Let's Be Real About Rape... (*warning*)

[888_sarcastic]

Rape, lots of people cringe at that word or get mad at the person using it so lightly. Well first lets straighten a few key facts. If you disagree feel free to leave.

Rape is not asked for.

It's not a joke.

it happens to both genders.

not all people get PTSD or mental problems because of it.

It's not a small problem.

It happens more then reported.

If a guy tells someone he's been raped how do people react? "liar" "that's not funny" "that only happens to girls" "oh really was it fun" not many people are supportive to the person. It's a real problem and it happens often but people are afraid to say anything.

"DON’T assume the person is lying about it. Telling someone you were raped to get attention or privilege is like showing people a handful of your own poop in order to get to the front of the bathroom line. The number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"

It's not just opposite gender who rape the person it can be same gender. Homosexual rape is a real thing.

Have you ever met a rape victim? Did they openly go "hey i was raped"? I doubt it. (Sorry I shouldn't say victim, I mean survivor.) Sexual assaults can be done to both genders, it doesn't matter the person, it could be the most popular guy/girl in school or the loner. It just happens, people do so much to stop it and so much to raise awareness but what does it get? It gets people saying "they asked for it" "they wanted it" "fakers" "who cares". Even if it doesn't effect you personally, don't you still care? Don't you care that out in the world someone is going through hell, what if it's your neighbor, that short girl in class, the cubi? How do you know that the one who gave birth to you wasn't sexually assaulted at some point? Don't you care about that?

I have a relative who was raped as a kid, he's not depressed, he's not alone, he doesn't have PTSD He's doing ok. Some people aren't that lucky. Some people can't look anyone in the eye, some people can't fall asleep peacefully.

This take is not to cause problems or to just point out a little fact. It's to tell you exactly how it is, whether or not you agree.

If you have any questions fell free to ask ill do my best to answer.

[UsernamePerson]

I wish this was the popular opinion.

[UsernamePerson]

I disagree with some of this, but it's the most reasonable post on rape I've seen in a while.

[gobsmacked3]

The interesting part for I in reading this is your opening ;line;

'Rape, lots of people cringe at that word or get mad at the person using it so lightly.'

They rightly should for it is the cruellest act of all. One that is the definition of wrong. Growing up, I was told very clearly that one can be forgiven for anything in life aside for two things;

Being a NONCE or Rapist- with either gloves come off and backs are turned on you.

The other point in you attaching 'cringe' to it is the fact that so many throw it around willy-nilly. Which diminishes the gravity of the act. As well as showing little respect to the real victims. You see it used in sentences in open speech like on Social Media;

' The batsman was raped by the pitching...' etc etc

Just so wrong.

On the topic of males being raped. It happens but only in extreme cases. Like it being rampant in prison settings. Females raping men? Once more extreme cases that are very unlikely. The frequent example used of the 300 pound lady hold a man at knifepoint or her resembling Chyna from WWE fame might be possible but extremely unlike. Fantasy versus real life. Also, it is hard to rape a guy without his penis being erect. A fact that is questionable if the male is in direct danger and the stress it represents. on this point you bring in sexual assault. An act that is very distinct from Rape. It is galling and unforgivable but it is NOT Rape. You mention the male relative who was 'raped' as a child. By this, I take you are referring to penetration in terms of 'sodomy' or are you referring to being tampered with?

There is a major difference. I am a survivor of child abuse as a kid. It was 'abuse' not 'rape'

You lose credibility by linking the two under the same umbrella.

I am sure you will get salty in reading my reply as will others. I have worked in crisis counselling including rape victims. Meaning I have first-hand experience. I am not using this to pass judgment on your view. More pointing to the obvious skewed nature of it

[888_sarcastic]

Thank you for sharing your opinion I may not agree but thank you.
I said it the way i understand it being someon who has been assaulted before

[gobsmacked3]

i think herein lies an issue. in both sexual assault and Rape the main point is consent. In regards to no means no and anyone who defies this is in the wrong.

How this irks me is found in this example I give;

'a girl in a club setting where she experiences an inappropriate advance from a male that includes unwanted groping..'

Does she claim sexual assault or cry Rape?

It galls me that in this instance many would cry Rape :( when it is sexual assault

[redeyemindtricks]

what is a “nonce”? (we don’t use that word in america)

[gobsmacked3]

@redeyemindtricks Slang for a paedophile. Followed by a well-used phrase back in the day;

' The only good NONCE... is a dead NONCE...'

Usually, in a very violent manner- think 'rubber necklacing'

[redeyemindtricks]

Ah thanks. No, i’ve definitely never heard that word ahah

[redeyemindtricks]

does it rhyme with “once”?

[gobsmacked3]

@redeyemindtricks LOL!- now you are messing with my head early on a Sunday morn, LOL!

well played!

No, diff' sounding

[gobsmacked3]

@redeyemindtricks
https://youtu.be/7b_mGtKXMUM

[redeyemindtricks]

Tx ahha

[Kkaos]

There are many, many things that someone can't be forgiven for.

[gobsmacked3]

@Kkaos those two are the worst of worst. but it is a tad foolhardy debating the relative merits of wrong

[sawno]

As long as people keep the definition of rape straight and don't polute the waters with there whiny ass fake bullshit we would not have this problem in the first place.

The sad state of affairs is simply that we can no longer trust a rape victim to speak the truth since there are an increasing amount of girls who abuse this victim position to call rape because they regret something.

Any rape victim who expressed dis consent i support, anyone who didn't i can't have much sympathy for. I know its harsh, but i think in such a situation anyone would express discontent one way or another either by struggling, asking or shouting someone to stop or by severe crying. While struggling and crying can be done in a functional relationship (BDSM) in the healthy situations a partner will have expressed consent prior to that or lets you know in the moment its ok to keep going.

I hope that one day we find a good method to separate the fake from the good in a very accurate manner. That way we can finally go back to giving the genuine rape victims the fullest support, as they really deserve it. While giving the fake ones the same punishments they would otherwise have inflicted on others.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Rape is a horrible deed. It should be taken very seriously.

But it's being used as a political divide and conquer tactic between the sexes by communists (starting out as socialists)... you know, like proletarians and buzwagi only now the divides are intersectional and guised as feminist. Fake numbers like 1 in 5 get used and agendas pushed like don't question an accuser (listen and believe) that can destroy a man's life... and many women laugh at prison rape for men whilst having a resting bitch face for themselves... not to mention absolute silence about women's rights under Islamic rule.

I think rape is wrong, and you never see anyone arguing that it's okay at all... yet, currently it's being used as a political tool in the victim olympics... Hilary lost, it must be the patriarchy narrative. No longer just a class war... now it's gender, race, sexuality, body weight, and on and on and on.

Let's talk PTSD, I'm a veteran, I say rape is bad too, but nobody complains about the disposable heroes that fought and died for your rights... but there is a hashtag me too right?

[JesseEllyson]

You've pretty much got it all right. Nothing in your take I would change. Yes, it can happen to anyone, female or male. Rape of a female is much more common but exact statistics are impossible to guess because most men will never admit to having been victimized this way. And yes, there are those who falsely cry rape but these are few and fare between, insignificant, as you say. They only seem more common because they are newsworthy and we tend to hear about every false rape charge whereas we only hear about the smallest percentage of actual rape charges. (Real rape isn't newsworthy. Go figure.) And no, not everyone who is raped suffers PTSD or other mental trauma. (Although I suspect those who claim not to suffer actually do, just not as visibly as some others.) Rape is real, rape is brutal, rape is evil. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It is all about power. The desire to exert a perverted power over another human. It is a sickness, a psychological cancer, a twisted need to control others through forced sexual assault.

[oddwaffle]

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

This goes both ways.

I personally think they put too much efforts to worry about rape victims and believe all rape victims are very traumatized.

It's like you are having a cold and they put you into quarantine and intensive care. Then you later somehow believe you are very very sick.

Here is a real story about rape, kidnapping and human trafficking.

China has been having it's one child policy for a while. Most old families would op for a boy and abort, donate or even outright killing the child if they got a girl.

The results during the period is dramatic. They are looking at tens of million men without a wife. This out an extremely powerful stress in small villages with mostly young men and no young men to seek out young women elsewhere.

This led to a very strong movement of kidnapping young women around the southern border of China. Vietnam, Laos, Thailand and Myanmar are on the list.

The girls would be drugged and put into a house in the mountain in China and sold. Rough estimate at around $50 for each girl. The end price can be around $15,000 if they can put her into a city but that is rare.

Most girls get sent to villages. Forced to marry, have kids and the family keep the kids. They would send the girls to work and take the money. As long as they keep the kids, some of the girls wouldn't be able to leave.

Some would give up their motherly rights and try to escape back to their home country.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing your opinion about rape. I agree with much of what you said but want to add some things.

The biggest problem contributing to the cynicism men (and a lot of women) have today about rape here in the US is the dishonest statistics that grossly overstate how many women actually get raped. Feminists claim 1 in 4 or 5 women get raped. That's 20% - 25%. The Department of Justice statistics show the reality is less than half of 1%. Now, as you said, many rapes do not get reported, and that is true. But the truth is still MUCH closer to the DOJ figure and anyone with a little honesty knows it.

It is also a fact that a lot of rape allegations are false. My brother in law in a detective on the police force for large US city and he said you would be shocked how many obviously false rape claims they deal with. Feminists claim when a rape case is thrown at that another rapist got away with rape, when the reality is there was not enough evidence, and that is often because there was NO RAPE in the first place.

And finally, feminists try to paint rape and a very black-and-white issue when that is often not the case. There is a lot of gray area in many rape stories, and fortunately our legal system is pretty good about acknowledging that and taking it into account.

The bottom line is that men are tired of feminists trying to paint the picture that most men are rapists or potential rapists, and they're tired of feminists denying the magnitude of the problem with false rape allegations. If you want men to be more supportive in the fight against rape, you HAVE TO stop with the dishonesty. If you want men to be on your side, stop alienating them.

[Opinion Owner]

I should also add that by the definition of rape used today, I was literally raped more than 10 times before the age of 20, but because I am a man rather than a woman it would never be taken seriously. Why? Because whether or not they are honest enough to see it, the feminists paint women as weak, defenseless who are incapable of being responsible for their own choices and actions, and men as predators and perpetrators who are always responsible for their choices and actions, even when drunk. That is an example of the kind of sexism men face today that most women seem totally oblivious to.

[Opinion Owner]

weak, defenseless *victims

[Anonymous]

First of all you don't speak for all victims. You speak for yourself. Rape jokes can be funny. My sister was raped and she'll laugh at a good rape joke like the one Dave Chappelle said. Not all women/men deal with this the same way. I'll go back to my sister. She doesn't see herself as a victim or a survivor , she sees herself as some one who was unlucky because bad things happen to people all the time. She doesn't ask for sympathy or cares if someone doesn't believe her or not because she knows her truth.

As to saying false rapes reports are insignificant, you are definitely delusional because you don't pay attention to it so you don't notice it. I don't know what you really want.

Good Take ❤

[Kkaos]

Funny how you can't even stand by your opinion, you have to say it anonymously.

[ShesAmerican]

Rape jokes are sensitive to the majority of people with experience and without. Not everybody can handle that kind of humor but it's not a bad thing if somebody thinks it's offensive when you crack a rape joke. Good for her for not finding it offensive tho, doesn't mean we should be like her

[Super2nd]

Most of rape allegations are Fake !!!
The real ones, are the ones you never heard about it !!! They are the real rape victims.

But I wouldn't say we live in a "rape Culture" !

[Anonymous]

"Let's get real about rape" Then pushes the false narrative of it happens more than we think.

CHECK STATS!
The Bureau of Justice Statistics (The gold star in crime statistics)
shows it's less than 1 in 1000 and has been for decades.
This INCLUDES estimates for the fabricated "90+%" number that doesn't come forward but doesn't remove the numbers of those that have been proven bullshit claims (Which is almost 40% of rape claims)

https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv14.pdf

Rape IS bad, it IS something we should care about, but it is NOT this 1 in 4 epidemic pushed by femidiots.

But yes males are raped by WOMEN as well as men. Men are raped in higher numbers than women when you account for prison rape.
If we started actually holding female rapist accountable the female to male rape stats would likely be comparable.

[Sabretooth]

Prison rape is kind of a gray area

[Opinion Owner]

@Sabretooth well, but it's not.

[Sabretooth]

They are likely in for rape

[Opinion Owner]

@Sabretooth Umm nope... prison rape happens to prisoners regardless of what they are in for.

[Sabretooth]

i know that

[animus1988]

rape is a female fantasy and out of 1000 allegations less than 1 is even real. the rest are pure fiction or a girl regrettting having sex with a guy. you how i know its fake? i can bench 250lbs and would still have trouble legit raping anyhow. that would require me to hold down/restrain a girls arms AND legs AND have sex at the same time. that is almost impossible to do.

[Jayson101]

I knew a girl who's boyfriend's PARENTS were paying for her rent and she accused him of raping her at night when they were in bed. Absolutely awful.

I was a witness and the southwest Los Angeles police department literally told me they get so many fake reports they don't take them seriously.

[animus1988]

@Jayson101 yea its unreal. women have a lot to gain by accusing men of rape. the average person is an SJW who is too stupid to realize that actually raping someone is near impossible without weapons. 99.9999999999999999999% of the time. a girl has sex then just wants to get back at the guy later by crying rape

[Jayson101]

Yeah this girl is too young and naive. She tried to appeal to greater experience but she is only seventeen. They are being taught horrible things at universities. "Just Sex? The Cultural Scaffolding of Rape" by Nicola Gavey does not talk about rape. Every single account she gives in her book is of consensual sex, yet it's a book about 'rape'. And then she says that if these things were to happen to men it wouldn't matter.

[Kiran04]

"The number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"

100% incorrect. That statistic only counts those who admitted they were lying. The number of people who lie about being raped are not insignificant, and every accusation should be looked at with caution and suspicion, because the law requires them to be. Innocent until proven guilty. You can not outright believe the accuser without also outright believing the accused is guilty, and that is counter to law.

[Kkaos]

Caution and suspicion aren't really the right words. You can't suspect them of lying. You would look at the claim with respect and be professional about it. Don't comment on it or make any assumption until the evidence is on the table.

[WalterRadio]

"number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"
That isn't true. LOTS of women lie about being raped because they would rather be a victim than be called a slut.

[Goochbreaker]

in Canada, 1/10 rape accusations is FOUND to be a false allegation. So many aren't investigated, so at least half of those are probably actually real rapes and I've met many women who have been raped trust me it happens and to all the drunk sluts that call shit rape when it's not I'VE MET YOU WHORES AS WELL AND FUCK YOU, AND THE GIRLS WHO HAVE BEEN RAPED SHOULD HATE YOU MORE THAN I DO YOU LYING CUNT WHO RUINED THE LIFE OF AN INNOCENT BOY FUCK YOUUUU

[ShesAmerican]

df kinda bullcrap is that

[WalterRadio]

@ShesAmerican
It sounds like a rant from a guy who was falsely accused.

[Goochbreaker]

I wasn't falsely accused but I know more than a few people who were and that's already too fucking many. My friend falsely accused me as 'a joke' after i lost my virginity and I about fucking lost it. 1/10 rapes in Canada is found to be false and that is not made up why don't you check wikipedia or whatever resource you like because it's from the justice department

[WalterRadio]

@Goochbreaker
I didn't disagree with you. I was commenting on your tone. And since you admit you were falsely accused, it seems as though I nailed it.

[Goochbreaker]

I just said I wasn't falsely accused LOL read dude please, my friend as a joke said it and I made it clear to her how not funny it was and that it's not something to joke about, that is not the same as an actual false accusation when somebody attempts to ruin your life over such things. She was just being a feminist cunt, she did not legitimately accuse me of anything.

[WalterRadio]

@Goochbreaker
"a feminist cunt, she did not legitimately accuse"
Exactly.

[jacquesvol]

"But if you ____ or if you ____. you're asking to be raped" is what cops, jury members , John Doe and Jane Roe think. Because long ago they heard it from dad.

[Anonymous]

I just don't care about rape anymore, at all. If a woman get's raped I don't give a shit, and why? Because the amount of women who lie about rape, the amount of women who conflate regretful sex with rape, who think holding a door open is sexual assault etc. After crying wolf for years I just don't give a shit anymore, if a woman get's raped she gets raped. I don't give a damn anymore

[Regular1]

The majority of female rape claims are either: Pure fantasy, a deliberate lie to get revenge on some poor guy, regretted consensual sex, or some other excuse to avoid responsibility. The other 10% are reasonably legit.

[animus1988]

this x1000000

[abc3643]

I see that the bulk of the male answers here reflects that rape culture is alive and thriving here in the US even moreso than a generation ago. To quote a certain presidential carrot: "Sad".

[Jayson101]

Women make accusations all the time. they are told that it's a good idea to make a fake claim nowadays

[Anonymous]

I was raped by a work colleague at 16, the only people who know still to this day is my bestfriend and my sister, who I only told recently. It is NOT about how you dress, what you say or how provocative you are RAPE IS RAPE AND IS NOT ALLOWED.

[Chrysis]

I disagree with a few things, but that's my personal view. All in all, a good take, especially the part you're stressing the existence of male rape victims.

[Anonymous]

So women getting drunk and being sluts, calling rape rather than admitting their sluts, and some poor guy’s life gets ruined is fair? Real rape is very rare in western countries.

[ShesAmerican]

lol what? it happens everywhere. Even if rape doesn't happen as much as it does in third world countries, it is still valid and should be taken seriously. Just because a girl is getting drunk and dressing short skirts or whatever, it still does not give an excuse to men or women to rape her. Don't take advantage of that shit

[Opinion Owner]

No, not take advantage. Both the man and woman are drunk. The girls shows her true colors by being easy and going home with some random guy and then call rape. Real rape is rare most of the time girls are just drunk sluts and put the blame on the guy. Even though he was drunk too he is still in the wrong

[Jayson101]

@ShesAmerican I think you are very immature and have been taught a distorted perception of reality

[ShesAmerican]

@Jayson101 lmfao who are you? i said what i said. I don't give a fuck about what you think, hop off

[TheUsername27]

People can joke about whatever they want. If enough people find it funny... then it is fine. Jokes are more often then not about a play on words... add in dark context can make things for a lot of people more funny. Grow up.