Is he playing me?

There’s this guy at work that I initially found attractive. I use to observe him before, but that was because I was purely interested in learning who he was as a person. His judgment calls at work…I learned from coworkers that he had a temper and was a tough leader. But I didn't see or witness those traits, so I became quizzical (hence the observations at meetings). As time wore on I noticed him noticing me. One day, we accidentally locked eyes. During the entire time I was thinking, “I didn’t look away – don’t show submission- don't let him intimidate you”. He looked away first, and was a bit flushed. I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with someone in the office, especially one who recently became a family. So I gave him the cold shoulder. I continued to give him the cold shoulder, and he seemed to be trying hard to get my attention. Part of me is thinking that he’s being the better person… and I’m being immature.

Now here’s were I’m super confused. A mutual friend of ours posted on social media an advise to women about not pursuing taken men. To which another person replied that it’s up to the men in the relationship to say “no” and for the women to respect that decision. However, it’s ‘ok’ for the women to flirt or show/express their interests. To which he replied: “I’ll say ‘lol’ and leave it at that” (the comment was soon deleted)…

I felt bad, thinking maybe I was misreading the signs and leading him on. I tried again… same thing. Eye piercing contact. Time freezes when we lock eyes. I can't be my normal self around him anymore. I revert to being cold, which I must admit kills me inside because I’m overall friendly and nice to everyone.

What am I doing wrong? Does he like me? How should I proceed?
Is he playing me?
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