#WhereAreUfrom #PoliteVsImpolite #StandingOut
- Yes, it's always impolite to ask
- It's fine as long they don't ask further after getting an answer
- It's depending on the intention behind the question
- No, it's okay to ask
- Other (Explain what and why)
Most Helpful Girl
It's impolite to ask: "No where are you really from?" or to just decide to declare "you can't be from there or born from there." Where are you from is such a common question and a means of learning something about a person and potentially forming a new connection because of it, but when you turn the answer into an accusation as in the person must be lying because they look like xyz or since that person has been there one time, they think they know what everyone there is like, it does become more than just impolite.1
Most Helpful Guy
Asking "where are you from?" is not impolite.
Asking "where are you REALLY from?", however, IS very impolite.
The first sentence is a simple question. That's it. Nothing special about it.
In the second question, the word "really" implies that the speaker was lying when he gave his original answer (in your case Norway). This is not something that's stated openly but it's the pragmatic meaning of this word. It's the way the other person will interpret the question. And yes, calling other people liars is rude.
I don't understand why people phrase it that way when there are much more elegant ways to ask a second time. For example I would ask: "Oh okay. Is your mom or your dad from China or Korea? I was just wondering because you have those East Asian features."
If somebody phrased it like that, you could simply answer: "Yes, both my parents are from China but I was adopted here." This way, you probably wouldn't find it rude because it would just be friendly interest/curiosity without the implicit accusation of you being a liar.2