Hesitant to talk to any girl (even online) [Long Story]

I like this girl from school (she was/is really cute). We just used ti have normal conversations. Then i had to stay in hostel for 7 years. SO I lost contact. But after that, I found her (with great difficulty) and proposed her. She rejected, saying she is interested in arranged marriage only (yes we are Indian). Then I tried to hav normal conversation through phone. She stopped picking up. I tried to contact her through whatsapp in the weekends (i thought messaging her 24 x 7 would be annoying) And, she blocked me. in whatsapp. I'm just too confused now. I dont say i hav the charms of a celebrity, but i did get 2-3 proposals in college and i turned them all down, coz i was blindly behind this girl. Now I'm lost. Now I'm too hesitant even to start a conversation with any girl. When i go to college its just hi-bye conversations, 2 minutes max. I realized I'm going mad and losing self-confidence so i thought may be i could chat with some stranger online. I only hav friends (from college and school) and relatives in FB so I found THIS site by mistake. Its really good. I liked sharing my opinions on peoples problems or queries. Made me happy that I'm making somebody feel good (even if most posts are anonymous). Then I saw some Indian girls her and followed them. (Clicked follow, I'm not stalking them) This morning, I thought Of PMing one of them and get to know her a little. Some normal conversation. But I cant. I'm deleting and retyping hi, hello and similar pleasantries in the chat box, and very hesitant to click send. (I hav even sexted girls in the past, 2-3 years back). I donno what's wrong with me. I can post my opinion on hundreds of questions. Comment on other peoples opinions, they are all a piece of cake. But I can start a normal person -person conversation, even online, even if its a random stranger over the internet. Is it possible for me to become normal again? Or Am i gonna be like this forever? :(
Hesitant to talk to any girl (even online) [Long Story]
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