Will he ever grow up?

My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for four years. We have been living together now for over a year. I love him very much but he is addicted to World of Warcraft. I don't mind video games in the least, but he can't balance his real life with his WoW life. He will be 25 in December. He works 16 hours a week, doesn't have a high school degree, and rarely helps with the housework. I am in my last semester of full-time school. I work 30 hours a week and do the majority of the housework. Despite my busy schedule, I have to work around his WoW schedule if I expect to spend any time with him. He'll promise me his raid will only take 5 hours, but then it always ends up taking 7 or 8. If I question him about it, I get sworn and yelled at. I'll be graduating in December and I'm worried he will always be this big kid who throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I need him to be more responsible, ambitious, and adult-like. We've had MANY serious discussions which always result in empty promises. I love him so much and see an enormous amount of potential in him, but potential only goes so far and I'm sick of fighting with him. I don't know what to do anymore. Give him an ultimatum, just leave him, or wait for him to grow up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Does he know how you feel? If he does, then leave him. An ultimatum won't work. If it comes to that, you've lost. And if he does change, it will only be temporary. It's time to move on. He obviously doesn't feel the same way for you as you do for him, or have the same goals and aspirations. Obviously you're not a priority.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well my not so serious answer would be that despite the fact he seems to be playing A LOT he's not even good at it... damn, with all raids currently available I'm done in less than 10 hours :D And that would imply I actually do all of them which would be senseless...

    Now to my more serious answer ;)

    Talk to him. Make it clear to him that he holds his future in his hands and that you would like to have a man that can care for his family, too. He needs to realize that he needs to get a job and I'm not talking about 15-30 hours, I'm talking about a fulltime job 40hours+

    Video Games like WoW can be pretty addicting and if you have no job I assume the chance to falling into addiction are even higher for you are infront of your desk close to all day...

    As you have put yourself through quite a lot of thoughts about this whole situation I would even go so far to tell him an ultimatum... start with nice words that you see this whole potential in him etc... even though you probably did this a lot already, even though say it again... go over to your thoughts of wanting a man that's able to work for his family etc... (if that's the case, if not just tell him that you'd like him to finally grow up and work)... and you may even tell him the following:

    Tell him that you're wondering if you want to be with a man that's sitting at home all day playing video games. This should be enough of an ultimatum without actually telling him "Change or I leave"... Getting to know that you're actually wondering about this should be enough for him to finally take action...

    And if he doesn't change then... well... the final decision is up to you :(

    Hope this helps even though those might not be the brightest words.


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