Can you be a feminist and still expect guys to pay for dates? (Page 2)
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I don’t think you can. Equal opportunity should mean equal responsibility as well. There is no logical reason why a modern, selr sufficient woman should expect a man to pay her way.
self sufficient*
No. That's sexist inequality. A man's gender does not mean the woman is owed anything.
Since majority of modern day feminists don't actually want equality (they want superiority over males), most of them most likely want guys to pay first.
Those who call themselves feminists but actually DO want equality (a very rare breed) are usually unaware of the fact that men currently experience more discrimination and unfairness than women.
I mean, society has pushed it on the guys. And feminism at this day in age is really unnecessary. I think if the guy wants to be to be chivalrous then sure he can pay. She was raised on guys paying yet she wants so called "equality". Quite hypocritical if you ask me.
It'd nice of him to he offer, but i would reply that i can't accept it, i pay this time you pay next time or i pay my half at least, as a feminist who believes in equality i think this is how you should act in this case.
thank you. Humanity still has hope.
Hahha thanks
No. Those women are feminists only when it's convenient for them.
Eeeeeeee!
I mean, I guess you can, but it's some major bullshit.
And this is why I follow you. You have logic.
@Ayer93 Thanks! :P
Let us defer to Sonya in Fur
https://youtu.be/i1_YsCrokfQThat must be a comedy. Because just lol if she's serious
Why is that?
So when men and women begin dating the man is already in debt to the woman because she dresses up and gets manicures, brazilian waxes, her nails and hair done, etc? What kind of stupid logic is that? I hope you don't take her seriously because she's stupid.
Dating is expensive bro
Yeah. You have problems if you actually think like that
People have problems if they think things cost money? 🤔
Because the man is supposed to come to a date dirty, with worned out clothes and on foot? Do you think men are naturally ready and dressed up, hair done, shaved and showered for free?
No. You have problems if you think the man automatically owes you something and is obligated to pay for you. Especially the reason you give. Because you wear makeup and dress up so it's his job to pay? Really? Is your time worth more than his or something? Most guys wouldn't even mind paying but that kind of entitled attitude is a huge turn off. If I found out a woman thought like that then I'd just pay for my half at the end of the date and make her pay for hers. If she doesn't have the money then that's her problem.
That's a very strong sense of entitlement, you don't have to do all that to get a date
By the same logic, the woman is in debt by a good few grand if he has a car and she doesn't.
@disgustingweebtrash I’d argue that he more than likely uses the car for things other than just dates so it would only count as that evenings gas and wear.
And like I don't know how other people are but I do not ride in a guy’s car on the first or even third date. That’s a good way to end up chopped in little pieces and tossed in a ditch 😰
But then this crosses into another argument. Women always bitch that they wear makeup for themselves and not for men. Is this not just confirming that they do it to appear more attractive to the opposite sex?
If a man forces you to buy makeup then so be it he pays for dinner. But I have never ever heard a man force or pressure women into wearing makeup. In fact I hear the opposite where men say women look ugly with make up
@disgustingweebtrash trust me there are plllleeeeeeenty of guys who have been like “you’d look so nice with makeup” to me or my friends (some of which were wearing makeup...).
And like makeup for a date is veeeeery time and product heavy even when you’re doing a natural look. Like I’ll spend more on makeup for a date than just day to day wear.
@disgustingweebtrash Things like this is why so many men and even women don't like feminism. This is just dumb
@CT_CD don’t be mad that we don’t just want you for your taxi services
No, you want us for the free dinners too.
A lot would want the guy to be a taxi service but obviously not most, just like I said when guys don't expect the girl to wear makeup costing $200
Take that $200 and go spend it on a gym membership, it's cheaper and healthier than the chemicals you put on your face and in your hair
@disgustingweebtrash to be fair we don’t actually *know* that ;p
Expecting a guy to pay is no different to prostitution.
@Markfish so since we spend money for the date does that mean you’re the prostitutes?
You spend money for yourself. Since you expect the man to pay for everything, he's the one who will spend money for you.
@Guanfei how is it spending for ourselves?
Because we don't give a damn about your makeup. Which is also much less expensive than everything you expect us to pay.
Go read lumos comments. She has a brain
@Guanfei how much do you think masks up costs? XD
fuck all if you don't buy it
@disgustingweebtrash make up? I buy nail polish?
What's the point? I'm sure you're a natural beauty Belle
@disgustingweebtrash that is very true but if I was working I would need to present myself in a certain way and unfortunately makeup is one of those requirements
@coachTanthony Still my favorite video
Yeah no doubt.. he explains it right!
lol you got that right
Omg can we stop with all this labeling whoever asks the other person on the date should pay
So, I should always pay? That sucks, and feels totally unfair.
On the first date if u asked her then yeah. It honestly depends on the girl but if you’re already making money an issue before you even get in a relationship than you will stay single
If money is not an issue before we're in a relationship, then why do you say that the one who is asking out (which is, if we're honest, mostly the man) should pay? If it was no issues at all, you shouldn't care if you as a girl always have to pay.
Okay well if you’re broke then don’t ask people out. You’re making it a gender issue when it’s not. its the same thing if you were going out with a friend. If your friend asks you to get coffee you should either split or they should pay because they invited yiu. Honestly if your panties are up your ass because of this then don’t date geez
You just don't see that it's a gender issue because you are profiting from it as a woman. I have enough money for lots and lots of dates, but it's just unfair if one sex has to pay nearly everytime.
It would be fair that the one asking out pays, if women asked men on dates 50% of the time.
It’s not you just want to complain. Money shouldn’t matter at all i expect a guy to pay on a first date but by second or third i can pay for my own things and one more thing don’t blame women blame society and the fact men still get payed more than women are for no reason. My last suggestion is don’t date and good luck
You’re just as annoying as the dude who keeps asking about beta males 🙄
There are reasons why women get paid less, but let's just assume there aren't, that's a topic for another discussion.
If the dude worked for minimum wage and the girl earned 1£ more per hour, should then the girl pay? And again, if it doesn't matter to you you can't say that it should be this or that way. If you say it should be this or that way, you obviously care.
Then your suggestion not to try looking for love, very sensitive, and you finished with an insult, awesome :)
When men ignore your issues that effect you personally as a women I want you to remember your responses on this thread.
But men ask the girl out 90% of the time.
I can't get over the sheer levels of entitlement people have, does no one want to achieve or do anything for themselves anymore? everyone else seems to be to blame for people not achieving or reaching their own goals!
O_o? what goals are you talking about?
Any goals, what people have as their goals is up to them
why is this still a thing? Just split the bill. Unless its specifically his treat and he asked you out and specified he will pay.
A guy should not be expected to pay for anything. If he chooses to then he can but that is all up towards him. Can’t necessarily “expect” him to pay for a date.
I agree with the notion that whoever asks on a first date should be the one to pay. From subsequent dates then onward, split the bill. Usually the guys asks the girl out but I don't understand how a guy could ask a girl out and then expect her to pay half the bill when she's basically his guest since he asked her. If she asked him, then it's the other way around
Absolutely NOT in my opinion, if you're a feminist you believe in equal rights there for that isn't fair.
Okay we will pay 50-50 if ever date 😂😂
we have a bit of a problem here, as a feminist (according to them at least ) equality is key, meaning she has to pay what he has to pay.
now we have those claiming that the guy asked her out so why should he pay... well its simple really, women in 90% of the cases will not make a move on a guy, so basically guys are expected to make a move, so you're telling me that you make me approach you and whoever invites has to pay... doesn't seem to make much sense especially when u want equality...
They won't want equality... go friend a few dozen women on facebook and watch as their marriages collapse after they dump the provider for the douche bag at the guy.
We don't need charts or surveys just use your eyes and look at whats happening. I still laugh when a women says a guy must be 6 feet. Less than 14% of the male population is 6 feet...
@CrashDF yeah a lot of men seem to believe statistics or women, i believe more in actions and results, if a woman says something cool i will consider it but unless it happens the way she says it does iam not convinced enough to actually do it like she wants me to.
women often want something but claim to want something else, it happens a lot and many men ignore this for some reason I don't know.
by the way iam 6'2 and yes women just love to comment on my height, but problem is the hotter she is the more shit tests and walls you have to destroy to get to her, even if you're a cool, laid back and genuine dude...
Girls want it all and they have dated dozens of guys by the time a regular guy gets near them. They think the whole world revolves around them if they are even just a bit cute. I would say I'm done with women but I'm just going to date younger.
@CrashDF i like girls so iam willing to date girls its just that i choose to date girls few years younger than me and approach in a laid back, cool manner, if they are responsive and i like them and they aren't giving me a hard time its all good, if they start playing games or testing me when iam literally being honest and real with them then i guess we won't work out.
most girls have had at least a boyfriend by college, i dated few girls so its cool one or two bfs are okay with me, but if she sleeps around, has an attitude, or had a lot of boyfriend, make friends then fuck it i dont need this.
i met a girl recently who was giving me a lot of attention for months when i finally approached she was responsive and messaged back and everything but after two convos (span of 3 days ) she suddenly blocked me, and i wasn't even annoying, creepy or anything just normal everyday stuff... what can we do girls seem to have issues nowadays.
What I've seen in the dating world has blown my mind. Women demand 6 feet tall guys while shaming short guys saying they have small D's like as its a normal thing to say. They've lost total respect for men as well as themselves, they date only the jerks. They constantly tell themselves that because 200 guys email them on dating sites they can be picky and let themselves go. I know this is true because I know a lot of women and I've seen them hit the wall it's brutal.
Some of them I wouldn't recognize anymore since after even a few years they've put on 60-70 pounds and are with men they never would have looked at in a million years back when I knew them. Facebook will show it all to you lol. The vast majority of women are drama and will say w/e makes them look good but when you talk to them 1on1 they will spill it on how awful they are to themselves and others. Men are easy because we grow up and care about others and expect Women to as well.
I have no idea what to tell ya, she could have meet someone else or got scared.
I wish you all the luck, I go to yoga and I've run into a few nice girls. I'll eventually marry one I just use this site to vent what I've seen dating in my 30's. It's a nightmare for men and I completely see why so many have given up on the dating scene.
Best advice is take up an activity that has women in it and wait for a nice one to come along marry her and never look back.
@CrashDF yeah women nowdays feel that the world revolves around them, they are the center and guys are responsible for making that happen, except that guys are working hard and still not getting the results they want and its driving a lot of them mad and crazy, they give but never get anything in return.
iam not giving up on dating but iam not gonna allow a girl to use me, i have interacted with a lot of women and i know that a lot offer nothing worthy , they can cook, clean, aren't willing to have kids or take care of kids, they want men that can do everything for them while they just sit there and rest.
Your completely 100% right, they do think they are the center of the universe.
I knew tons of hots girls and everything you've read or thought is exactly what they were doing and more. Using nice guys cheating on them with everyone.
But I've also seen them hit the wall and they might laugh and say were the bitter ones... wait till they are in their 30's and go from taking a new guy home every other week to absolutely no one wanting them. They pack on 70 pounds and finally realize what an equal world is without their privilege. No pity. For the first time in their lives they'll know the struggle men have since were 16, endless rejection till we stop caring or toughen up.
@CrashDF indeed some do # not all but a lot do end up either fat with no relationship or future or some find out the hard way what being high manitenance and slutty means when they get older and can't get a man.
Like fuck. You get what you ask for, good and bad points. You shouldn't get to pick and choose for what you want, when no one else gets that luxury.
Absolutely not. But i do believe in being a lady, you do not fight a guy who insisted in on paying. Allow him to be a gentleman
You can still offer at least. Show him you aren’t just there for a free meal
I agree
Depends. The point of feminism is equality so the question then becomes "should one person be expected to pay for another" and that is all down to context.
Being a feminist is not about how you choose to pay for something. It's about being able to choose how will you do these things. Just don't create new norms instead of old ones.