Do women see men as equal partners when it comes to raising children?

Do women see men as equal partners when it come to raising children?
Parents
Parents
  • YES
    Vote A
  • NO
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guys

  • No. It is women who claim that we don't need fathers, its women who have pushed for the completely one sided divorce laws that prevent a father from having access to his own children and are the ones arguing that we don't need men in general (thus suggesting heavily that fathers are not needed (despite all evidence to the contrary). They also state that men don't contribute enough (even though their entire paycheck and thus physical labor goes to the woman and child). So no, women do not see men as equal partners.

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    • so many down votes from women that can't handle the truth... so sad. Sir i upvoted you because you told the truth... See my comment also

    • @worldscolide The down votes by women are not unsurprising. Women have a strange need to support all women regardless of the womans behavior and to defend women even when they know that they are in the wrong. Its a strong in group bias (the "women are swell" affect, which has been documented scientifically) which unfortunately causes women to refuse to fix problems. Imagine if men functioned that way, if we refused to acknowledge the wrongs men do consistently, nothing would be resolved, this is the biggest issue with women as it pertains to male - female interactions, men acknowledge their basic impulses and faults so as to overcome them, women refuse to acknowledge their own forcing men to simply accept them even as they become destructive (like as you mentioned in your comment how women will use children to hurt their ex's, this has been documented since antiquity yet we are not allowed to acknowledge that women are the more vindictive gender which causes the problem to persist).

  • Nope. Many women (around my age) think they should make most of the decisions when it comes to the kids, but the thing is that in my experience they are much worse at raising them (single mothers compared to single fathers).
    I think it would be better if the woman did more for the kids when they were very young like infant and toddler age, but the father should do more when they are preteen and teenage.
    When they are children ages 5 to 9, both parents should try to frequently spend quality time together to have a strong lasting bond with the kids.
    If they have both parents they should end up better off because each parent is good at different aspects of raising kids.

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    • True, many women are way more involved with parenting than their male counterparts. They seem to put way more interest in it and often just overdo it. Mothers tend to think and worry even before something happens, while fathers tend to let things develop and only interfere when the child really needs parental guidance.
      However i dont agree that single father households raise better children than single mother households. Maybe you think that because you often see bad behaved single mother raised individuals, but thats a selective observation. Based on the statistics, though, single fathers have significantly more household income, the kids turn out to have lower education. I haven't looked up crime stats yet, but that would be quite interesting to know, so look it up of you're free.
      On the rest, yeah, i totally agree with you

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    • Yeah, sure it definitely could seem that way, but as i said, its most likely selective observation.
      Well, id say that yeah, its totally because the lack of attention or time. Even if you give a kid attention, as a single parent you have to work most of the day.. At some point in the kids life there will be a period when they notice the parents absence. Be it in elementary school or in high school.. Sure, you can try to make that up by paying them a lot of attention when you're there but thats risky.. You might just spoil them.
      Anf ofc one parent feels way more unsafe.. Financially, emotionally, anything.. Your whole life is just half as stable with just one parent.
      The thing about custody and visiting arguments... Well isn't that first of all not always the case and secondly its not always so extreme that it escalades. Usually people compromise like the mature people they are. Also id say that the kid usually doesn't really knows what happens in the courtrooms.

    • All in all id say most kinds turn out well in households with both parents because life is just easier and more fulfilled that way, not bc they evaded witnessing their parents fight for them

Most Helpful Girls

  • Realistically equality just doesn’t work for at least the first year of babies life. Sure, it would be nice if child rearing could be 50/50 but especially if breastfeeding it’s just not possible. We have a 3 month old and it’s probably 80/20 at the moment... I’m with baby all day and do all of the night wake ups because I want hubby to sleep and be well rested for work. He does more of the grunt work on weekends while I catch up on housework and any prep for the following week but because I’m breastfeeding he’s still limited, there’s no way around that

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    • Can you buy a pump? You can put your milk in bottles and he could feed the baby.

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    • @nathanp97 I pump daily to build up a stash forwhen I return to work or should I be away from him in an emergency but he still won’t take a bottle despite trying 11 different brands and 16 different teats. He simply won’t take to one.
      Pumping also adds a lot of extra work in my day and I can’t miss a session or it messes with my supply. At the moment I’m only doing small amounts to freeze but to do it as a main source would literally take hours and hours I just don’t have

    • @Chaz269 you mean generations passed when the average life expectancy was 40 and the childbirth mortality rate was 50% 🤨 yes. Thousands of “healthy” children right there

  • Absolutely! (At least in our experience) If he wasn't there to wipe my son's bottom you better believe my baby daddy was hard at work slaving his ass off so he could provide food and shelter. Even if it never looked like he was doing the job of a daddy, he has never rested for a second making sure we are happy and living!

    I think a lot of women forget that men work just as hard, sometimes even harder. Always thanklessly and they never stop to complain or say "hey look at how much I've done!" Because that is the job of a man.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 51

  • If we are talking while the couple is still together.. i would say yes.. But once the big D word (divorce) happens not only do women see men as inferior but the courts see the same, because 9 times out of 10 the father becomes just a visitor to the kid, forced to give up, up to 70% of his income in child support while only being permitted to visit his children every other weekend at best. Women are by and far the largest practitioners of parental alienation. If you review any posts from a group called TFRM ( the fathers rights movement ) you will see what i am talking about. Most divorced men want to be fathers to their children, its the mothers and family court that make that a near impossibility. It becomes a control issue. When fathers are given an equal share in the parenting the mother loses a small amount of control and most mothers want absolute control over their children because they feel like if the child came from their body that child belongs to them and no one else.

    Basically a lot of mothers hate the father so much that their love for their child becomes overshadowed and irrelevant as long as she can use the child to hurt the father, when in reality her selfishness only harms the child.

    So its a yes and no kind of situation.

    The above is why i am a huge advocate for default 50/50 shared parenting from the start and working from there.

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  • Men should step up to their responsibilities, raising kids is a shared responsibility, some things papa explains better, some things mama explains better. Both should have an equal share in the upbringing of their kids, both input-wise as well as output-wise. I’m not a farm animal that’s only called in to jump on the female one time for reproductive needs.

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    • "Men should step up to their responsibilities"
      Explain that to single mothers. To divorced wives. To courts giving custody to women 99% of the time.

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    • @Benedek38 I was not referring to CH, I’m from NL.

    • 1) Then why does your profile say Switzerland?
      2) NL was still 11.1% in 2007
      Here are some predictions for the single parent rate in NL
      www.statista.com/.../
      The Netherlands has a steeply increasing out-of-marriage birth rate
      ec.europa.eu/.../index.php
      And out-of-marriage births usually end with single parents.

      So yeah. Safe to assume you STILL have a problem. But keep lying to yourself.

  • it really depends on the woman tbh, some do, some don't... but I can honestly say that in my experience depending on the parent, depends on how well that child or children are cared for... my youngest's mam I can honestly say has NO clue yet she can turn on the water works and all of a sudden everyone is flocking around her to comfort and support her..

    yet she has zero positive impact on my son's life...

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  • Betting most of the women who answered yes haven’t had kids yet lol. For a number of reasons, women feel very superior in the parental ways. Even if a guy tries there is nothing but criticism. Dads are very second class citizens in the parenting world...

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  • Depends on the society and the woman in question, but it's been objectively proven that having a father present while growing up is incredibly important when it comes to the healthy development of children.

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    • Your response suggests there are societies in which men are equally respected as child rearers. Please offer some links for the rest of us.

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    • @Chaz269 "Do women see men as equal partners when it comes to raising children?"

      That was the question. Not "Are men on average equally respected as child rearers in society"

      Which is what you are arguing about. I didn't backpedal on anything, you just misinterpreted what I said. The fact that you're getting this upset at me not engaging in your stupid game says a lot.

      Whether a woman will see a man as an equal partner when it comes to raising children depends on the culture the woman was raised in and what kind of woman she is in general. That was my answer. If you interpreted it in any other way, that's on you.

      Take your infantile rage somewhere else.

    • What a cocksucker you are! How does my precum, taste cunt? I'm cominf for your ass.. Just wait for it 😉

  • Women want their partners to be more pro active in the raising of their children. It's a lot of hard work, many chores, difficulties. Women are seen as being more capable and knowledgeable when it comes to children and most of the work is left to them. It can cause a lot of friction in a relationship.

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  • When ever i see these over generalizing question i think why dose the autistic guy have to explain this. Not everyone is the same. Not every person is gender typically. And every relationship is different. Who the man is who the woman is and who the kid is can have a role in how to answer this question. But it are asking how i personally would answer this question I would say she better.

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  • I hate these kind of questions because the answer really comes down to the people playing parent and what they're personality is like. A man can get involved just as much as a woman raising a child just as much as a woman can do a self labelled 'mans job' in the workplace

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  • I think many do, some don't. All people, man or woman who enter a committed relationship need to understand and accept their roles are equally important but also different. And that's the way it's supposed to be.

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  • I think they should see men as at least equal.

    Do women see men as equal partners when it comes to raising children?

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    • Or some dads could just, y'know... not abandon their children?

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    • @worldscolide Also,

      Do women see men as equal partners when it comes to raising children?

    • not to mention 71% of all child death (not abortion related) Child abuse, and 70% of all child neglect happen at the hands of the mother alone.

      www.breakingthescience.org/...fiedDataFromDHHS.php

      The DHHS data shows that of children abused by one parent between 2001 and 2006, 70.6% were abused by their mothers, whereas only 29.4% were abused by their fathers.

      And of children who died at the hands of one parent between 2001 and 2006, 70.8% were killed by their mothers, whereas only 29.2% were killed by their fathers.

      Furthermore, contrary to media portrayals that leave the viewer with the impression that only girls are ever harmed, boys constituted fully 60% of child fatalities. (Table 4-3, p. 71, Child Maltreatment 2006, www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/cm06.pdf, reports that 675 boys died in 2006 as compared to 454 girls).

  • In terms of spent time raising children, no, but I don't blame them. I think in today's society, women are trying to see it this way. Whether reality actually ends up being like this, is something altogether.

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  • Not in my experience. When my ex told me she was pregnant i was very much relegated to a secondary figure.
    I would have been happy to be an equal partner, she wasn't going to let me

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    • Reading the comments below reminds me a lot about how my ex used to sound. I hope when push comes to shove you're as good as your words

  • Not really. The mother often has the final word and when it comes to divorce proceedings the father usually is considered to have little value in the raising of the child.

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  • I clicked yes, because I hope it’s the case.
    When my two were babies, I did 80% of the night feeds and changes. I felt it was my duty as I was away working in the day.

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  • Absolutely not. Anyone who suggests otherwise is either grossly ignorant or lying.
    Post empirical evidence to the contrary if you're going to down vote, PLEASE!

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    • Enlighten me, because i am about to vote Yes in the poll because i expect girls to see me as an actual even if we don't raise the child equally.

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    • I agree that the system is entirely against guys, but this is not what the question is about. Its if women see men as equal partners when it comes down to raising children which means its more of a personal women with her partner thing rather then a social structure thing.

      I agree society doesn't view men as an equal contributor, but i doubt this also replicates to the individual.

    • @wonderer89, you're a piece of work! Can't handle a fair argument, so you block? Typical ignorant twat.
      So, your claim is that modern men are more a threat to their own children now than they were when the majority of fathers and children had no choice but to survive without mothers? Even in spite of the fact that single father households are less likely to live in poverty and produce children with criminal records or drug and alcohol addiction? PLEASE produce empirical evidence to support your ridiculous claims!

  • In terms of lending a hand, man SHOULD put i effort to ease the burden off the moment. But when it comes to "parenting", a dad will never and can never be a mother.

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  • They should, but many don't seem to as far as I can see from my circle of friends.

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  • Based on divorce and custody stats, no.

    Based on crime stats cross-analyzed with parenting and father presence stats, they sure as hell should.

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  • I don't know that this is a yes or no answer
    Some women do surely and others don't just as surely

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  • no, we have kids because women want them. How much interest do you see from men in fighting to get in line to hold someone elees baby! You wanted this shit not us!

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    • That's not necessarily true to assume that men as a whole don't want kids. Facts are most men don't speak up to reveal this fact, 1. And they know it doesn't matter in situations like divorces because they know the women are going to get away with stealing them anyway by default.

  • I don't like babies, so if she decides to have one she should take care of it. If I got a dog it would be my responsibility to take care of it.

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  • Men contribute more in the upbringing of the child than women. It's a fact and if you can't deal with it then too bad for you.

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  • We are a money and sperm source. Most women don't give a shit

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  • No, the law still treats children like they are women's property.

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  • HAHA! No. Women don't see men as equal partners in anything.

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  • Yes. They both have equally important responsibilities that do not match.

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  • I don’t even see women as partners when dating. I’m the man she’s the woman.

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  • I raise my child just as much if not more than my wife

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  • they only see them as money. and that's about it cuz with money you can get anything.

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  • Women says men don't do enough when all she is a house wife

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What Girls Said 40

  • I still see that in most families, Mom is the primary care giver to children. How much men get involved is really up to them.

    May men make no effort to be as involved with their children as the mother is.

    I'm glad when I see active fathering going on. As we progress toward more equality in all societies, men are being encouraged to take a more active roll. I think that's a good thing.

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  • In the context of a romantic relationship, whoever spends the most time with the kid (s) is making the greater impact. And if a couple who values traditional gender roles places the woman at home to raise the babies... how on earth is the guy an “equal” partner? Paying bills isn’t the same thing as being a parent. So maybe stay at home moms do see their guy as an equal caretaker but if I were ever in that situation, i would not be able to agree.

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  • YES! He needs to participate and demonstrate how a decent man is supposed to treat a woman and behave within a family. He should be a leader and a role model. Just the same as a mother is. TWO halves of a whole child.

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    • "Now remember sweetie, if daddy doesn't wear the dog collar when you tell him too, he's not a good man and you should call the police immediately."

    • I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about, but your read entirely too far into the point I was making.

  • I pushed my husband into being a better and more involved father and all I can say is that it wasn't easy to achieve.
    He was raised old school with his mother taking on a massive part of the parenting.
    My husband is a wonderful father and husband and the kids know that they can rely on him as much as they do me.

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  • Raising children is a woman's job. Men need to discipline and be fathers, but women are the primary caregivers.

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  • Hell no! It isn't guys who are up all night with baby to feed baby or change diapers. When we are up nursing baby and trying to get it back to sleep guess who is sleeping and it isn't mom and baby.

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  • It takes both parents effort to make a child I don't see why not it should not be both parents raising the child. You get a family where the father works to provide for the mother and child where as the mother stays home and thus spends more time with the child and thus educates the child more.

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  • Yes, but I think much of the time they play different roles. You have a rule maker or a disciplinarian and the more nurturing roles. Obviously there’s overlap, but usually one parent feels more comfortable taking on one part or another.

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  • It depends if you have a man willing to step up and help. Some guys are happy to let the woman do most of the work especially if he's doing most of the providing which to me equals itself out.

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  • Yes I do but I’d really like to be the one that stays home with them until they’re of school age.

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  • Mainly I think that most females do view males as equals. Obviously each person and each case are their own, but parenting should be done from both sides, at least in my opinion. There are some things that your mother teaches you and there are other things that your father teaches you. Each are equally important. I repeat important but not indispensable. Because you have to admire the work that single parents do. Regardless, I think that society does view the woman as more important when it comes to the parenting roll. Specifically when the male is the breadwinner. However I think it's important that both parents have a hand in raising their kids. If it's any other way the parents end up regretting it and the kids end up resenting them. That's just what I think.

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  • No, they are basicslly there for no reason. They're in the way and you have to take care of two babies.

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  • I personally do, I expect my husband to put in as much work as I do in raising our kids. I grew up without a father, and because of that I realize how important having two involved parents can be.

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  • Man tends to think that raising kids is a woman job.

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  • In my experience no. Buts it more about rolls than genders

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  • Yes. It´s their child. This child has both parents meaning both parents should care for it!

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  • For some reason I feel like there's something quite strange about this question

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  • Most of times women give a lots for their children.

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    • So do men. Some have to leave their families to work, so they can have a life.

  • Of course

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  • It should be equal. m

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    • Have you noticed a big shift in parenting?

    • @Goodwifie Yes I have. I still remember my son saying to my husband "how long did you have off on paternity leave" only to be told about 12 hours! Life was like that and whilst I stayed at home my husband supported whenever he could but he was really the breadwinner and missed a lot of our children's life stages in the first 1-4 years because he needed to work. Now my son and daughter and their respective partners seem to share far more and it's lovely to see that. Incidentally I remember asking mum was dad at my birth only to be told he visited later in the day I was born as men weren't allowed anywhere near when a woman gave birth. It goes to show how each of the three generations have had pressures and then subsequent shifts.

  • Lol tbh it depends

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  • I feel that they at least should be.

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  • Absolutely.

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  • It should be equal!

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  • I want him to be.

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  • They should do

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  • Nope!!

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  • Nope. Women are better at parenting.

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    • I don't think that women are necessarily better at parenting. Statistically children raised by single Mothers are much more likely to live in poverty, engage in sexual activity earlier on, get pregnant as teens, get poor grades, abuse drugs and alcohol, suffer with mental health issues, and commit crime.

      Children need both parents. Each offers something that the other doesn't, that's what men and women are made to do. Women are more empathetic and nurturing, which makes them better at taking care of babies and toddlers. This is an advantage when it comes to figuring out what the kids needs - my girlfriend is great at that, I'm clueless. Men being less empathetic are better at disciplining children though because we don't feel as bad about it - with me and my girlfriend it's "good cop" (her) and "bad cop" (me). Men are also more likely to allow the child to take risks which is essential for learning.

    • Children don’t need both parents. Obviously as single mothers raise kids all the time. Women are naturally better parents. It’s a fact which is why we win most cases. We are just better.

  • Yes we do

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