Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

When that "locker-room talk" video of Trump surfaced prior to his election, my immediate reaction out loud was: "mother...fucker." You want to talk about buyer's remorse. Now he's got girls lining up to tear his reputation down, I have a hard time believing all of them (17 now?) are lying. And, to be honest, it warms my heart to see women and men (even the primas in Hollywood) speaking out against it, even if they were covertly recompensed for trading their dignity.

I imagine the betrayal was similar to those of Democrats who witnessed the impeachment of Clinton. It seems sometimes you can't solely rely on anyone but yourself to represent you in a way that reflects your character.

The "swamp", is a case of when absolute power corrupts absolutely. Regardless of political affiliation. Can happen to any one of us. And it is worse in the older generation. Drain it on both sides.

So, based on my experience, my first tip is document, document, document. Send dated emails with time stamps to coworkers or someone you trust. I'll be slightly insidious and suggest it is not that difficult to record audio on your phone and slip it in your pocket if you are uncomfortable behind closed doors with certain coworkers/managers. Some managers who have nothing to hide may even be welcoming of it if you disclose you wish to record any private conversations, there are good ones out there, quite a few actually. Or opt to have a group meeting. Many businesses will often hold company wide training during or prior to employment, take advantage of it and pay attention. Some offices are in an open layout and have glass doors/walls so that everyone can generally see everyone. I'd also recommend, especially guys, condemning it in the workplace among your coworkers. I don't care how badly you want to go with the flow or "fit in". It's not funny when it happens. Consult with HR if you have questions, they are there to help.

Tips on Fighting/Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

And if you find yourself in the midst of a situation, stop talking, get up, and walk out. Walk away. Don't endure ANYTHING for the sake of a job. I guarantee they will be more scared of you than you realize. I would subsequently head right to HR if you have one. It may result in termination, it may not. Not really for you to decide. Companies will often adopt a no-retaliation policy in the event that mistakes are made or if misunderstandings occur, in that event it's used as a teaching opportunity. Whatever the outcome, it may end be the best thing that ever happened to them or you, you never know. You should have been promised a safe environment where you could be productive free of molestation. All this goes for both managers and employees.

To those who want engage in it anyway for compensation or otherwise, don't. It will backfire if word gets out. It can create serious mistrust among coworkers. It also makes your workforce MUCH more difficult to manage if you are a manager for the resentment and disrespect they will now have for you.

If there is anybody who worked in HR or had better experience or advice is welcome to share. This isn't meant to scare anyone and give the impression that we all get up and go to a daily orgy mill. I highly doubt it is something that occurs all that often, although my perspective IS limited given my disposition as a male.

Other tip for younger guys in the work place, sometimes you will encounter institutionalized sexism or inappropriate behavior that has been a part of their culture for decades, it is often older coworkers who perpetuate it. The advice I have is to at least lead by example and not indulge in it. You can go so far as to express disapproval if you wish in palatable ways. I understand the pressure to respect your elders and recognize they're supposed to help teach you the job and be the real leaders, but they need to understand that change is the only constant in this universe. And the truth is being experienced does not necessarily equate to wisdom in any/all situations.

Also understand it from an older worker's perspective that they did sometimes did not acclimate to working alongside the opposite gender and management did not provide distinct goals/guidance on this issue. Oft times because they themselves were stressed or just plain too preoccupied to deal with what most considered a trivial issue compared to their job tasks at hand. Again, HR can be at your disposal if you have questions.

Full disclosure, I have been harassed before and I myself have harassed before. Both instances occurred when I was a minor with other minors. Neither were anything serious. Neither occurred while I was working (in school). It felt wrong and awkward before, during, and afterwards. I didn't need to be told to learn from those lessons. Never again, and will continue to conduct myself accordingly, especially in the workplace. No one should be forced or pressured to trade sexual favors for survival.

I would like to point out that these were not the original photos I inserted into this take. While the original text was unaltered, GAG reserves the right to make whatever changes they wish.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you suggest when the person harassing you is your manager, and there is no HR?

    Not everyone works white collar jobs at multi-billion dollar companies with huge departments. You can’t always walk away. You can’t always leave a job because you’re being harassed.

    While this take is well-meaning, I think it’s short-sighted.

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    • I agree that this myTake simplifies it a little too much. In the US, if your harasser is management, or management doesn't listen, there is the EEOC. Once a complaint is lodged there, if your employer does fire you over it you are entitled to compensation for wrongful termination at the very least. I know its not a perfect solution, but there are ways to deal with this situation as well.

    • This thought did cross my mind. I didn't mean walk away from the job, I meant walk away from an incident before it escalates or you panic and do something you might regret. This doesn't have to be fight or flight. Your character wouldn't be in question here. Your manager would have violated trust, and this sends an immediate message.

      In your scenario, I have no direct experience. I can only suggest you still walk away, compose yourself, and still document. Now, since there is no HR, you effectively have to represent your self as your own Human Resource personnel. I would send a written document to your employer restating what happened and that you wish to continue employment unmolested. It IS against the law to sexually harass. I believe you can contact the EEOC for help if you find yourself lost. You can even call the police if it is that bad. And if your employer is an asshole and terminates out of fear or resentment, then you'll have documentation. At the very least, you will...

    • ... you will have evidence of why you were terminated at so it doesn't count against you at your next job.

      And I stress it is probably not prudent to resign without another prospect lined up. But it is also not appropriate to withstand such treatment.

      I was kind of hoping someone else might chime in on this particular scenario, because you are correct.

Most Helpful Guy

  • How to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace:

    Stay away from women in the work place at all times. Insist on a neutral 3rd party for all meetings that involve women. Do not mentor women. Do not EVER meet a woman 1 on 1 at work or in any work related capacity. NEVER date a woman from work, or have any intimate relations with a woman from work. Don't hire a woman as your secretary. Make sure your office is located a good distance away from those of any women.

    Boom, problem solved. The future isn't female. It's segregation.

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    • Just make it illegal for women to work. There are already men doing female dominated jobs like nannies, maids, midwives, nursing, early childhood education, etc, so it's not impossible. Then everyone's problems will be solved as long as they can pick up the slack.

      I'm just kidding, but I know there are guys out there who would love that idea.

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    • @love_conquers_lust You need to stop. Please.

    • @love_conquers_lust You're so fixated on the problem that you aren't even bothering to look at solutions. The only one throwing emotional manipulation around here is you. You're the one trying to pull heart strings and stretch tempers. I'm at the finish line already. Segregation eliminates all of the problems you keep bringing up examples to. That's why your examples are irrelevant. They would not exist in a segregated world. Segregation isn't about emotions and feelings, manipulated or otherwise. It's cold, crude, blunt, and indiscriminate, but it is effective. If that isn't the world you want, then #MeToo is not your yellow brick road. But #MeToo is what everyone has a boner for, so segregation is what we're going to get one way or the other.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I didn't know that event before and I'm not working yet, but maybe this helps with other situations too...
    I like where it is saying that not because people are elder everything they do is right especially when being aware yourself they're not doing something right then yourself have to give the example, it's easier said than done though...
    Anyway thank you for writing it, enlightening take in my opinion ✔

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  • I've been sexually harrased a man literally felt on my nipples, rubbed his dick against my ass, and kept sneak rubbing my little booty and grabbing it. Now i couldnt tell because i would be in trouble for sexual harrassment for sexual flirting, pinching his nipples and a light rub on his chest and stomach lol

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    • Thank you for sharing.

      Sexual harassment is usually unwanted/uncalled for/undesirable. Where it gets murky is interpreting post-incident whether a victim/recipient desired it or not. This is the controversy surrounding arousal in that just because you are aroused, doesn't mean you gave consent.

      Verbal comments may or may not be punishable offenses, depends on frequency in my opinion. Physical offenses are pretty clear cut. So if you engage without consent, you are at risk for harassment. It's a gamble.

      I advise keeping it all verbal and any physical activity take place off the clock. Even then, your employer may not allow such talk to occur under their employ.

  • People are being harassed everywhere. It's just we can only avoid contact with such people.

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  • Girls, please learn karate or any martial arts. Never take these things easy and straight about it.

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  • What were the original photos?

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    • www.lucasware.com/.../training.png

      I specifically didn't want gender/racial undertones because it applies to everybody.

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    • They did it for me per my request on my profile page after notifying me they would feature it. They obliged. But you can't make the edits yourself as far as I know.

  • Really amazing

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  • Thanks this is important

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  • cut off the arms with which they touched you

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  • What if your boss always talks to you about sexual situations and it turns you on but you are both married?

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  • Thank you!

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  • Thanks

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  • Thanks

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  • What I would like to know is why do older men... usually men over 55 feel like they can say what they want to a woman? No one cares about the size of their dried up penis or how long they can go.

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    • Testosterone and social conditioning. It was normal for them. I imagine some may be struggling with their home lives as well.

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    • Bitter much?

    • @villageidiot if you are speaking to me... why should I be bitter

  • Good Job.

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  • Good to know

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  • Good take thanks.

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  • Warn your female Co workers

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  • Good to know good take

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What Guys Said 31

  • I do want to audio record what goes on at my office but I don't know where to hide my phone in order for the microphone to have easy access to sound. It might be too quiet or have a lot noise instead of voice. In my pants, the mirophone easily gets blocked by the material. There is no front pocket on my suit or shirt that can fit the size of my phone. Any suggestions? I can buy a bodycam. Might be tough to hide though. And their battery only lasts like 3 hours based on my research.

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    • I'm not suggesting everyone go cloak & dagger. I'm saying documentation and professionally saying "no" can be enough to cause real cultural change in a workplace.

  • About 15 years ago - before sexual harassment was invented, he said sarcastically - a gal I used to work with had moved onto another job.

    We stayed in touch and one day she mentioned to me that a guy who had worked there a while and was her nominal superior was making somewhat lewd remarks and saying various things. She said, "Should I report this?"

    "Absolutely," I replied, "why wouldn't you?"

    This gal was tough as nails and took no guff from anyone. Her reply to me that day was, "You're right." She went to HR made a huge stink and got him fired. This is, as I say, well before sexual harassment was the issue of the moment.

    Ladies, I don't mean to offend, but enough with the song and dance. You want to be treated equally, then get a backbone and fight back. If you are trading your dignity away because you are afraid it will hurt your career, expect what you are about to get.

    Yes, yes, yes, it would be nice if guys behaved the way they ought. No fact begins with "IF." The world is as it is, warts and all, and no choice - even the right one - comes without consequences.

    This I tell you. Every woman who shut her mouth when Harvey Weinstein molested them and said nothing about it - for whatever reason - made the problem worse. Indeed, are guilty in complicity with the crime.

    Get a backbone, make a choice. Everybody feels for the martyr, but no one wants to be one.

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  • A friend of mine gave me a tip about how to sort guys who put their hands on womens knees.. Sadly with not smoking in building she cannot do it now but a little touch on the back of hand with a lit cig they quickly move it. Now she has a little divise similar to a cattle prod its only the size of a cigarette but just as affective..

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  • The reason men harass women more than vice versa is because men cover their bodies up and women don't. It's not professional for a woman to go to work showing 30 to 50% of her body.

    There's no excuse either. A woman can easily combat that by covering up. Is she aware of that? Yes. Don't dress how you want and be shocked that men look. You can't dress as you want in a professional setting and pretend it had nothing to do with it.

    Women used to fancy men who used to wear less clothes too, so it's the skin that is attractive. If I showed up in a mini skirt and tank top, women will be more attracted towards me on average. It's unfair to allow this when it can be combated.

    The work place is not a place to dress sexy.

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    • Women harrass men more often.

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    • Testosterone levels in men drop because they eat like effeminate wusses and don't get men's food nutrition.

      Certain food is more male based.

    • Partially, in combination with sedentary lifestyles working in more mentally taxing jobs as opposed to physical ones chasing a profit.

  • Just zap any bastard that screws with you!
    lol
    Thanks for the take.

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  • Eventually something will be done, but it's taking a long ass time. More women need to come forward, it gets harder for perverts to deny it when there are so many witnesses.

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    • You do not understand the darker side of female nature.

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    • Yes. My mother, in her youth, was very beautiful. She was a cellist. She would go after guys with multiple girlfriends. Drug dealers and bohemians. Taken men. She would laugh off men who hung around her a lot and was scared by their sexual advances.

      Scorned by the infidelity of the kind of men she WAS interested in, she slashed their tires and smashed glass at them. She ended up falling in love with my dad who, though i love him, was emotionally volatile and vitriolic and would leave the home and go on week long drinking benders in Hong Kong with my newborn self (less than a month old) at my mothers home in New Zealand.

    • There are state funded feminist academics like Nicola Gavey who actively promote sexual assault of males. It is considered, by them, to be 'empowering' and not constituting as rape.

      Yet despite their dis-concern in regards to ACTUAL sexual assault, they make mountains out of molehills. Seeing violence in laughter. Seeing rape in soup. They have twisted imaginations yet the government enables them and lets them go about their merry way with no consequences.

  • "They will be more scared of you than you realise."

    Very, very true.

    Always walk out, in these situations. Always.

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  • How to fight harassment:

    Demand respect and respect others
    Everyone should be respected at work, no one should be so far up the chain that they forget that the people below them are working every single day to make them money.

    Open and honest communication
    I think miscommunication is the cause for 90% of these harassment issues. When someone does something small that is inappropriate, and no one says anything, then they think it wasn't inappropriate. That tends to snowball. Most people don't view themselves as a villain, and would happily change their ways if they were shown that they were acting inappropriately.

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  • I’ve had a couple of girls grab my ass hard back in high school and they all just laughed. And I’m not gonna lie I wanted to smack the shit right outta those girls l.

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  • Hmm, I would think that at least in the Western world, everyone under 70 would be used to dealing with the opposite gender in the workplace now.

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  • i think there is a difference between the ideal and reality over this issue

    Ideal- You communicate to your assailant after saying no to their advance making it known they were wholly in the wrong and in no way you tolerate this. This is the measure if you want to give them a chance. If not, you relay it straight to a superior and take it from there

    reality- Sometimes this is not an option. the world is more enlightened in dealing with this but some people are still forced to suffer in silence. think of a small company without support networks or working in a job you need for you are under the cosh financially. You do not want to take shit but you fear that if you rock the boat it might cost you and then how do you pay your bills

    No easy answers for it still is not an ideal world for many

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    • I suggested in another thread that you pretty much have to act as your own HR rep. in a smaller company. You can contact the EEOC for help if it's that bad. Mostly, it's about standing up for yourself. I would distinguish this as majority and minority. These are real world examples, not just idealities. Corporations make up less than 1 percent of private firms but employ about 38% of the workforce. I'm not entirely sure, but the public sector should be even stricter/consistent.

      I'd prefer you offer advice on working for smaller companies if you have any. I've never encountered any issues myself in the few I've worked for. I don't think being rash and quitting is wise without something else lined up or dealing with the problem directly. And, anywhere you go, you can document. He who documents, wins. But this is a large headache/hassle and stressful which is why I I don't think it should be your first reaction unless it was a criminal offense.

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    • I also found, perhaps you've experienced otherwise, that employees that work for smaller companies typically are too busy to engage in such acts because they're preoccupied with trying to stay afloat (solvent).

    • I'm not saying bluff and threaten. I'm suggesting building a legitimate case. And yeah, you will probably need a lawyer if it escalates going into a courtroom. Many businesses are small potatoes which is why the last thing some of them can afford is engaging in this behavior.

      I've been paid "under the table" classified as self-employed and that shit was hard work. When there's money to be made, there's no time for grab-ass.

  • It's simple for me... if she isn't my wife , stay the f... away from me as far as you can.

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  • Do not interact with women in any way at the workplace

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  • Reacting with a loud voice can discourage.
    People don't like to be exposed.

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  • I couldn't tell if I was harassed or sexual harassment at my work a few years ago

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  • Avoid women in the workplace

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  • Fake sexual harrasement cases

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  • Avoid women

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  • Interesting

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  • Nice read.

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