Why would a Feminist woman want a guy to be Chivalrous towards her?

Why would a feminist want a guy to open doors, pay for dates etc.. and live up to male gender roles if she is fighting for gender equality and wanting to end gender roles? Don't you think this is a bit hypocritical of feminist?

Updates:
I'm talking specifically about dating, and not how you treat random people. So Im ask why do men have to uphold their gender roles, yet feminist who want to end gender roles still expect men to be chivalrous?

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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • Arrogance and selfishness. Some people want all the benefits and none of the pitfalls. Their mentality just doesn't comprehend the world doesn't revolve around one person and compromises must be made. People like that are just a nightmare for everybody as you've seen. I can understand a kid having no sense of empathy or fairness but a grown woman? It's a mental illness

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What Girls Said 8

  • It's quite simple. Holding doors open for people is about having manners. I'm a woman and I always hold doors open for both men and women of all ages - I've even done it for children of both sexes. You just do it because it's polite. The only time I *don't* do it is if I happen to miss the fact that someone is behind me, and when caught, apologize that I didn't see them.

    Paying for dates: The simple rule of thumb is whoever does the inviting should be expected to do the paying. Again, I'm a woman and I've asked men out and paid because I'm springing it on them to come out with me. If you want the pleasure of their company and have something in mind that costs a certain amount of money and you can't handle it, do something that you can afford or else have a conversation about how you can fairly enjoy the date by splitting things up.

    One thing to realize about the real feminism compared to what it's turned in to is that women advocate for the rights of women. When we couldn't vote, work certain jobs, or were expected to stay home and push out babies, women stood up to this so that they had the same basic rights as any human being - which was always men. A feminist will advocate the rights of a woman's body to be her own, and not let government or religion dictate what she should or shouldn't do with her body, such as abortion.

    There are some core issues that we forget about because today we consider women in the west to be equal if not advantaged. That's not the feminism that I relate to. If women want to be self-centered bitches and take advantage of the system - that's *not* feminism. I owe the feminist movement of the past to be the reason I can sit up late at night and use a computer to communicate with people, because in some countries today, my hands would have been cut off by now.

    So all this wonder about why we want someone to be polite to us and know the common expectation of "you invite, you pay" is a bit of an insult to some major issues the feminists have had to fight for, and continue to do so in some places in the world. It doesn't make a woman less feminine or deserving of no respect. If she advocates for women's rights, it's something important to her so that she continues to have the freedom to even go out with a man in public on a date, lest the system resort back to some backwoods religious influence where the women wouldn't even have permission to do anything that free.

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  • I live in a rural town in Georgia, for me and everyone else that kind of stuff is taught as manners but all kids are expected to open doors for others. I always make sure to do my part and I offer to pay but like right now, my boyfriend likes to pay for me and open my door. Feminism is more about making sure those gender roles aren't forced. If a woman wants to be a housewife, it shouldn't be expected of her, just as she shouldn't be crucified for wanting to work and support the family financially. If a man wants to provide, it shouldn't be a "well obviously he's gonna" sort of thing. It's about choice.

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    • Talking specifically about dating not in general.

  • While everyone, whether gal or guy, likes good manners (here chivalrous manners), there are always twisted people who try getting the best of both worlds (which you be trying to refer to here). Their outlook is best discounted. 😇💕

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  • Feminists are dumb.

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  • I don't know if I consider myself a feminist or not. I find myself disagreeing with the majority of modern feminists.
    My view is that men and women are equal and deserve equal rights, what men lack women make up for and vice versa. We complement each other by balancing out certain characteristics. If we were the same we would just clash, not complement.
    With that being said, I embrace our differences, I embrace my feminine side, I recognize that you are more masculine because that is just one of our differences, and I appreciate your chivalrous acts.

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  • absolutely it really is and she is just out of her mind or really confused

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  • Shows he wants to be courteous. Thought that counts

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  • only this site has feminism upsite down

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What Guys Said 16

  • Yes, that would be hypocritical. I know feminist women but they're not like that.

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  • Well, since you are describing an imaginary person to us, I suppose that means we can completely trust your assessment. So yes, the way you are imagining this nonexistent person to be does involve some hypocrisy.

    One properly feminist take on the topic would to hold doors open and whatnot to be considerate to PEOPLE, without specifically doing it for women as some kind of weird "venerate the beautiful flower" thing.

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    • Talking about dating not in general.

  • Feminists are hypocrite fake privileged misandric a$$hls every one of them. I would hold the door for them but permanently closed.

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  • Because she's dumb, chivalry shouldn't be a thing anymore and it's not even "manners" if they are manners then you should reciprocate them same manners.

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  • She wants her cake and eat it too.

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  • Because she wants her cake and to eat it to.

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  • I don't think it's hypocritical. Feminist just means she wants equal rights for women, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be chivalrous towards her. It would be hypocritical if she said that chivalrous behaviour is sexist but she then expected you to be chivalrous.

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  • Because equality but still give me special treatment

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  • Yes, it is hypocritical. If she expects guys to do everything to please her, but fights against sexism that bothers her only... I wouldn't take her seriously. Regardless, I would do these things out of respect if she isn't a misandrist.

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  • That is considered a sexist act, don't do it guys or you will get strafed.

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  • It would be hypocritical of her to expect and demand it. Not hypocritical to enjoy it if the guy does it anyway

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  • Because she has bigger balls and makes more money than him.

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  • I dislike chivalry. Way too contradictory. Protect the king, protect the weak (women and children). What if the king starts murdering women and children? What if the women start attacking the king? What if the perceived weak gather in mass to attack the outnumbered perceived strong? Too many rules, too many contradictions. Not for me, especially if we are going to cherry pick the code itself.

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  • They don't. This is more or less hypocritical.

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  • equal rights & hardships, not I want it my way and all for me.

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  • Because feminists are the biggest hypocrites in human history.

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