Why do people judge me so much because I'm black?

People are always asking me and my other friend who's also black why we never hang out with other black girls. They never ask other kids in the school this. They say it like we're obligated to hang out with only females within our race. Now I don't have a problem with black people. The reason I don't really talk to them is because they usually don't really like me or I just can't really vibe with them. They also give my friend Laura a disgusted look when they find out she only hangs with black females. If I go into the store, I have someone staring down my back. They must think I have no money and my intentions are to steal. If I don't talk with Ebonics, people say I sound like I'm white. My real hair is medium length. It's more on the long side. It's almost to the middle of my back. It's shiney also because I perm it and straighten it. People tell me I'm lying about my hair length and that it's impossible for my hair to be as long as it is and that I must have some sort of extensions added. And I especially get judged because I don't really fit in the black stereotypes like being loud, violent, and whatever black stereotypes there are. If I voice my opinion people assume that I must have an attitude problem or I'm mad. Black boys don't wanna date us because "we're too crazy." Why can't people stop judging me so much based off what they know? I just wanna live already without being judged.


0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • On the bright side, you are now able to discern whom to befriend and whom to ignore.

    You are not obligated to answer them or respond to them. If you contemplate about responding to them and the conversation would not be, in any way, enlightening, then you have to do your part by treating their words as dull arrows to your impenetrable shield.

    2|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like that judgment goes both ways!

    1|0
    5|0
    • What do you mean?

    • Show All
    • Ok o apologize for misunderstanding you. My mistake.

    • It's okay. It's just it's like I get judged for not being like other black people. Other people need to mind their business and let people be themselves. Lol

What Girls Said 19

  • I know someone exactly like you. Small frame, petite, beautiful, straightened hair, "white" speech patterns, etc. People would often say the only "Black" think about her was her skin and her dancing ability. She has an amazing voice, but it's not very "soulful" it's more "ethereal" and people would tell her that her singing was "surprisingly white".

    To be honest with you, our friend group had a hayday with it. The consistent ignorance and stupid questions or remarks relating to how she didn't fit "Black stereotypes" was just too much to handle sometimes, it was too funny. And luckily this girl had a very good sense of humour and was able to make fun of herself and others when it came to stuff like this.

    My point, is just be yourself. Make friends with whoever you click with. When people ask stupid question just say "i don't think I'm restricted to that stereotype". Believe me they'll realize how stupid they sound.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I’m sorry the world is such a fucking ass hole people only care about themselves and no one seeks to better themselves and be more open and understanding they just live the way they want with no responsibility of their actions. Honestly your best bet is to NOT CARE it’s hard I know even I haven’t accomplished this yet and I’m 21. But honestly the world isn’t ganna change (right now) so the only thing you can change is yourself by not listening to stupid peoples racism and stereotypes and shallowness and naivety. Just say fuck the world and do what makes you happy and when people judge you or give you looks you just feel sorry for them cause they don’t see how cool you actually are and how lame they are. I don't know that’s the best advice I got sorry I don’t know what else to say since you can’t change stupid peoples stupid opinions

    1|0
    0|0
    • Well said!

    • You’re beautiful by the way and your skin color is wonderful don’t let ANYONE make you think anything BUT that you’re amazing

    • Thank you!❤

  • Because they disrespect black people
    But I respect y'all
    I believe that we should treat other the way you want to be treated
    I do not hate you

    3|0
    0|0
  • Im sorry to hear that you are treated that way, but I honestly feel like in the contries that are shown as least racist these problems apear the most. I know in my country they say we are very closed minded and dense and ignorant and all other stuff, but its not truee... every person of other race says so when they come to visit. No one is treating them differently, no ine is breathing down their neck and giving them dirty looks when they go to public places and we look at you as nothing else but people... We dont judge you based on skin color, hair texture, diferent facial features etc. So that also goes for different groups of friends. Get rid of the toxic people in your group, find new friends, and be happy... i wish you all the best

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well they're just stereotypes. I have long hair. Never had a perm or relaxer. People assume I'm mixed especially because of my color. (I hate that one) You're gonna be judged no matter what. Someone is always going to have something to say. It's annoying af and that's the way of the world.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Oh your hair looks nice!

    • Show All
    • Well than don't. Your hair looks already like you have a perm.

    • My aunts used to get perms and it would curl their hair instead of straighten it. People assume I get perms but ig it just flat irons good.

  • Its called racism honey. Welcome to the land of idiots.

    2|0
    0|0
  • because they are racist

    3|0
    1|0
  • I mean, as someone whos white, im pretty sure if i only hung out with black people someone would ask me “why dont u hang out with white girls”
    I also like hanging out with men more than women so people would probs ask “why do you only hang with men”
    I don’t think it’s necessarily a black/white thing

    1|0
    0|0
    • It's deeper than that

  • They're ignorant. It may be 2017 but people still carry prejudices. The older you get, the better you are at dealing with it. You just have to keep your head up, do you and ignore people.

    1|0
    0|0
  • This sounds all wrong. You both are making assumptions about each other. Me being a black female I use to think the same way. You have to find the right black people. Not all black people are the same. Its mabey the ones at your school. Neither of you are giving any room for a chance. I have friends who speak in ebonics but are the nicest funniest people. I have some who are quiet. We look like we shouldn't even hangout together. Im not saying you have to talk to anyone who judges you but to keep an open mind. I use to think all the stereotypes about white people because i thought they didn't like me. some didn't but i found the right people in the bunch

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm not making assumptions tho

    • Show All
    • Again. Find the ones who aren't most that you can vibe with. I recently told my roommate I'm done with black people because I felt different and the same way. Most of them are from Memphis here at my university. I had to stop and realize that there are great people here. i just have to find them. If I dont I turn my back on oppurtunities of friendships that could take me somewhere. I can't turn my back on a group of people because of bad apples. I believe what you are saying, but you choose in the end. People will talk wether you hang with them or not. Your goal should be who you vibe not a race. F those people who are talking rubbish

    • I don't care about race tho. I can vibe with some black people it's just pretty rare. I'm not prejudice. Im friends with anybody REGARDLESS of race. I just vibe with mostly non-black people and to other kids.. it must be weird or something

  • Yes I agree with you about being judged off of stereotypes. Its not fair that people will think the absolute worse of us, just because we are black, we have to continue to prove our worth to others.

    2|0
    0|0
  • You should be able to hang out with whoever you want! Sorry that society has such ridiculous stereotypes!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because they are ignorant people don't waste you're time worrying what ignorant people say or think please don't make the same mistake I have you are worth too much girl

    1|0
    0|0
  • This is just how America wants it to work.

    0|0
    0|0
  • chill out and do your own thing, ignore your critics and enjoy life

    0|0
    0|1
    • Girl I still be doin me LoL

  • It will always be like that

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ahhh the struggle, I remember when I was your age. Except I did hang out with black female friends. I had like zero guy friends but the few guys I'd talk to around school were mostly Asian.

    I took honors classes so thats all that was around really. Sure people made fun of me and called me white wash even though I didn't have any white friends. Ironically I had my hair natural and got made fun of so I started straightening my hair and it was never enough.

    JUST BE YOURSELF!!! People are gonna tease regardless even if you try to be something they want. I was teased for various reasons by various types of people but now I'm out of high school and I don't have to be around that. Everyone's insecure so they're imposing their judgments on you. Stand up for yourself if they try to say something and don't shop in stores you feel uncomfortable in.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Oh, that question has a very simple answer. Racism (capital R), racism, and covert racism, plus some internalized racism from people who are also black.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Most black people ruin it for us. We aren't all ghetto and racist. We just need to keep setting a proper example on how we should act

    1|0
    0|0
Loading... ;