Why the fuck would America want the U. K?

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I've seen that question raised a couple of times.
It seems like no one is thinking of our opinion.
U. K Gagers, let me make this clear,
We have our problems to deal with and every way I think about this it causes more and some even worse than our worst.
First the U. K would end up being a state with the population of California or so which is our most populated state.
Then there is that whole Northern Ireland thing which would probably start acting up again and that whole Car bombs and troops in the street of our nation thing just doesn't sound good.
Then we'd have to deal with your whole royalty thing and the American solution to that depends on what kind of day we are having, Line em up against a wall and shoot them (Bad Day) or just get rid of the whole system, take everything they own and leave them with nothing, and give it to the government (Good day) which would cause problems with the populace.
Another thing is that the Islands we get are rather resource poor, Some islands in carribean, some windswept desolate subantarctic islands, and some islands off the coast of south america that for some reason despite basically being subantarctic rocks with nothing of importance had a war waged over them.
Another is that Puerto Rico already voted and said they wanted to be a State and I REALLY like Puerto Rico.
Thats just the ones I can think of in five minutes so basically It'd be a giant clusterfuck any way it happens.
Dear U. K, We are better as friends not joined together.
You guys are cool though
Why the fuck would America want the U. K?
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