What should I do? I'm so confused?

I had this fight with a guy last year and it's still in my mind cus our families are feeding and our brothers are friends and in the same class. And I just saw him yesterday and we both ignored each other but it made my feel like crap.
So... What Happened..
We were in the same class since k and when we went into highschool this whole thing started all over again. So in eighth grade everyone was saying I liked this guy (let's call him J) so me and j say next to each other the whole year during 7thgrade. We became good friends and we had this clay person and made like a home for it and stuff. Then in 8th grade we talked and stuff and I was also talking to this other guy and he was saying that he's a jerk and makes shit up. So then I was like ok ill talk to him about it and u can be with me and then it turned into j talking to the guy. So that made a big deal and he just got mad at me all the time. Then also in 8th grade we would do this thing that I would call him short and he would call me something back and we started doing it in highschool but he got pissed. Then my friend was snapchatting everyone and j just answered fuck you so I talked to him about it texting and I was like what's up like why did you say that and later jn he kept calling me a jerk and stuff and said that we were never friends when we obviously were... So then I just apologized for calling him short and stuff and he still didn't want to be friends with me/ forgive me so I just can't stop thinking about it and I know I hurt rt him and I want him to forgive me but I just don't know how to get it out of my mind/ try to resolve everything I just need advice...
Updates:
+1 y
Sorry that it's so long..
What should I do? I'm so confused?
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