Do you think it's wrong for a guy to breakup with a woman because she's a single mother?

Let's say he's 30 and she's 25. They had a good relationship but he left because she was a single mom. Do you think this guy is wrong for that?
  • Yes its wrong
    Vote A
  • No its not
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It is neither wrong or right, it is just a choice that the guy is free to make. He does not owe her a relationship, whether she's a mother or not.

    That and it's a pretty logical choice - most guys do not want to take care of progeny that is not their own.

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  • Surely he would know she was a single mother before they started dating? Either way, I don't think any reason for breaking up with someone is "wrong". If something isn't right about the relationship for one person then there isn't anything to be gained by staying in it.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Kids are a giant burden. Nothing wrong with not wanting that in your life. Even if the women doesn't ask him to take care of the kid, it's still something entirely different to date a mom. She has to consider her child first before making 99% of her decisions.

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  • Isn't that something the guy would know before the relationship even started? Why would you go into a relationship knowing that you don't want to be a possible step dad? I swear, people have no problem wasting your time and your life, if you let them.. I think it is wrong to date someone knowing that you don't agree with the circumstance.

    Also, dating a single parent (mom or dad) isn't something you should just take lightly and just "try it out and see how it goes". I'm saying this because I'm tired of seeing it happen. We have too many single parents out here then we even know what to do with..

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What Guys Said 207

  • How do you get into a relationship with a woman without knowing that she has a child?

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    • My first instinct is to ask the same thing, but women will lie and conceal until they think they've got a chump locked in.

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    • Yah but some guys have no self esteem and will tolerate being lied to because they're getting their dick wet.

      @Miristheiss brought up a good point. And that's probably the most likely reason that this situation mentioned would go down the way it's described.

    • @Barrabus_the_Free You are talking about the boys, because the men will walk away when they catch a woman in such a lie. Yes, @Miristheiss made a very good point.

  • I have tried to be in a relationship twice with a single mother. One had 2 daughters spent 4 years trying to make it work. The second relationship was 1.5 years with a son. Hear are my reason to not going back to a instant family:
    1. The Ex is always involved
    2. Its very expensive
    3. No more single dates
    4. Late nights when they are sick
    5. Missing work to help out
    6. Kids telling you can't tell me what
    Do your not my dad.
    7. Your not the one. She is.
    expermenting on you to see if their
    are others. Your not the only guy
    she is intrested in. Trust me.
    8. Very stressful lots of arguments
    for someone else kid.
    9. No more hanging out with your
    friends because they feel excluded
    10. They always sleep with their Ex.
    11. The want marriage ASAP

    In my 4 year relationship she lied to me about having kids. We had sex and creating a relationship that I thought was awesome. She told me on the 3rd month. I gave it a shot and yes she cheated on me with her ex and one of my friends. She crossed the line when she went with my friend. We are not friends anymore.
    I learned that it is rough and if they lie to start a relationship because they are afraid to be alone. Then call it quits. It's not worth the time and energy. If they can lie about this. How many more lie are they living or willing to lie about? Hope this help. Good luck.

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  • Not really wrong. It's hard to say. It would depend on the circumstances and how the relationship goes. As well as how each of them feel about the other and what's going on with their minds at the time. Sometimes, guys get into a relationship and then find out they can't handle being the second daddy or even just being the support for her child. Even though most women say that they aren't looking for a second daddy for their child, the guy will still feel obligated to be that for him, since he's secondary to the child in the woman's eyes or that it's just how it's got to be really.

    I think if you get into a relationship with a woman that has a child, you have to be more about how much you love her and care about her, because that's what she's looking for. She probably already can handle being a single mom, it's the fact that she wants a different form of love or affection on a more sexual, romantic, level that gives her a different love and care and connection than that of her and her child.

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  • Taking care of a kid is a type of lifestyle. A lifestyle a lot of guys aren't ready to be committed for. I can totally understand why I guy would think they aren't ready to be involved in a relationship and instantly become that 'parental figure' that the kid looks up to.
    That's an awfully big step for a single guy to take, be fully committed to, and be very good at it. This is why I think single moms should be skeptical of who they bring into their kids life.

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    • I agree with you. Becoming a parent is a huge responsibility and can be harder when the child isn't yours. I think there is nothing wrong with a guy who knows he isn't ready.

  • Yes, he is wrong and narrow minded. One of my best relationships in terms of her being romantic, understanding, mature, and sexual was a single mom of 25. It was amazing. We only broke up due to the distance. I would have married her.

    And what's wrong with a child in the picture? Are some people so selfish and inhuman that they can't see that a child needs a father in their life?

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  • Being super honest i would never ever date a single mom , or be in a relationship with her and marrying her forget it even

    Im never gonna take care of some other dude kids F that its good from my POV that they broke up

    No its not wrong in any way he made a really GOOOOD choice i would do the same or even stop talking to her after i found out she got other dude kids

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  • If he knew what he was getting in to in the first place, gave it a go but couldn't handle it for whatever reason then I guess it'd be for the best so yeah I think it's OK really, I mean if she lied to him about it then I can imagine some people would be upset about that so I guess depending on the individual/circumstance etc I think it could be a wise decision 😊

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  • Nope
    The guy is allowed to choose whom he want to stay or break up with.
    Like you are allowed to choose to not date nice guy during a certain age range or you do not like a certain kinds of guys

    Simple

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  • Actually he just did her a favour. She is a mom she is an adult like it or not. She can't be wasting time on and lottle boys except her own. He has the right to say hey im not ready to raise a kid. I still want to live my life just for me. They both have the right to leave a relationship for any reason. Why would anyone want some one to stay because they have to

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  • If he knew she had kids from the beginning then it is wrong to suddenly change your mind later. Guys should think about all of that before starting an relationship with someone with kids. It is also not healthy for kids to have guys coming in and out of their lives like that. Kids are hard to deal with even when they are your own but they can be even harder when they are someone else's kids.

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  • Not everyone (I would say most men, in fact) can't handle such a situation. I'm a parent myself, and I know well how much work kids are and these are someone else's kids!

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  • Single mothers are probably better to date than even women without children. They are more responsible now that they have a child and that is a great thing. We should be celebrating motherhood, don't worrying about who is the father, and giving our love and support.

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  • I don't see an argument for how it is "wrong". Sincerely, if two strangers meet. What does he owe her upon getting into a relationship purely on the basis of her having a child? The "right" thing for him to do is stay with her purely on the basis of her being a single mom? That's a silly concept to me.

    I'm sure it's hard for the woman. I'm also aware that neither party owes the other anything.

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  • Of course not. If he had an issue with it, he should have never entered into a relationship with her in the first place.
    Now if she was concealing the fact that she had kid (s), that's a different story. That's starting the relationship out on the wrong foot, both parties need to be honest about their baggage.

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  • I think so. No opportunity for happiness should be not considered because of outside factors. If it doesn't work it should be because of the guy or girl not because of children or family members or friends.

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  • It’s neither. Depends if that’s the reason. Did ‘they’ break up because it wasn’t working and she happens to be a single mum or did they break up because she’s a single mum and therefore it wasn’t working?

    To enter a relationship with the knowledge is one thing. To remove yourself from said relationship because of it, is downright callous. weak spine, no balls, no honour etc.

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  • if the guy knew she's a single mother prior to dating then yes it's wrong to use that as a reason to leave the relationship. but if he did not know and it was never brought up, then i don't blame him for leaving the relationship once he found out.

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  • It's not wrong to breakup for any reason -- it's wrong to lie. Now you have learned something and I hope you will remember this before you get involved with another single mother.

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  • No its not wrong, dating is one thing raising a child is another totally different kind of commitment. Its not right or wrong its a choice the guy has to make weather he's ready to be apart of the kids life. But if he knows about the kid before hand & he knew he didn't want to get serious then I'd say its wrong

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  • Depends why. If he don't want a kid then sure break up. He woukd be smart to give it a try first. Maybe he will love the child. It's complicated because the guy/girl must like or accept the child and lover for the relationship to work.

    It is wrong to say "guy" and "single mother". 😜 as a single father the assumption always makes me shake my head.

    So, is it wrong for a girl to break up because he's a single father? 😁

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  • If that was going to be a deal-breaker, then he never should've been going out with her in the first place. Wasted everyone's time and probably caused some drama.

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  • I thought it would be wrong if it was the only reason. Though the more I thought about it. If he is going to break up because of a child. The he is probably a child himself and shouldn’t be raising any children yet anyway. So better that he’s gone anyway.

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  • Not really no why should he have to look after kids that aren’t his and be in a situation your in because you clearly choose the wrong guy to have kids with.
    He’s not wrong for leaving he’s very right to do so and find a real girl who probably has some serious negatives hence being single because of it.

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  • I'm assuming he knew she was single mother before entering into a relationship with her. So it shouldn't have been deal breaker now while in the middle of the relationship.

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  • If he knew beforehand I would say it's wrong but if she sprung that on him midway I'd be completely sympathetic to him leaving. Although sometimes you have to learn the hard way the complications of being a single parent so I can forgive to an extent someone just going 'fuck this, I'm out' because she can't make time for them as a couple or something like that.

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  • The very last woman I dated was a single mother, I myself actually started creating the dates so that she could include her child which she did. But this is also the same person who I found was looking for another partner the entire time that we were dating. It has made me stop dating now for ~10 years.

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  • Nobody can say what's right or wrong for someone to want in the person they date. He may want only children of his own, no children at all our just not someone else's kids. Who wants a jealous daddy coming around all the time?

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  • No, it's not wrong. Why is it not wrong? Because if he has a problem with that, the BEST THING HE CAN DO FOR HER is to not be with her. Otherwise, the down-the-road results will be even worse for her and for her kids.

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  • It's not wrong because the new boyfriend will end up having to raise and pay for another man's child and that is not fair.

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  • I think i'd need to know more about the situation. I doubt it's just cut and dried as "it's because she's a single mom". If that's truly the reason he was wrong to ever get involved with her because he knew that going in.

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What Girls Said 85

  • Depends on how long they were together. If he was just seeing if he could do it for a few weeks then no. But if he was with her long term and integrated himself in the child’s life then yes, that’s shitty.

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  • I think the single mother should have divulged that info from the start.. If she didn't hoping to snag someone than she deserves to be dumped for not being honest.

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  • As a single mom of 5, no. Fatherhood just isn’t for some people. Just as it wouldn’t be wrong for a woman to leave because he’s a single dad. Motherhood isn’t just for some women.

    My guy doesn’t have or want kids of his own. He’s sticking around but it wouldn’t be wrong if he changed his mind. I’d understand.

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  • No, it's not wrong.
    Dating someone with children is signing on to potentially be that child's step-parent. The person that you are dating has other responsibilities, the child comes first.
    If someone isn't ready to take on that role or be understanding, or if it's just not a good fit, then it's not wrong to break up.

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  • Certainly not. I'd actually say the immoral thing to do would be to force/shame someone into staying in a relationship they wanted out of.
    She's a parent - he doesn't want to be - that's her baggage she needs to be able to deal with, he's at no fault.

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  • I wouldn't have a kid until I felt very secure in my life. Having a kid to me seems like a red flag, how can you make that life changing mistake so easily? It's a bit more nuanced than that, but in most cases this applies and I want someone who has thier life in order. I want to make and raise a kid with the man I love. It's not a complete no to someone with a kid, but it's very unlikely.

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  • If this is the single reason for breaking up with a woman, then why did the guy get into the relation in the fist place.

    It is a poor and coward reply to give. She was good enough as long as she served his purposes. A guy does not deserve to be near a woman that truly loves him.

    I would consider him a leach. Take all you can but give nothing in return

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    • As a man who has watched my nieces grow up and has had a hand in raising them, and a man who was raised by a single mother, I respectfully disagree with you. Relationships are built on trust and the ability to care for one another.
      Most single mothers aren't capable of sharing love in ways that make her kids and the new man happy. Children require parental love and a man in a relationship requires love in a similar way, not the same but similar. Then if the man has an argument with the kid the mother has to choose a side that will hurt one or the other, and more than likely she'll choose the child's side.
      When my mom tried dating me and my brothers always stopped it short because we knew how she was and were old enough to know she couldn't handle both.
      Ask yourself if you think you could handle being with a man who had kids that were not yours. What if he told you he wouldn't have kids with you because he didn't want his child to feel out of place. What if he always sided with his kid

    • @Hypnos0929 I respect your opinion but what I respect more is that you take my point without automatically blocking me because I "dared" to have a different opinion than yours. Thank you!

  • That's his right, if he is not willing to have a relationship with someone with a child then he has a checklist he wants to stick to so leave him off, his loss plus most important of all would you want your child to jump through hoops for anyone! The answer to that question is I AM AWESOME MY CHILD IS NEXT GEN AWESOME WE WILL MEET SOMEONE AWESOME XXX

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  • If he was never told about the child. Then he has every right to leave. After all it's better he leave than end up abusing the child. Baby P's mother's boyfriend on a charge of raping a two-year-old and murder. Other injuries included a broken back, broken ribs, mutilated fingertips and missing fingernails.

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  • Umm isn't he supposed to know in the first place?

    I don't know what kind of relationship starts without a woman telling the guy that she is a single mother. Relationships are serious, period.

    If a guy dumped her from hiding such a thing from him, I would totally understand why someone would do that.

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  • I think there are different things people do and don’t want or are able or unable to maintain in their lives. If a guy feels he can’t be responsible for a child, feels uncomfortable that the girl had someone else’s child, or whatever the case may be, I think that’s just his preference and should be respected as such.

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  • Why'd he start dating her if he knew she was... Honestly, the single mother may just be an excuse instead of admitting he's not ready to get more serious right now. It has nothing to do with her being a single mom but rather the relationship moving deeper and more serious with time. Better you know now than him wasting more time.

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  • Is he entitled? Yes. Ok? Debatable. Depends on the situation but he isn't forced to continue on the relationship, because it would not just be with the woman but the kid kind of comes in the same package...

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  • Raising kids is a big responsibility, that he doesn’t want to get involved in and it’s totally his right to feel that way. His love for you can be as big as you want, he still have the right to only wanna raise children of his. Maybe he felt that he will not have any boundary with your kids, so he think that an absent father is a way better than a bad step-father

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  • If he doesn’t want kids or doesn’t want to raise someone else’s kids than he is entitled to his right to end the relationship.

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  • No I think he's absolutely in the right to leave.
    If I was in that situation and my partner hadn't told me they had a child with someone else before we started dating I would feel really betrayed and probably break up with them as well because it's really not a minor thing to lie about or simply "not mention" to someone you care about and want to be with.

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  • The reason I think that he is wrong for that is because you should love your partner because of their personality and flaws. You shouldn't dump them because she is a single mother. Only good knows what she might be going rthrough yet you dump her. But that is just my opinion.

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  • It's not wrong on his part to not want to date a woman with a child. However, to be dating a woman with a child and then decide, seemingly all of the sudden, that nope, that's suddenly a deal breaker? And to blame the child for his inability to handle it? That's wrong.

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  • He has a right to choose, it doesn't effect the other persons worth, only his preference.

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  • Not everyone is ready, or even up for the parental role. Kids are definitely a deal breaker in both senses. Think about it, using your own rationality instead of your emotions: would you really want a man who won't be able to become the fatherly figure for your child?

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  • I don't think any man or woman should come into someone elses' child's life if they don't intend to stay. So no, if he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with a single mom he made the right choice by breaking up. That's better than staying in the relationship and not being able to handle it.

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  • It's not a yes or know question really. We do have the right to break off a relationship or marriage for that fact. My question why would they have been in a relationship in the first place as obviously she had the child before they began dating so this should not have been an issue.
    Now if they were in a relationship and she announces that "Oh By The Way I Have A Child" I can obviously see where the problem could be.

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  • I don't want any baby daddies either but why get with a woman who has a child in the first place? It's not like the kid just randomly popped up out of no where so he had to know before jumping into a relationship with her. So yes, in my opinion if he already knew and is now jumping ship then that's a crummy thing to do to someone. If you know you don't want an already made family and they tell they have a kid before hand, then tell it's not going to work out for you.

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  • Oh, I'd choke a bitch who made me a single mother in the first place and then anyone who had a problem.

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  • I dont think its wrong at all. He may not want children or want to "play father" to a child that's not his, that's his right. He should have been I formed that she had a child before they started dating

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  • Wtf? What kind of question is this? No one is wrong for leaving a relationship. They just don't want to be with you for whatever reason. You can't force someone to be with you. I have broken up with guys over reasons they deemed "stupid" but it's my right to leave a relationship.

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  • I think that before they even got into a relationship he should have known she was a single mother. If that is a deal breaker for him then he shouldn’t have pursued a relationship with her. If he pursued the relationship knowing she was a single mother then made that the excuse for breaking up with her then yes it’s wrong.
    But I don’t think I could personally date a single father. But I don’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  • No. Nobody is obligated to you because you have kids. Some people don't like the drama that comes with that responsibility and or they aren't ready for kids.

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  • If he doesn't want to being around other man's child, that's his choice. He can't lie to himself and pretend to be okay with it if he isn't.

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  • Maybe not wrong but primitive. If you think about why this is a threat to male instinctively, it's because using own resources to raise child not yours (instead of own biological one) is unwise and hinders furtherance of DNA.

    Answer my question, please?

    Why would a guy not want to meet my family? ↗

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