I guess i have to admit to myself, im afraid of women, afraid of how they perceive me, afraid of what they say behind my back. Growing up I was made to believe I would always be beneath being able to get a girlfriend, and every girl I ever liked rejected me in the worst way and that only reinforced it. I always saw girls go after the guys they liked, but never me. I also remember every time I liked a girl that one of my buddies also liked he would make it a point to humiliate me so he could get her and would tell me I had no right to like a girl such as her. This has led to some major fears in my life. Even though now I am a completely successful commercial pilot at 25 and happy with my life in that sense. I find now I can get a date, but... when Im with that girl Im extremely nervous and afraid. I can't help but see her as above me in every regard. I wait for her approval, and afraid to make advances out of fear she will label me as some kind of creep. (Which a girl has called me to my face before)... I know this is a problem, but how do I cope?
I should mention years of self image issues didn't help either, I resigned myself for 6 years and ignored every girl. Until this June a girl came after me. She was a 10, not gonna lie, but whats a guy like me gonna do with a girl like that? We went on 5 dates, she gave me my first kiss, taught me how to hold hands and make out. We held each other under the stars. One day she told me I was getting too attached and didn't want to lead me on. This broke me completely, and only made my fears worse.