Things You Should Know About Transgender People

Things You Should Know About Transgender People

I have two transgender cousins, and I've dated a female to male (FTM for short) transgender. So, I have a bit of experience with them.

My cousins are both in their teen years still, and so going through this is hard for them, especially when the both of them have a lot more to deal with on their plate. My cousin's both have learning disabilities (like myself), and one of them has pre-existing medical problems, which is why they can't fully transition into the gender they want to be.

Before I talk about my cousins and what their journey is like, I want to talk about my ex and his journey. So, I dated my ex on and off for about two to three years. And when you date someone who's a transgender, you get eyed at and judged too, not just your partner. For me, a lot of people in my life didn't want me dating him because of him being transgender and he also dealt with serious depression. Looking back at it now, I get the point of them wanting me not to date him because of his depression. I was already going through a lot myself, and being with someone who had major depression was just bringing me down even more. But, the transgender reason made no sense.

Just like everyone else, he's human too with feelings. It killed me that people would judge him for it and that he wasn't able to express himself fully. He also had a hard time changing his name. I won't give you the names he changed to due to respect and privacy for him, but he changed them a lot and now goes by a different name than he did when I was dating him.

Another thing that I experienced with him was that a lot of people kept using the old terms like "She, her, her's, she's, girl". It really made me mad because they did it in front of him, but they also did it in front of me. I constantly defended him, saying that they should call him by his proper pronouns, but they fought back, giving the argument "If she's not born a boy, then she's not a boy". That argument still pisses me off to this day!

I don't really talk to my ex anymore because his depression got so bad that he developed a drug addiction and I think he became an alcoholic, not quite sure about him being an alcoholic though, I could be wrong. So, I haven't really heard from him since September or October? I really can't remember to be honest with you!

Now let's talk about my cousins experiences. My cousins came out when they were just in their early teens. My male to female cousin (or MTF for short) came out when she was about fourteen. My female to male cousin came out when he was around fifteen or sixteen. They both struggled in their own personal ways. My male to female cousin struggled with acceptance, while my female to male cousin struggled with his name for a while, but he now has a great name. And it's great because it's very close to his former name.

Now I'd like to talk about things that you need to know about transgender people and how you should treat them, because a lot of people still seem to struggle with this factor, even if they're accepting of transgender people!

1. They are NOT all the same!

Not every transgender woman or transgender man are gonna be the same. Take my cousins for example. My male to female cousin is very girly, but has an urban style to it. She likes to act like she is black (not gonna lie), and her jokes are very rude and sarcastic. My female to male cousin, on the other hand, is sweet, chill, wants to treat everybody with respect, and doesn't care about what people think. Now another male to female may be more like my female to male cousin, while another female to male might be more like my male to female cousin. Every transgender woman or man are not all the same.

2. Everyone's transition journey is different!

Every transgender woman or man has a different transition journey from the other. One may have more struggle with the acceptance while the other may have more struggle with their appearance. That being said though, all transgenders in the end struggle with their appearance because they're not the gender that they're truly supposed to be. My cousin's journey are very different from the other's. My female to male cousin is going to get his hormonal treatment later on while my male to female cousin is getting her treatments right now. My male to female cousin is going to have her gender reassignment surgery, while my female to male cousin will not be able to, due to pre-existing medical issues. So, every transgender's transition journey is different, so never expect two different transgender's to be going through the same journey as the other!

3. It's very, VERY DISRESPECTFUL to use their old pronouns!

When a person comes out as transgender, that means that they're not going to be using the same pronouns as everyone is used to. So if they're a girl trying to become a male, she becomes he. If they're a male trying to become female, he becomes she. If you make a mistake here and there, it's totally fine. I've done it to my female to male cousin, but I always apologized and he was always cool with it. Not everyone can be though, so you will have to try and watch what pronouns you use. It's considered disrespectful when you constantly use their old pronouns, so don't do it.

4. Mental health issues occur a lot with transgender people!

Everyone deals with mental health issues, but people who are transgender deal with them a lot more. The reason for this is because they're not in their right physical body and it makes them feel very depressed. They also deal with Dysmorphia, which is when a person doesn't like their body. My female to male cousin goes through this because he still has the reproductive system of a female. I've witnessed the experience myself. It was his sister's grade eight graduation bbq and his crush was coming over to celebrate it. He got all dressed up and ready for her. But that day, he got his period and he became depressed because he was reminded that he's still physically a girl and not a boy. Transgender people can also deal with anxiety issues as well. They may be worried that people will laugh and make fun of them or hurt them in some kind of way. So, because transgender people are more likely to deal with mental issues, you should be cautious and try not to make them feel uncomfortable as it may put a spark to their issues.

5. It can be VERY HARD for them to get into relationships!

Transgender people have a harder time getting into relationships. The reason for that is because there are still people out there that will judge them for being transgender, and the person they might wanna get into a relationship with, may not want to be with a transgender person. My male to female cousin has this problem! She goes on dating sites (even though she's a bit young for that) and talks to people online. Whenever she hangs out with me, she always asks the question if she should tell them that she's transgender or not. It's VERY important to transgender people that they are accepted by their partner because if they're not, there won't be a healthy relationship out of it. Take Jazz Jennings for example! She has a hard time telling people that she wants to get in a relationship with that she's transgender. Again, this is because not everyone is accepting of that, and you can't get into a relationship with someone who is not accepting of you! So if you've had a hard time with relationships, just remember that there's always someone else out there who is struggling a lot harder than you are with relationships!

6. They have a harder time getting jobs!

Unfortunately, not everyone is accepting of the LGBTQ community and some companies won't hire people of that community! It's sad that there are companies that are still out there that do this, but it's the truth. Now, I'm not going by my cousin's experiences, I'm going by my ex's experiences. My ex was able to get jobs, but he had a hard time holding onto the jobs. He either quit or got fired from them. Now, I'm not really sure why this happened because I don't know the full stories, but I just know that for him it's hard to get and keep the job. But it's not just him that struggles with getting jobs and keeping them, it's other transgender people too. Some companies are still having a hard time accepting people of the LGBTQ community. So, it makes it harder for people who are transgender, to get a job.

These are some things about transgender's that I know, that I think you should know as well. If you would like to add more points, you can do so in the comments below! If you're transgender yourself, know that I stand with you because I myself am apart of the LGBTQ community. (I'm Bisexual)! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Have a nice day/night!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Things You Should Know About Transgender People" Why "should" I know anything? I don't want to be involved with anyone who has this condition and I don't want them in my life. I think that their "condition" is a symptom of a mental illness and that we should treat their mental illness instead of mutilating their genitals. I resent anyone telling me what I "should" think or how I "should" feel about something. You can be arrogant and insist that you occupy the moral high ground but that is not a very persuasive argument.

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    • I'm sorry you feel this way, I am not saying or insisting that you change your views, but I ask you to give them the same respect that you would give to anyone else you come across. Judging by your age, you grew up in a more traditional time, probably read the bible a lot and believed everything the bible told you. And that's ok! I've accepted that not everyone is going to agree with me on this topic. And transgender people do not expect you to change your mind either, but they do wish that you treat them with the same respect that you would with anyone else.

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    • @Amy247 okay so you think my statistics are bull and I think your statistics are bull, so let's talk facts. FACT, no surgery can turn you from a man to a woman or vice versa. Can we agree on fact #1 before proceeding?

    • @Goochbreaker Agreed because I'm already a woman. Surgery will align my body parts to this reality. I am legally female.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I recognize it as a mental illness and many see that as an insult. A schizophrenic sees, feels, and hears things and they actually hear these things in their mind. A person who has never been female/male to know what it is like, feels like they are female/male and wants to eliminate the body parts that don't fit their feelings, that is an illness.

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    • Again, like I told many other people, I am not looking to change your mind or anything, I am just looking for you to give them the respect that they deserve. They are humans just like us and deserve the same respect as each and every one of us!

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    • @Goochbreaker Yea I'm in the South so we haven't gone so far yet, but I do have family out there. I heard my 9yo cousin tell his 6yo sister "Don't assume people's genders"

    • @Goochbreaker Wow... that's horrid. West Coast Canada and Central Canada are REALLY liberal and getting people fired over assuming genders or using wrong pronouns. East Coast is fairly Conservative so they're not having it. But, it could change.

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What Guys Said 54

  • I can respect them as people and give them commons decency but that doesn't mean that I have to buy in on their mental illness and humour them by using different pronouns. They're not the gender that they "wish to be." They're just people with a mental disorder that deserves treatment.

    There are people who think that their own limbs are not part of their body and that they should cut them off- should society indulge them on their craziness and saw off an arm?

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    • gender dysphoria is a mental illness like schizophrenia and calling them by a gender they ARE NOT is the worst thing you can possibly do for them

  • I want to point out something you also pointed out, the mental disabilities associated with being trans. There is a reason for this, they have an identity disorder, similar to anorexia or DID. They are depressed because they are transgender, it comes with the territory. Their body and mind are not synchronized, hence why it's a disorder. As like other disorders we don't know how to treat them or prevent them. I'm autistic amongst other things, and regardless of whether or not people accept me, I will always have anxiety and other issues which are chemical inbalances in the brain.

    That said, trans people are still people and given that they are so mentally unstable, bullying them is not smart as it further causes them grief. If they can find love kr someone who can tolerate them, then awesome. But most transgenders are hard to talk to as they are not good at communicating and are often very susceptible to criticism and difference of opinion.

    Trans people are in fact people. But their harmful and illogical decisions should not be championed or supported. Just like OCD, depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, 2 of which I have, these issues need to meet with understanding but also combated to help balance the individual. We want to help depressed and bipolar people, we understand that they are harmful and not things to overlook. Having gender dysphoria/gender identity disorder should be seen the same way.

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  • I feel for anyone who struggles as a human, but I don't see how a person trying to change their innate biology is a problem that society should attempt to "solve." There are intersex people who need medical intervention to help them, but I don't have a great deal of empathy for folks who willfully mutilate themselves because they believe they were given the wrong sex organs. That is a psychological problem, not a biological one.

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  • Oh my. The pronoun crap again? Who cares.

    You don't anyone "pronouns" that are present, those are terms you use describing them to others when you aren't there. When you are present you are "you" "Bill", "Karen" etc.

    When you aren't present then it becomes "HE" isn't here today but will be tomorrow" or "she's on vacation this week" No one says he or she to a person directly.

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  • Absolutely disgusting and degenerate.

    As for #5 this should be a given as I, a straight man, do not particularly care for shlong. I think I can speak for all straight men here (if you like trannys, you're not straight).

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    • how come i got banned and you didn;t? I share your same sanity

    • @Goochbreaker the inherent Marxism of the left is shown, Everytime they block someone who opposes their degenerate views... the indoctrination rate is getting scarily high tho

    • @Harsh_5299 now I'm reading all these comments about people feeling mentally tired, this year where I live people are getting sick way more than usual, everyone has the flu... wtf is happening? Whatever terrifying chemical/propaganda based mechanisms are keeping us down, someone is turning up the dial, and I am afraid...

  • I might sound a bit rude, but for me, trans people are what they are when they're born. Cutting your dick/boobs and putting opposing sex clothes doesn't change your sex.
    That being said, people can be whatever they want, as long as they don't force it on me. Which means don't ask for a special treatement. I won't give them more than what I'd give to anyone else.
    Common sense, you'd say... Well, not in 2018, where everything is something-phobic.

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  • "he old terms like "She, her, her's, she's, girl". It really made me mad because they did it in front of him, but they also did it in front of me. I constantly defended him, saying that they should call him by his proper pronouns, but they fought back, giving the argument "If she's not born a boy, then she's not a boy". That argument still pisses me off to this day!"

    My issue... and with MOST hetero-PEOPLE I know... if the genitals are MALE... HE WILL ALWAYS be called one... like with the Chris Jenner cross dressing with hormones issue.

    I have plenty of Homo-sexual friends... never meet (known they were) a trans-gender.

    The main issue I seen with them, is that they don't tell the person they hit on/make out with... which results in 95% of the violence them are faced with.

    I think any trans person that dates should disclose it after a few PMs/emails. If he/she, waits for the first date is asking for a disaster.

    "ANY".. make out/sex without telling is a COMPLETE LIE... as MUCH as them BEING HIV INFECTED to any straight male I KNOW. And which would almost ALWAYS end up with Violence... like telling them you KNEW you had aids (unprotected).

    Not trying to sound Harsh, just telling it from a hetero-male perspective. That's how MOST Hetro-Males act.

    There are plenty of dating sites/forums for those people... just should never be on a dedicated Male/female dating site... as You can take as many hormones you want/surgeries... but DNA wise YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE.

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  • Thank you for this myTake. I hope it can open some minds.

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    • You're welcome. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. I'm not looking to change anyone's minds. I'm just looking for people to give them the respect that they would give to anybody.

  • i will treat them with the same courtesy and decency that i treat anyone else, but i will not go out of my way for them. I don't owe anyone this amount of research into their life or feel implored to handle them with kid gloves because they have a condition

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    • Any Trans person that requires you to treat then with kid gloves probably has more issues than just Gender Dysphoria Most just want you to treat them like you would anyone else.

  • It all starts with the brain so they have to accept what their brain wants. So problems arise because of the body and external problems which people create. Once we accept them as natural humans , we can be more helpful to them to allow them to lead their normal lives. We all have a right to live with dignity and love. Let us do no wrong to them. Let us lelp them to feel more comfortable.

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  • Know that the transgendered have a suicide rate of an astounding 40%. These are not happy well adjusted people. They need much help.

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  • I wouldn’t call someone by the wrong name intentionally or by a nickname that annoys them, so why would I call someone by a pronoun they didn’t like? That said, if I make an initial mistake, understand that comes from innocent ignorance, not from a place of intentional arrogance: correct me, but do not scold me.

    I guess for me, it makes no difference: not my body, not my choice. My job is just to treat others with kindness and respect.

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  • You can't go threw life holding peoples hand all the time. If someone hands me a bag with their balls in it because they don't like them, I will tell them to keep them as a souvenir. These issues have nothing to do with most people, nor should they feel the need to worry about it.

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    • “I’m afraid of this thing because I do not fully understand it, so i’m gonna ignore it and not be kind to them”

    • @bente2 I did not say that, said nothing about fear, i said I don't want anything to do with the debate. And most people don't care anymore.

    • Yet that’s exactly what it says.

  • "4. Mental health issues occur a lot with transgender people!"
    What a bazingaXD moment, who woulda thunk that people who want their dicks chopped off have mental issues, god, what an insight.

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  • Enough with labeling mental illness as something normal. All "transgendered" people belong in a mental institution, since that is not a gender or an orientation, but text book mental illness. Just like we lock up guys who think they are Napoleon, or a hamster, we should lock up every guy who thinks he is a woman. There is literally NO difference whatsoever between them

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  • I can empothise with you I have been transgender most of my life. Got to the early 80s I was in the throes of transition hormone treatment. My family mainly my daughters were to young to appreciate what was happening but they thought they would have 2 mothers.
    But my biggest problem was me when I looked in the mirror I saw a guy in a dress not a woman. I felt like I was on top of a wall which ever way I went it felt like desaster. That was the first time I tried to kill myself. I couldn't even do that right but with help and tablets I came back from the edge. Now they have a name for it non binary for me I hate being a male but cannot be female and that is my life now !!!

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    • Hmm. That's an interesting story. I've seen thumbnails to Youtube videos about people who regret transitioning and wanna transition back. I guess sometimes people may think they want something, but they realize that they made a mistake.

    • I know what I want I want the real thing. But that is not possible I want to be a real woman not just a fake one. It's easy to have the change but it wouldn't make me happy. Women are more than a body it's the way they enbrace life. I look at my girls and even now cry why I cannot be like them !!! l

  • I’m not going out of my way to be an ass to them, but I don’t buy into it
    It’s a mental illness like any other and should be treated not encouraged

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  • yea.. still mental illness thread.

    if they don't bug me I don't care but be sure transgenders have blades under their tongues I despise being near them.

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  • I don't need or want to know any more than I already do about this subject.

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  • who cares? why do you even have the need to glorify this bullshit? its not a public issue, its a personal issue so keep it to yourself.

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What Girls Said 24

  • I have nothing against transgender people
    I have a few trans friends and I love them.

    My only problems is the lgbtqaaip2 community expecting the vast majority of the people to change their views and positions to cater to the needs of a minority.
    Not saying that basically decency is too much to ask for.

    1. They are NOT all the same!
    -- not all people of any group are the same, its a universal truth.

    2. Everyone's transition journey is different!
    -- the journey of every human being, trans or not, is different.

    3. 3. It's very, VERY DISRESPECTFUL to use their old pronouns!
    -- and its very disrespectful and entitled to demand that everyone use the pronouns that corelate with the gender they identify as.
    Referring to trans people by the gender they identify is an outcome of respect and decency, but its not a right to be called by the pronouns that you chose for yourself.

    4. Mental health issues occur a lot with transgender people!
    -- true, also the suicide rate is very high both pretty and post op, which is precisely why treating them differently and demanding special treatment is causing segregation rather than asking people to treat them like normal people which promotes inclusion.

    5. It can be VERY HARD for them to get into relationships!
    -- of course because people have preferences and irrespective of what you say, preferences aren't homophobic, trans phobic, or racist.
    Majority of humans like biological men or biological women or both. Thats who they are romantically and sexually attracted to.

    The part you told about having to disclose them being trans is the very reason for a lot of assaults on trans mtf. You can't expect people to me okay if they notice that both of them share the same genitalia.

    6. They have a harder time getting jobs!
    -- and your point 4 is one of the biggest reason why,
    They are disproportionately suicidal and suffer mental issues than non transsexual individuals thus for an employer making them the last option to recruit.

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    • disrespectful to refer to someone as the gender they OBJECTIVELY ARE? You are encouraging mental illness and I would gladly put duct tape across your mouth to prevent you from furthering mental illness. Stop telling the schizophrenic the voices are real, these people are on track TO PERMANENTLY MUTILATE THEIR BODIES destroying their reproductive organs in the process and eliminating the possibility of ever having children, often at an age so young they are not yet fit to make such a life long decision. DURR EMOTIONS AND SHIT fuck off retard report this comment if it makes you feel better but the facts are the facts and turning a dick inside out DOESN'T MAKE YOU A WOMEN IT MAKES YOU A MUTILATED MAN

    • @Goochbreaker sir , have you had a little too much to drink?
      I didn't even say anything that related to the points that you seem to be refuting.
      Take care sir, and try to read thoroughly before you start running your mouth.

    • re read your comment and no i quit drinking almost a year ago im the soberest i've ever been and it's painful to see BRAINWASHED IDIOTS reciting RHETORIC and thinking my points don't apply to their comments which they themselves are seemingly too STUPID to re read and realize the relevance.

  • Unrelated to how to treats trans people, but i do feel like it’s a “trend” to be trans, and i’ve heard of a lot of people regretting changing lately.

    I fear the parents that have little kids saying “i am a boy”/“i am a girl” and then say their kids are trans. No. Your child is under the influence of societal norms that say if someone likes cars, playing roughly, has short hair etc is a boy and someone that plays gently, is caring, has long hair and wears dresses is a girl. Children do not understand this fully and choosing to raise them as a different gender then they’re born is odd to me. Because this means you treat girls/boys differently, and thus feel the need to raise them entirely different. If we all were a bit more gender neutral, this wouldn’t happen. Kids that are like 18 years old wouldn’t undergo fucking sex changes only to regret it later in life.

    Transgenderism is often “diagnosed” entirely wrong. You have people saying “they’ve felt like a boy/girl all their life”. How would you know what that’s like? How does anyone know what feeling like a boy/girl feels like?

    Other than that negative aspect i see, I think transgenderism should still be accepted, it’s their body and not mine after all. People can do whatever they want to their own body. Cut off a limb for all I care. I’ll try to adapt so they feel better, as long as they do the same for me.

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  • They should get psychological help, surgeries should only be done for health reasons. Those people will never truly be what they wish to be, I'm following a docu about them and their transition. They're still as depressed afterwards.

    A company cannot fire people based on their gender, skin color or sexual orientation. They could be sued for this. So if that was the case with your boyfriend he should have sued them. It's a bit of crap just like the "gender wage gap". Some people just can't hold down jobs.

    If they were born with female reproductive organs they are female, if male reproductive organs they are male. Simple as that. Of course if you are close with someone that would like it ot be called he or she, out of respect I would. But I'd find it incredibly weird and complicated to do this for a stranger.

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    • I'm not looking to change your mind, but to simply give them the same respect that you'd give to anyone.

    • Respect is earned.
      Basic politeness is part of a good upbringing.
      I don't treat people bad unless they do the same to me.

  • Not everyone is going to want to date a transgender. That is something they are going to have to accept.

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  • I have a transgender FTM friend. Before he transitioned we would chat a hell lot however later on I grew up and became more busy with studies so I text him very very less now. And I'm still not used to it because by the time he transitioned I didn't contact him much so to me it still feels like he changed overnight. As a result I end up calling him by his old name or the wrong pronoun too frequently, by mistake. 😭

    He's nice tho. I wish to get back in touch with him soon.

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  • I'm going off on a bit of a tangent, but one thing I don't understand is how society can't accept something so concrete like sex at birth, but then not want to accept people to claiming to be of a certain race or ethnicity thats "not their own" which is so vague.

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  • Nice take! I really don't get why some people outright refuse use the new pronoun. It's not a difficult thing to do.. it's as if you just deliberately want and relish in hurting other's feelings.

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    • I think you have hit the nail on the head, you will also find it is more likely to be Men that have the trouble understanding it all.

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    • So who the fuck wants to date a faggot pretending to be a girl?

    • No offence but this is ridiculous, if your gay stay gay, don’t change your gender. If your a homosexual male, stay a homosexual male, don’t try to trick other straight men into thinking your a female, that is unethical

  • I don't hate people who are GAY/LESBIAN/Bisexual and trans... they are humans too. But I don't bother saying anything against or in favor.

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  • People are people... if the world would get that it would be a better place

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  • I don’t understand how it’s “disrespectful” to call a she a she and a he a he. What ever gender you were born as is what I will refer to you as.

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  • Great take :)

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    • Thank you! I feel like I should write more takes, as I have many opinions and advice to offer. I just don't know what to write about next.

    • You could always google suggestions? that usually helps me figure it out

  • Awesome mytake!

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  • great take!

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  • Um..

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  • cool

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  • One very important thing- while being trans is a major part of who you are, it's still merely a part of who you are. It doesn't override every other aspect of you, you're still a person just like everybody else.

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  • Lovely Xx

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  • Interesting!

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  • Live and let live

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  • Thanks

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