"The amount of people a girl/guy has slept with does not matter." It matters to me. I find an excess of sexual history a turn off. It's just a part of my sexuality and I don't think it's all that strange for guys. You do you and I would call you a slut, I just wouldn't be as interested. Again, it's a turnoff.
"Humans are biologically wired to sleep around." They're also wired to invest in a partner. Stop trying to use biology as an excuse.
"It doens't affect who you are" I think it does, a great deal. Nothing so exhilarating and 'beautiful' is just a throw away experience (even when you treat it as one), it's obviously incredibly impactful on the human experience.
I dont care if you're fucking around, but one thing is for sure I would not engage in a long term relationship with someone who fucjks every weekend.
Multiple studies show that the more sexual partners a women have the more likely it is that she will cheat. Also having many partners is emotional baggade for women, they are damaged. According to studies. The study also shows that a girl will experience the same emotional baggade after one sexujal partner as guys will after 19. This is becasue sex i emotinal for girls, and not neceserally for guys.
So by all means be "sluts" I will not shame you or hate, but I will never date you. Thats just the hard cold truth.
Or, we could just stop being pussies and learn that you can't change assholes who want to label you. It'll never go away, no matter how much we preach about it, so the only real solution is to stop valuing what shitheads have to say.
Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. The next Time Around Gag Town, How about this One, hun: "Why Persecuting Christians and Taking The Lord's Name out of Everything, Needs to Stop. What a Shame."xx
There's a reason there are double standards for men and women (the first being that men & women *are* different).
It's the man's job to woo the woman to sleep with him. A man who can do this to many women is, therefore, held in high regard.
A woman who allows herself to be wooed by many men is considered "easy" and not worthy of much respect (because she gives it up, apparently, indiscriminately).
I'm not saying these are right or wrong, just that this is how our culture views men & women.
Exactly. Humans are animals (and that includes girls!) and animals just like to fuck. No one should be shamed for doing what they are naturally wired to do! I'm glad you agree.
Men aren't slut shamed to the extent women are. Yes, they're called fuckboys and players, but that doesn't have the same dirty, horrible connotations calling a 13,14,15 year old girl a slut, a whore, a hoe, does.
Keep in mind girls are slut shamed mainly by other girls, so please don't go all Feminist. And I think guys are very badly slut-shamed. Being called a fuckboy is worse than a hoe. A hoe is just an insult girls use to put each other down or what guy's say to label "easy" girls. it's bad but I think that once guys are labelled players or fuckboys, girls no longer want them for anything more than sex. Fuckboys pretty much get used for sex and girls don't wanna date them and stuff. And trust me that shit hurts, knowing girls only think of you as a sex object and you aren't worth anything more. So please do not say guys don't get slut-shamed as badly. They do. Both genders do.
Im not a feminist, I'm an egilitarian. And, men slut shame girls more then girls do. Saying you sell your body for money is NOT as bad as saying you go from girl to girl. While I respect what you said and your side, as someone who suffered from a lot of unwanted sexual attention and had to deal with being called a slut, a whore, a prostitute, and saw my guy friends being called a fuckboy- women have it worse in the world of slut shaming.
I still think girls insult each other a lot more. Some girls are literal hookers and goldiggers, and their insults are justified. As a guy, being thought of as a purely sexual object for girls is horrible. I agree that girls get it bad too but don't say that guys get off the hook because trust me they don't. Guys might not get meaninglessly insulted, but their entire self worth plummets.
"Not to mention the havoc it can wreck on a young girls self esteem." Well, she could just NOT be a slut. Then she probably wouldn't have to deal with the consequences.
12 and 13, probably not, but let's be honest - we probably both know 14 year old girls who have been with more than one guy. Out of the top of my head i can recall at least 6 girls who had more than active sex life by their 15th birthday. And these are closereally acquaintances. And sure enough - they are rather messed up in the head right around now - one is a gold diggers, one hates men, one is a single mothers, one has serious issues with her romantic and private life, one was sexually assaulted/raped... I could go on.
@Benedek38 I dont think having sex at that age is natural or okay, and its technically illegal since its statutory rape, as minors can't consent. What I was referring to was myself, as I was an early bloomer and had a D cup around that age, and because of my body at a young age I was constantly slut shamed by peers and even adults. Ironically, I've been a complete prude all my life.
I get where you are coming from, but I think what you describe is not slut shaming, just regular bullying. I was bullied because I was ugly and a bit chubby. Some people are bullied because they are poor, or because they are rich. Some because they are nice, some because they are assholes. Some because they are ugly... and in your case, apparently because you were too pretty. Kids can be cruel. But trying to regulate them is like putting a leash on a cat - it might work, but you'll just end up doing more harm than good. I know this sounds evil, but they attend school for a reason -/to grow out of these stupid habbits in an environment where they can cause the least damage. Taking this outlet from them will lead to them finding other, less regulated outlets. Many of my "friends" were smoking and drinking by the age of 12 or 13, in schooltime, outside of the school, skipping classes. Why? Because they didn't like the teacher. Imagine if you told these kids to not pick on pretty girl...
Not my love. People who sleep around don't have the same concept of love and of what's important in life that I do anyway. Regardless, if they're free to make their own choices, so am I! Why would I have to settle for someone with different values and with whom I'm not compatible with?
Great exchange here. That is exactly the difference. This guy obviously identifies with sluttiness therefore he defends it and claims the other gender does/is the same. Smh...
I think shaming people for bad behaviors is there for a reason. Stop trying to make sluts good people. They know what the do and it's not recommendable.
@snowangle Sluts don't just have free sex. They are usually people who cheat, two-time, string people along and take other women's men. That's what makes sluts bad, not loving sex
- That makes cheating bad; not sex. - Two timing is the same thing. - Stringing people along, same thing. That's its own problem and definitely not exclusive to "sluts." - If another woman's man can be taken so easily, then that's his problem. People in relationships should be loyal, because there will always be temptation.
I see the point you're trying to make, but the majority of people who use the word "slut" are referring to women who simply have a lot of sex.
@snowangle Wrong. I have a lot of sex and I'm not a slut. Slut means unethical behavior related in a sexual context. And you show your true colors when you say "If a woman's man is so easily taken.." That implies that it is somehow on the woman to keep a man loyal and not the behavior on the part of the person taking the man. If you take another woman's man, deliberately, you are a slut. It's the definition of hoeing around. Not whether you have a lot of sex or enjoy it.
I don't know why it exists. Everyone knows girls just like getting fucked and stuff so I really don't see anything wrong with that. Not to mention every girls has been with like dozens of people so seen as every girl does it i don't see a reason to shame.
Enjoying sex alone doesn't make you a slut. I don't know why that keeps being conflated. It's when you use your sexuality in situations that you could use something else entirely to get your way, take someone's man just because you can, or destroy a home. That's being a slut. Not enjoying sex. By that definition, everyone would be a slut.
Just because people disagree with your choices doesn't mean they don't enjoy sex. I pity people who think only their way of having sex is the right way. Lying, cheating, manipulating, homewrecking or seducing married people and coupled up folks is not ok. And that's what I usually associate with sluttiness. A woman who uses her sexuality in a way that hurts others. That's what people don't like, not having fun and enjoying sex.
I agree , however " Girls like and want casual sex " is not really female nature in general , only a small minority do , also the female sex drive is much lower than the male on average , testosterone is why. Men get bashed by women and " society " just for having typical male libidos. Either way all " shaming " is total BS and should stop !!
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Anonymous
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You forgot the most important reason not to slut shame-there is already a shortage of pussy. (yes I know that 51% of the Earth owns one but getting them to share it can be quite a chore). Slut shaming just adds to this shortage! Actually, I and most guys I know appreciate Sluts greatly! If you look behind the feminist rhetoric you will find its mostly women slut shaming other women-women are upset with sluts because they mean that they cannot act as entitled in order to grant access because alternatives are out there. Its basic economics really
So you are saying that women who don't sleep around or save themselves for someone special are being entitled? In another lifetime that used to be called having standards, but hey.
@Samehere00 the subject was slut shaming and I made the point that women themselves are the primary shamers and why they are the primary shamers-it messes up the "sexual economy". They lower the "cost" of getting laid. Sometimes that "cost" is a lobster dinner and 3-5 dates, sometimes that cost is a ring, sometimes that cost is a drink
I haven't noticed any such thing but ok. I'm not saying women don't slut shame but in the end it's men who judge women the harshest either way. It's really a decoy to say women hate other women. It's men who instigate it.
Uh, no, girls are NOT similar to guys, and sleeping around and being a slut, riding the cock-carousel is NOT make one desirable. A woman's virtue definitely has value. Besides, whores get more respect in western culture than sluts do. If they want to sleep around why not charge for it?
Could always try not being a slut. Sex is natural. Slutting it up isn't. Stop making excuses for people who have little to no self control. Learning to develop self control is part of being an adult, and we do ridicule people for not growing up.
Sure, at the most basic, animalistic level, but what makes us unique is our ability to overcome our biological urges. And we do ridicule people for acting like animals.
Well, yeah, but there are some girls who really are one, and admit they are. I mean I know this one girl who practiced playing fortnite and be 'good' so she can get closer to the guys. Also, she told me and some girls she's dating all of them at once...
@HOAAH yeah, but it's a choice and as long as they aren't in a relationship and not harming or putting anyone at risk (meaning , getting regular std checks, being honest if they have one, etc.) and keeping one sexual partner at a time I really don't think it should matter?
I wouldn't recommend that anyone have casual sex, one night stands, etc.
It is unfair that society labels/judges women for only doing a quarter of what guys do. If we judge others and call others nasty names, that's just a reflection on us. (And have you noticed; often, when a person calls someone else nasty names/passes judgement, it's often how they feel about themselves? )
No act "needs" anything. What you mean is that people should stop doing it. But then you have to ask yourself why people do it and are there good reasons. "Murder needs to stop" Get it?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
71Opinion
"The amount of people a girl/guy has slept with does not matter."
It matters to me.
I find an excess of sexual history a turn off. It's just a part of my sexuality and I don't think it's all that strange for guys.
You do you and I would call you a slut, I just wouldn't be as interested. Again, it's a turnoff.
"Humans are biologically wired to sleep around."
They're also wired to invest in a partner. Stop trying to use biology as an excuse.
"It doens't affect who you are"
I think it does, a great deal.
Nothing so exhilarating and 'beautiful' is just a throw away experience (even when you treat it as one), it's obviously incredibly impactful on the human experience.
I dont care if you're fucking around, but one thing is for sure I would not engage in a long term relationship with someone who fucjks every weekend.
Multiple studies show that the more sexual partners a women have the more likely it is that she will cheat. Also having many partners is emotional baggade for women, they are damaged. According to studies. The study also shows that a girl will experience the same emotional baggade after one sexujal partner as guys will after 19. This is becasue sex i emotinal for girls, and not neceserally for guys.
So by all means be "sluts" I will not shame you or hate, but I will never date you. Thats just the hard cold truth.
If you're offended, I don care.
I don't know where I stand on this. I've never slut shamed a girl. I guess this only happens online.
You'd have to be a sociopath to call a girl a slut or whore in public. Or extremely drunk.
Women usually are the ones who slut shame each other. Guys usually label sluts and use them only for sex.
The worrisome part is, for me, the STD epidemic.
Pretty much nobody is getting tested more than once a year unless they see symptoms, and SOO many people either dont have or dont notice the symptoms.
Someone who engages in casual sex is the most likely to unknowingly transmit these diseases.
And? Catching STDs is natural and it shows how much of a player you are!
Or, we could just stop being pussies and learn that you can't change assholes who want to label you. It'll never go away, no matter how much we preach about it, so the only real solution is to stop valuing what shitheads have to say.
Wow very negative and nothing but name calling.
Right.
She has a point tho
@ThisDudeHere I do indeed.
People who dislike sluts are amazing people.
Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck.
The next Time Around Gag Town, How about this One, hun: "Why Persecuting Christians and Taking The Lord's Name out of Everything, Needs to Stop. What a Shame."xx
I agree. But this site is way too atheist and liberal for that.
There's a reason there are double standards for men and women (the first being that men & women *are* different).
It's the man's job to woo the woman to sleep with him. A man who can do this to many women is, therefore, held in high regard.
A woman who allows herself to be wooed by many men is considered "easy" and not worthy of much respect (because she gives it up, apparently, indiscriminately).
I'm not saying these are right or wrong, just that this is how our culture views men & women.
Amazing Take. Not to mention the havoc it can wreck on a young girls self esteem.
Exactly. Humans are animals (and that includes girls!) and animals just like to fuck. No one should be shamed for doing what they are naturally wired to do! I'm glad you agree.
Also don't forget guys get slut-shamed too. Don't only focus on girls, that's unfair.
Men aren't slut shamed to the extent women are. Yes, they're called fuckboys and players, but that doesn't have the same dirty, horrible connotations calling a 13,14,15 year old girl a slut, a whore, a hoe, does.
Keep in mind girls are slut shamed mainly by other girls, so please don't go all Feminist. And I think guys are very badly slut-shamed. Being called a fuckboy is worse than a hoe. A hoe is just an insult girls use to put each other down or what guy's say to label "easy" girls. it's bad but I think that once guys are labelled players or fuckboys, girls no longer want them for anything more than sex. Fuckboys pretty much get used for sex and girls don't wanna date them and stuff. And trust me that shit hurts, knowing girls only think of you as a sex object and you aren't worth anything more. So please do not say guys don't get slut-shamed as badly. They do. Both genders do.
Im not a feminist, I'm an egilitarian. And, men slut shame girls more then girls do. Saying you sell your body for money is NOT as bad as saying you go from girl to girl. While I respect what you said and your side, as someone who suffered from a lot of unwanted sexual attention and had to deal with being called a slut, a whore, a prostitute, and saw my guy friends being called a fuckboy- women have it worse in the world of slut shaming.
I still think girls insult each other a lot more. Some girls are literal hookers and goldiggers, and their insults are justified. As a guy, being thought of as a purely sexual object for girls is horrible. I agree that girls get it bad too but don't say that guys get off the hook because trust me they don't. Guys might not get meaninglessly insulted, but their entire self worth plummets.
Women are a lot harder on other women then men are.
"Not to mention the havoc it can wreck on a young girls self esteem."
Well, she could just NOT be a slut. Then she probably wouldn't have to deal with the consequences.
@Benedek38 I don’t see how a 12/13/14 year old girl could be a slut if she’s not having sex.
12 and 13, probably not, but let's be honest - we probably both know 14 year old girls who have been with more than one guy. Out of the top of my head i can recall at least 6 girls who had more than active sex life by their 15th birthday. And these are closereally acquaintances.
And sure enough - they are rather messed up in the head right around now - one is a gold diggers, one hates men, one is a single mothers, one has serious issues with her romantic and private life, one was sexually assaulted/raped... I could go on.
@Benedek38 I dont think having sex at that age is natural or okay, and its technically illegal since its statutory rape, as minors can't consent.
What I was referring to was myself, as I was an early bloomer and had a D cup around that age, and because of my body at a young age I was constantly slut shamed by peers and even adults. Ironically, I've been a complete prude all my life.
I get where you are coming from, but I think what you describe is not slut shaming, just regular bullying. I was bullied because I was ugly and a bit chubby. Some people are bullied because they are poor, or because they are rich. Some because they are nice, some because they are assholes. Some because they are ugly... and in your case, apparently because you were too pretty.
Kids can be cruel. But trying to regulate them is like putting a leash on a cat - it might work, but you'll just end up doing more harm than good. I know this sounds evil, but they attend school for a reason -/to grow out of these stupid habbits in an environment where they can cause the least damage. Taking this outlet from them will lead to them finding other, less regulated outlets. Many of my "friends" were smoking and drinking by the age of 12 or 13, in schooltime, outside of the school, skipping classes. Why? Because they didn't like the teacher. Imagine if you told these kids to not pick on pretty girl...
All is fine as long as they aren't dating me or people close to me.
That is slut shaming. Guys who've slept with lots of girls deserve love too. Don't be mean.
Not my love. People who sleep around don't have the same concept of love and of what's important in life that I do anyway.
Regardless, if they're free to make their own choices, so am I! Why would I have to settle for someone with different values and with whom I'm not compatible with?
I guess you're right but when guys have that opinion towards girls they are still called sexist are and "slut-shaming".
They're only sexist if they think it's an okay behaviour for them, but not for girls. I personally think it's not okay for either gender.
Great exchange here. That is exactly the difference. This guy obviously identifies with sluttiness therefore he defends it and claims the other gender does/is the same. Smh...
I think shaming people for bad behaviors is there for a reason. Stop trying to make sluts good people. They know what the do and it's not recommendable.
But who says sex is a bad behavior? As long as they're safe, what's the problem?
@snowangle Sluts don't just have free sex. They are usually people who cheat, two-time, string people along and take other women's men. That's what makes sluts bad, not loving sex
- That makes cheating bad; not sex.
- Two timing is the same thing.
- Stringing people along, same thing. That's its own problem and definitely not exclusive to "sluts."
- If another woman's man can be taken so easily, then that's his problem. People in relationships should be loyal, because there will always be temptation.
I see the point you're trying to make, but the majority of people who use the word "slut" are referring to women who simply have a lot of sex.
@snowangle Wrong. I have a lot of sex and I'm not a slut. Slut means unethical behavior related in a sexual context. And you show your true colors when you say "If a woman's man is so easily taken.." That implies that it is somehow on the woman to keep a man loyal and not the behavior on the part of the person taking the man. If you take another woman's man, deliberately, you are a slut. It's the definition of hoeing around. Not whether you have a lot of sex or enjoy it.
Quite the opposite; I put the responsibility of staying loyal on the MAN. Not sure where you got that idea lol.
@snowangle Well then that's great. It was your first part of the sentence that made it sound like you don't
Loyalty shouldn't matter. Sex is natural and shaming people for cheating is very wrong.
AMEN!
@Taylor47
Are you serious?
I like sex, and I've been called a slut, probably even more behind my back.
I don't really care. Sex is something I enjoy and I pity people who are so prudish that they cannot enjoy it. How miserable for them.
However, I am also sick of people being so damned sensitive about what other people think. If people want to "shame" me, good luck.
I don't know why it exists. Everyone knows girls just like getting fucked and stuff so I really don't see anything wrong with that. Not to mention every girls has been with like dozens of people so seen as every girl does it i don't see a reason to shame.
Enjoying sex alone doesn't make you a slut. I don't know why that keeps being conflated. It's when you use your sexuality in situations that you could use something else entirely to get your way, take someone's man just because you can, or destroy a home. That's being a slut. Not enjoying sex. By that definition, everyone would be a slut.
Just because people disagree with your choices doesn't mean they don't enjoy sex. I pity people who think only their way of having sex is the right way. Lying, cheating, manipulating, homewrecking or seducing married people and coupled up folks is not ok. And that's what I usually associate with sluttiness. A woman who uses her sexuality in a way that hurts others. That's what people don't like, not having fun and enjoying sex.
I agree , however " Girls like and want casual sex " is not really female nature in general , only a small minority do , also the female sex drive is much lower than the male on average , testosterone is why. Men get bashed by women and " society " just for having typical male libidos. Either way all " shaming " is total BS and should stop !!
You forgot the most important reason not to slut shame-there is already a shortage of pussy. (yes I know that 51% of the Earth owns one but getting them to share it can be quite a chore). Slut shaming just adds to this shortage! Actually, I and most guys I know appreciate Sluts greatly! If you look behind the feminist rhetoric you will find its mostly women slut shaming other women-women are upset with sluts because they mean that they cannot act as entitled in order to grant access because alternatives are out there. Its basic economics really
So you are saying that women who don't sleep around or save themselves for someone special are being entitled? In another lifetime that used to be called having standards, but hey.
@Samehere00 the subject was slut shaming and I made the point that women themselves are the primary shamers and why they are the primary shamers-it messes up the "sexual economy". They lower the "cost" of getting laid. Sometimes that "cost" is a lobster dinner and 3-5 dates, sometimes that cost is a ring, sometimes that cost is a drink
I haven't noticed any such thing but ok. I'm not saying women don't slut shame but in the end it's men who judge women the harshest either way. It's really a decoy to say women hate other women. It's men who instigate it.
Uh, no, girls are NOT similar to guys, and sleeping around and being a slut, riding the cock-carousel is NOT make one desirable. A woman's virtue definitely has value.
Besides, whores get more respect in western culture than sluts do. If they want to sleep around why not charge for it?
Could always try not being a slut. Sex is natural. Slutting it up isn't. Stop making excuses for people who have little to no self control. Learning to develop self control is part of being an adult, and we do ridicule people for not growing up.
Having sex with many people IS natural. It's what humans wee biologically wired to do.
Sure, at the most basic, animalistic level, but what makes us unique is our ability to overcome our biological urges. And we do ridicule people for acting like animals.
We are animals though.
Well, yeah, but there are some girls who really are one, and admit they are. I mean I know this one girl who practiced playing fortnite and be 'good' so she can get closer to the guys. Also, she told me and some girls she's dating all of them at once...
Well like every girl sleeps around so I guess you are all sluts. I don't know why you shame each other.
not every girl sleeps around...
@HOAAH yeah, but it's a choice and as long as they aren't in a relationship and not harming or putting anyone at risk (meaning , getting regular std checks, being honest if they have one, etc.) and keeping one sexual partner at a time I really don't think it should matter?
@c0ral_reef I was talking to the Taylor47 guy, he assumes we are all sluts.
Not all guys are looking for casual sex, and a slut is not a wife material. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw8luwwwXzctvtropes.org/.../MadonnaWhoreComplex
" There are no consequences to having many partners, so don't worry about a guy/girl's partner count. It doesn't change anything."
Yes there are. Mental issues. And the vagina becomes too loose.
I don't understand the "mental issues" and the vagina becoming loose thing is a false myth.
Right, well. Be with a prostitute, then be with a virgin if you think it's a myth.
Well most girls have had their fair share of dick so I don't think it really matters.
I wouldn't recommend that anyone have casual sex, one night stands, etc.
It is unfair that society labels/judges women for only doing a quarter of what guys do. If we judge others and call others nasty names, that's just a reflection on us. (And have you noticed; often, when a person calls someone else nasty names/passes judgement, it's often how they feel about themselves? )
The word slut in itself is a nasty word now?
No act "needs" anything. What you mean is that people should stop doing it. But then you have to ask yourself why people do it and are there good reasons.
"Murder needs to stop" Get it?
Yeah slut-shaming will never stop but it's good to just debate and stuff.
Exactly