How do I rise above myself?

i admit that i'm a bit averse to guys for plenty of reasons.
i frequently encounter creepy assholes and i was molested by my father around 12
i KNOW not all guys are like this, i frequently meet good people
i don't avoid talking to men in general, or smiling to them in friendly situations if you are curious

heck, i've already worked for and gained accomplishments so that i feel secure and confident of myself
i also constantly feed my mind
i KNOW i'm not at fault

but when the time comes that a good guy approaches ( esp guys who have potential to be great partners), try to flirt, and know me more than I tell, I clam up, flashbacks occur, feel like i don't want to share, think that, what if i fall, and soon, i'd really have to tell, what if he can't handle it, so i avoid. *sigh* most often i think that they feel that i rejected them nicely even if i did not mean too. *sigh* nothing might happen to me if i continue like this. i have trust issues and i think i can't handle any more heartbreaks. plus i also know you can't get the right person the first try so it will mean potentially disclosing myself to a lot of men.

i'm 24, NBSB : p
just so u know, im not crying or emoting while i'm creating this so please kindly save the pity party. thank you very much
How do I rise above myself?
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