harassed by someone who is much bigger and stronger.

    I can't say for certain how big a problem this following thought is, but I feel that society tends to defend victims who are sexually harassed by men, but not so much when the perpetrator is a woman. From a legal standpoint, both are equally liable, but there is a double standard in most societies in my personal opinion.

  • All of the harassment stories or instances that you point out are by old men or a perve child molester so really this is just about the dregs and the undesirable to you that are subhuman. I am a guy that women tend to pursue and maybe I should start whining and screaming about harassment and write a damn take about it but nobody would read it because of the reverse sexisim. But you don’t have to concern yourself with someone like me because I avoid women and look the other way and a few more stories like this maybe shun them off if the approach me and ask me out. And then we hear “Where have all the good men gone?”… “how come men don’t approach women anymore?”…”is it just me or do men not ask women out anymore?”. Woman up! Everyone has had some creepy ass experiences or mortal enemy people stories to tell. Don’t even get me started on being raped/molested by a woman at 13, having my hs teacher hit on me at 16, some old horrid bitch think she was going to pick me up and start grabbing me, and the stories go on. Whatever happened to real women that could handle real life?

  • It is only harrassment when he is ugly. Sad truth.

    Women WANT exactly this behaviour. But please only from attractive men.

    Fucking hyprcrites.

    • I don't care how attractive some guy supposedly is. If he tries to touch me I would hit him.

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    • @lumos what does worrying about it now do for you?

    • What are you lacking right this very second?

  • "Guys: if you've been harassed I encourage you to write your own article about your experiences!" I'm working on a response give me a few days.

  • Very well written! And what you said is true, and it is unfair to women.

    • Yea no it's actually quite false and stereotypical. With rare exceptions women you talk to typically haven't been harassed. And ofcourse the typical sexist propaganda that all men are harassers, and women should be believed with no proof is quite literally trying to turn the justice system into a modern day witch hunt.

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    • @genuinlysensitive No it's not rare. Almost every female I've known has been harassed in some way and they have stories of other girlfriends that were harasseed. And no I don't know EVERY female on this earth but given what I do know I highly doubt it's 'rare'. Also if it was rare the statistics would be much lower. Even if they are only an estimate since the majority don't report sexual harassment. Also a lot of women either won't admit to being harassed or they sweep things under the rug because that's easier. Sometimes they are unsure if it even was harassment. Like a date gets aggressive and really pushes for sex even when she protests but she gives in and thinks "Well it was a bit too soon but we probably would have done it eventually so it's ok" This has happened to a lot of women I know and most of them do not call it assault. In our society we see sexual assault as someone jumping out from behind the bushes and beating us half to death. Or by some guy we aren't interested in.

    • @genuinlysensitive And no offense but you aren't a woman (just like I'm not a man so I don't pretend to know stuff I don't know) so for one you haven't experienced stuff a lot of women go through. You also aren't in on the girl talk. You don't hear the things we talk about in private.

  • While the social convention is that the male is supposed to make the approach, this sort of thing will be unavoidable.
    Some men will be scumbags.
    Some men will be socially inept and leave women feeling harassed, when that was not their intention.
    I plead not guilty.
    During the past 16 years I have approached one woman, who rejected me. I walked away.

  • Alright all men are evil and women are victims. Got it.

    • I don't know how you came to that conclusion from that respectful my take that was simply bringing awareness towards victims of sexual assault.

    • If you felt like she thinks all men are evil just for talking about her experiences then maybe you should do some self-reflecting and wonder why you're projecting a mindset like that onto her. If this shit doesn't apply to you and you haven't sexually harassed someone there's no reason for you to feel so offended.

  • Here's something to burst your bubble...
    "In 2008, it was estimated 216,000 inmates were sexually assaulted while serving time, according to the Department of Justice figures. "

    The National Crime Victimization Survey turned up a remarkable statistic. In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men.

    According to Rainn, there are 213,000 victims of sexual assault in the US every year. More than 9/10ths of those victims are women and girls. The numbers Rainn uses come from the DOJ National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS). The NCVS, though, is clear that its methodology for gathering sexual assault stats is pretty limited, and probably doesn't present a 100% accurate picture of what victims experience.

    To top this off here's a nice ABC news article,

    Now obviously, rape is terrible and sexual harassment is terrible. To say, "Being a Woman Means Being Sexually Harassed" is just as ignorant as saying Being a Man Means Being Sexual Predators" This isn't the Middle East. Now have a good day Madam!

  • "When will come a time when a woman can feel secure walking home from work at night? Not just at night, but at any time of day? When will women be able to do all the things that they should feel free and safe to do no matter the time of day or the clothing they wear?" - When will come a time when anyone can feel secure walking home, without fear of getting robbed or getting hit by a drunk driver? When will we ALL be free to do all the things that we should feel free and safe to do, no matter the time of day, or the clothing they wear, or which opinions we have?
    You need to realize we live in a dangerous world and stop being angry at it and adapt. Learn how to protect yourself, you can't expect beasts to behave like men, but you can learn how to defend yourself and others... Learn self defense, also tasers and pepper sprays are quite effective, but only if you're not afraid to actually use them, and if you really learn how to use them... But the best is naturally if you have someone stronger with you who can protect you...

    • I only disliked for the last line, it was unnecessary and negated the point you seemed to be making!

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    • Well frankly most women don't have the ability to have a "personal bodyguard" with them at all times. So it's really just a useless comment that continues to enforce the belief that women are helpless, which turns women away from adapting. 🤷‍♀️

    • @ThatonehO Well if you don', you could try to find them :D

  • "If you talk to ANY woman or girl you know she'll have at least a couple (to say the least) stories about sexual harassment that happened to her."

    This is true of every single man I have ever talked to about this topic as well. I my self have been sexually harassed many times by women, can't even count how many.

    So stop being ignorant, this IS NOT! a gender issue so don't try and make it one.

    • She's not. Did no one read her first paragraph? She addresses that this can happen to men too.

    • @Nate1941 reading comprehension skills: 0.

    • LOL, that is a very astute observation about the article Jager66.

      The whole thing is one giant man hating Feminist narrative about sexual harassment, putting a tiny bullshit disclaimer doesn't change a thing.

      Reading comprehension of you two crtics: 0/10

  • Check out the images I have attached to this post. They are taken from "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. I believe they are very relevant to this discussion.

    • *Right-click and then select "Open Image in a New Tab"

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    • "So do not use the pain-body to give you an identity. Use it for enlightenment instead. Transmute it into consciousness. One of the best times for this is during menses. I believe that in the years to come, many women will enter the fully conscious state during that time. Usually, it is a time of unconsciousness for many women, as they are taken over by the collective female pain-body. Once you have reached a certain level of consciousness, however, you can reverse this, so instead of becoming unconscious you become more conscious."

      "When you know that the menstrual flow is approaching, before you feel the first signs of what is commonly called premenstrual tension, the awakening of the collective female pain-body, become very alert and inhabit your body as fully as possible. When the first sign appears, you need to be alert enough to "catch" it before it takes you over."

    • "For example, the first sign may be a sudden, strong irritation or a flash of anger, or it may be a purely physical symptom. Whatever it is, catch it before it can take over your thinking or behavior. This simply means putting the spotlight of your attention on it. If it is an emotion, feel the strong energy charge behind it. Know that it is the pain-body. At the same time, be the knowing; that is to say, be aware of your conscious presence and feel its power. Any emotion that you take your presence into will quickly subside and become transmuted. If it is a purely physical symptom, the attention that you give it will prevent it from turning into an emotion or a thought. Then continue to be alert and wait for the next sign of the pain-body. When it appears, catch it again in the same way as before."

      "Remember: Do not let the pain-body use your mind and take over your thinking. Watch it. Feel its energy directly, inside your body. As you know, full attention means full acceptance."

  • So when a woman sexually harasses me, I'm a woman too?

  • So I'm not allowed to come up and talk to you at a supermarket?

    But... in the same breath, women and society say it's the mans job to take initiative and act first. Hmm... It conflicts. To me a supermarket would be an ideal place to talk. People around, safe etc.

    Priorities, looks and checklists are all modern day women think of I guess.

    • Did you read any of her encounters? None of them were simply people talking to her, they are all very clearly instances of sexual harassment. She never says that there is anything wrong with someone talking to her at a supermarket. What is wrong is when she told that guy that he was being inappropriate but instead of stopping the dude just grabbed onto her cart and wouldn't let her leave. It boggles my mind that this doesn't register to you as creepy.

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    • @ThatonehO Okay, since you asked. A good time to self reflect on your struggles and trials is at your age. When you are just a little older and have more life experience I suspect you will discover (as most people do) that the people who talk excessively about their personal struggles and accuse virtually everyone they meet of mistreating them (as in this article) are almost always the abusers themselves and are not looking for solutions but victims and targets. It's a shock revelation but most people discover it eventually and it's almost a right of passage. When I was 22 I had a friend who helped me recognize my own boundaries because I had given so much of my life to a person who believed me to be an extension of him. Everything anyone did by their own free will was criticized and reprimanded as selfish by this person. I began to disentangle from the control mechanisms placed on me and realize how certain personality types operate in this world and I became freer because of it.

    • @ThatonehO That same year a woman I had never met before called me up anonymously to tell me not to text girls. She also accused me of stalking her. I got her fired from her job by threatening the company with a lawsuit directly based on her actions. Apparently she did it to a lot of people.

      So the moral of the story is that people who feel perpetually victimized, will feel victimized no matter how good their circumstances are and are actually abusing others. Hypersensitive people are nasty bitches who just want to stir drama and create completely fabricated situations.

  • wow you had pretty good self victimization techniques. where did you learn this?

    "If you're a feminist (in the true, egalitarian, sense of the word)" feminism isn´t "egalitarian" fucking hell. when will people stop claiming this. that´s like saying i´m a vegan that eats meat.

    • Intersectional feminism. Freakin' google it.

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    • No opinion

  • When you ignore what women do and say to men, it's easy to claim that women are victims.

    • She addresses that harassment happens to men too in her first paragraph.

    • @Nate1941 Yes I am aware but the insinuation is that it happens to "most" women when in actuality it happens equally to men and women but men are usually ignored or don't see it as harassment so it gets seen as mostly a women issue.

      for example "Hi miss" is NOT harassment, but most feminist idiots believe it is.

    • I do agree with this. This is as much a men and boys issue as it is a women's. It is too bad that society laughs when this happens to men. However, the reason that she geared this article towards women is because she herself is a women. She encouraged men who have had similar experiences to write a mytake, if they feel comfortable doing that.

      Lastly, no, "hi miss" is certainly not harassment. However, the stories she shares in this article are.

  • Maybe this will help. I've seen a lot of people on here putting MGTOW down but MGTOW is changing those situations by eliminating such possibilities through steering men away from women altogether and some of the reasons do include for example a screen shot that was shared just the other day. In this screen shot there was a couple of comments made between to girls. The first girl, she told about a unattractive guy approaching her to ask her out. In her response to him she was very rude to him according to her and she was referring to him as sexually harassing her by asking her out. And then the other she replied with her advice to the first girl by suggesting she should have called the police on the guy for asking her out. The girls pictures were real and their comment were real. Bottom line is you probably won't have to worry about your situation much longer because MGTOW is pretty much on fire right now growing rapid rate each and every day and it includes teens all the way up to men in their 70's and so on. I don't know, maybe that's a bit good news for you or encouraging news. And yes I am also MGTOW by default because I haven't as much as touched anyone in over 30 years.

    • That doesn't really help anything because sexual predators will still be out there. Sexual predators often already have relationships or are married. The situation you are talking about is totally different from ACTUAL sexual harassment and assault. A guy asking a chick out isn't harassment. Doesn't matter how creeped out she is. Him groping her or following her or attacking her after she rejects him is. The only real issue that separating men and women is going to fix is that people who shouldn't be in relationships will learn how to hopefully be happy alone. But the thing is no matter how YOU feel most people don't want to be alone. It's unnatural. Men and women were made to compliment each other, not to compete.

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    • @Nyx_85 LOL no problem!

    • That was awkward 😂

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What Girls Said 15

  • Ehem. I am a girl, and I do not have any stories about sexual harassment to tell lol. Neither me nor my bestfriend do. Does that mean that we are less female in your opinion? Or are most of the girls who are saying this already taking a simple hello from a guy as a sexual harassment?

    • It just means you have not experienced it. Do you ever feel warier in social situations, on the subway train, at night walking down a lonely city street? That would be the collective female pain-body that has accumulated over the centuries. Think about it. Men have been abusing and raping women since the dawn of time. HOWEVER, is it always better to not identify with your emotions and pain, but to watch them, expose them, and to be present at all times and take things as they come. Live in the now rather than the collective female past.

    • @freakyzeaky well, there are also females which had raped or abused men so what? Are we all supposed to be afraid of the other gender and ran away screeming every time we see someone from it?
      I dont say that it isn't a horrible experience to get raped or abused, it sure is and people who suffered from it need help and time to get over it. But in my opinion it is not the reason to assume everyone to be a rapist and every contact to be sexual harassment...

    • Oh, I agree completely. All I am saying is that this pain has been accumulating over millennia. To let go of this inherited past and live in the moment is what I think all people, both men, and women, should strive for.

      Being aware is fine, but making it into your identity like some feminists do? That is far from healthy.

  • The best thing women can do is take some sort of self defense class and if you you have children may it be boys or girls to make it a family thing.

    Unfortunately there will always be men that will sexually harass or abuse women and there is no way of stopping this. It was only a few days ago I was in my office and part of my job requires me to wear protective clothing that makes me look different and a male co-worker calls over "I didn't recognise you with all your clothes on" then wolf whistled. This was a loud incident and everyone in the office could hear him. I came back with a quirky comeback but yes this is a form of sexual harassment.

    In the old days I owned a public house and there was a "grab" corridor where regular customers all men would try grab any woman as they walked past and in once incident I hit a 70 year old man grabbing my bum as I walked past it was reflex and yes he did deserve it!

    You can't change the people in the world around you, you can only modify yourself

  • well written take. You're very brave for writing this, because most people here don't like these kind of topics.
    The most sad part is, because of these incidents, women try to protect themselves by never walking alone in the dark, not-crowdy places, not trusting strangers, never travel alone, not looking at people in public, not laughing out loud or attracting too much attention to yourself, cover yourself up with clothing and take self-defense classes to protect yourself. These all add up to some sort of isolation and make the world smaller.
    I read an article about this recently and a professor in sexuality at the AMC says that the judgement of men towards other men is more important than the judgement from women to men. So I think it's important that men can also send a message with 'it's not cool to catcall'.

    Disclaimer for my opinion: I'm not saying men never experience this. I'm not saying men are all monsters. I'm not saying that the importancy of judgement from men to men is sexist and I'm not saying that men never have to adjust themselves in public to protect themselves either.

    If you want to give your own story, even as a male. Write your own take, tag me in it and I will gladly read it and give my opinion on it.

    • Oh shoot..
      And silly me here thought, men as young as myself putting their life on the line and going out to protect one's country is brave.
      But i guess writing "MyTakes" on a website called "GirlsAskGuys" is considered brave these days.
      How stupid of me.

    • @HeAintMe that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I don't care what you think is brave or not.

    • Of course you don't.
      You're ignorant.

  • some guys can be creeps but most of the time it takes to say just a few nos and they will stop bothering you, not that much of a deal. And guys can experience it too you know, don't make it look like we are poor women who are the only ones who suffer

  • u painted with a too black brush.. its not that bad at all.

    • I agree, but this is relative to specific societal contexts. It may be more of a problem in one country, city, or region due to local cultural and socioeconomic factors.

      An extreme example would be the rape epidemic in the regions in the Democratic Republic of Congo where a civil war is raging on. So, relatively speaking, you're right, it's not really that bad, but it still is bad.

    • @NineBreaker yeah... but generaly.. not bad.. maybe in arab countrs.. Europe is ok

    • Europe is not ok. i live in one of the safest countries in the world yet I get sexually harassed nearly every time I go out in the evening.

  • It happen it few time with this one guy “it was accident “ three time isn’t a accident. I was At the gym when a guy grabbed me on the thigh I ended kicking him. Cause how we look to them “ were the free market”.

  • Where I live, this kinda thing just doesn't happen. I've had guys flirt with me and ask me out, sure, but the only time I had a guy touch my boobs or butt on purpose was a guy that was trying to pick a fight with me. The rest of the time was just being run into or pushed into.
    The times that guys do flirt with me I just respond with, 'Sorry, I'm a lesbian.' If they don't believe me, I show them my sketchbook, where I have many draws of my girlfriend and me kissing her as well as just generally girls kissing, hugging, etc.

    (I don't count perverted comments and flirting as sexual harassment.)

  • As I cannot personally say I have fell victim to this kind of stuff I know full well the hurt and pain is causes as my mother has been sexually harassed MANY times for as long as I can remember and I always make it clear I won't take shit from anyone as to give respect to my mother and not fall victim to what she did and still does suffer (although not much anymore thankfully)

  • #MeToo
    i was just raped 5 days ago by a friend who i knew over 7 years... This world can be so horrible and cruel and there's so fucked up people out there. Now i've lost my trust pretty much for everyone who is a male and a friend of mine. Not gonna leave myself in their company if there's nobody else i know i can trust since you can't even trust your own friends anymore either... and this is not the only sexual harassment i've experienced, there's too many of them...

  • I've never dealt with sexual harassment. There have been times when guys would compliment me, but it has always been very respectful.

  • Very good Mytake, Over the years I've had two jobs that I was sexually harassed and left one job because of it.

  • When you were groped on the public transportation, what did you say/do?

  • Way tf too much to read. I've never been in that situation before.

  • right but men are also being harrassed

  • Thank you for posting this.❤️


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