Wonderful question. Great points. People just don't make much sense, do they? They cry about being pregnant or getting someone pregnant, yet they think sex all the time is something you can't live without.
Yes! And you're only 13, but you understand that better than many adults do!
Tell the adults that!Thanks, by the way ;-)
I LOVE how you're under 18, but have more sense than many older people do!!!
Have an opinion?
Mutual sexual desire is a requirement in relationships, I'd say. In the early stages it might be uncertain, but ultimately if people don't feel wanted sexually, they don't feel wanted -at all-.So the question is can you feel sexually desired by someone you're not being sexually intimate with? Maybe, for a while. How long depends on circumstances. If you're both religious and virgins, you might both easily believe that the other is burning with desire and only their faith gives them the strength to wait until marriage.If you'd like to have sex and your partner doesn't because they're not ready, you might respect that for a while, but ultimately will start thinking 'they can't really want me too much or they'd be overcoming the 'not ready' thing.If you want sex and your partner doesn't because they're afraid of pregnancy, you probably work around it. If they're not despearately doing everything that cant' result in kids, and at least considering and struggling with the temptation and questioning if some combination of birth control would be sufficient... you'd start thinking they didn't want it.Now that's all on TOP of other reasons people want sex - simply because they enjoy it. So it's sort of a double thing:- sexual desire is a requirement in a relationship and ultimately people won't believe it if there doesn't seem to be any- before people enter a relationship and are deeply in love, they have little incentive to enter a sexless one when they could just as easily spend their time dating someone with similar views on sex, which is something they crave and enjoy, a lot. This is less 'sex is needed' and more 'sex is awesome, so why would I forego it?"
But why start desperately doing anything, when getting pregnant is the NATURAL result of having sex?
Lust. If the other person doesn't feel it for you, then most of us feel unwanted.On top of which stacking several birth control methods can make the odds of pregnancy extremely low. At some point people are being paranoid. There are real, non-zero risks of dying every time you get in a car, walk across the street, etc. We eat food all the time that -might- have e-coli. Life isn't riskless. You take reasonable precautions. Can the odds of pregnancy be made very, very very low. Yes.
There are stories of women getting pregnant, while using condoms and BC so it's far from impossible.
There's a guy in the U. S. who has been hit by lightning 7 times. A lot of things are possible. I can understand ABSOLUTELY why you'd think no sex was a good idea. It's very logical. But if you desperately craved sex with someone, you'd manage the risks and do it.And if you wanted someone who desperately craved sex with you, and they were focused on the very small risks, you'd conclude they didn't crave it like you did.
I've also said, tbh, if someone was up for everything but intercourse till we were in a position to have kids, I'd consider that reasonable.That's you know theoretically if i was single and likely younger and... not me.Since I've had a vasectomy, confirmed. :D
I can see why people would feel that way... But getting pregnant on BC is more common than getting hit by lightning. lol.
It is, but if you stack pill + rhythm + withdrawal you'd probably be looking at 1 pregnancy in every 10000 years or so. And I'm not exaggerating.
yes, if they're doing all of that of course the risk would be extremely low... Although, do you know that vasectomies can fail sometimes too? The body is amazing isn't it?
It's pretty much unheard of for vasectomies to fail. What does happen is that the vasectomy wasn't successful in the first place and some men never bother getting it confirmed.
This should have received most helpful!
@neurolove His answer was really detailed, but I gave him MHO on quite a few of my questions already, lol Besides I love how the MHO is so young, but she understands better than quite a few adults do!
I don't understand why it's considered such a priority. People say consistent sexual desire is a prerequisite for a relationship and yes, sexual attraction is important, but i feel like if you take the relationship seriously WITHOUT sex and take the time to know you could love each other without, then the addition can only make the relationship better.As for why people give into desires with no plan to deal with the consequences, well that's just plain irresponsibility.
We can still strongly want something that has a potential unwanted side effect. Do you ever drive in cars? That's a fairly large risk, but how convenient they can make our lives is usually worth the risk.
Sex is about as required as an box 360 controller is for a PS3 - that is to say, it ISN'T. People in today's communities put sex on such a pedestal it's quite ridiculous if you ask me.
Yes, and then they don't want to deal with kids or STDs!
Yeah. You don't want the side effects, don't take the drug.
Be yourself. Some people make bad decisions and get into trouble with STDs, pregnancies, bad reputations they can't shake, and perhaps ending up in situations that they regret or are dangerous. Stay focused on what is impirtant to you. You will be leaving behind most of those you currently hang with anyway given your age.
Yep, I take those risks pretty seriously... although, I've met people my age who feel the same way too.
I have wondered the same. I personally feel that sex is an important part of a relationship, but certainly not a 'requirement'.
My opinion has got nothing to do with pregnancy, though.
Because I love sex and lots of it! If the girl I'm dating doesn't love sex then I don't see it working out...
It is a risk like any other risk. Dating is a risk. If you don't take risks, you'll lead a very boring life. It's like saying to never fall in love because you'll risk getting hurt.People just have an easier time bashing sex. There are plenty of ways to protect yourself and even though there may still be a risk, that is for them to decide. I seriously feel many couples that deal with condom breaks are either not wearing the condom properly (leaving room for the reservoir in particular) and/or are not storing then properly meaning temperatures are messing with them reducing their effectiveness.
Yes i agree with you they can't wait to get it thanwhen a unplanned pregnancy happens than allyou see is bunch of sadness, sorrow.
Nope. Guys are juz sum horny bastards. U nvr know when he's juz using u and onto another one by the time u notice. Im surprise at how many gurls wanna get into relationship juz as much as guys do. The numbah one reason why guys get into relationship is to get laid but y'all fall into the net. Guys juz wanna get laid so if u give in and get laid, I don't think u should blame a guy cuz it's ur responsibility as well and u have control over ur body. Sex isn't everything in a relationship. LUV is what keeps the relationship strong.
sister if you have protected sex with CONDOMS you can avoid pregnancy
There are unplanned pregnancies in marriages. For example my sister. What's your point?
Yes, and I didn't say I wasn't talking about married couples, lol. Although, at least if they're married they might have the finances to deal with the baby, and they both know who the other partner is.
Might have the finances? There are dirt poor married couples that pop out lots of kids that they can't afford. Married or not tax payers end up helping out. What really is your point?
Yes, that's why I said MIGHT, lol. My point is that why have sex, and then be surprised at the consequences, if at least biologically having a baby is the point of having intercourse?
If doing it purely for reproduction that would mean one could only have intercourse only a few times in a lifetime.
No, I'm saying why say it's required, but then be shocked if a baby happens?
Because if there is no sex, its friendship.
There are plenty of other sex acts to do...
Because it is. ...
SOME people don't want to deal with consequences
because it is... frigid girls are weird
Humans need love and affection (and to feel wanted), and making love is the primary way we express (and feel) intimate love and desire for one another, it's just how we're built. It may be old-fashioned to say, but when people talk about sex being a requirement, they really are mainly talking about the underlying emotional connection... that's why sex with someone you love is much better than sex with a stranger. And when people in sexless relationships discuss their problems, you'll find they tend to talk mainly about feeling 'lonely' and 'unloved' more than about mere 'sexual frustration' (though that's a problem too). Anyway, I cannot be in a relationship without those needs fulfilled, it's an expected part of a relationship, like, what would be the point if I'm not getting those basic needs met?@"getting pregnant is the NATURAL result of having sex? "Getting wet is the 'natural' result of rain, but we still wear raincoats, carry umbrellas, and build houses with roofs... we are well beyond being passively subject to everything nature throws at us.
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