Should i? Or should I not?

So i last year i went out with this guy we lasted for a pretty long time it was mostly a on and off thing. But we broke up and i hurt by going out with 2 of his friend which i know is completly wrong... but i still feel terrible like no joke he forgave his friends but i know he probably hates me i just dont know if i should give up on or try to talk to him i don't what to do i feel like complete caca (crap) and to every one else iam the bad guy of that relationship... wrost thing is it kills me to see him happy while i feel like shit about it. I dont know if that means i still like him but need help to figure this out
Should i? Or should I not?
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