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I mean, in this case, she outright told him she was 14. The second that’s divulged, this dude should’ve banged a U-turn and dropped her back off with her people. I can’t reasonably hold a 14 year old to a standard of knowing better than to do that, realistically. Teenagers are often impulsive and don’t think about the consequences of their actions. I understand what you’re trying to get at, but ultimately the adult is going to bear the burden of responsibility. I used to worry when I was younger and still in the age range to be hooking up with girls around 18 that one would be underage and lie about it, I understand more about enforcing some sort of consequence for that. I think it was kind of foul for the girl to turn him in after she sought him out, knowing he was an adult, but again, she never lied to him, and he made a conscious decision to follow through on something he shouldn’t have. I’d say I’d be most offended on her part about the seeming lack of remorse even years later. Nothing absolves him of knowingly having sex with a child, but I can see some shred of an angle where you’d be like “she initiated the whole thing, didn’t regret it, still turned him in, still doesn’t regret the sex years later, and doesn’t really feel bad that the guy ultimately killed himself.” I don’t think she sounds like a great person, and she did play a role in what ultimately was a game-changing event in that guy’s, but seems like her attitude is “thanks for the dick! Sorry I’m not sorry for initiating all this when you were just minding your own business and setting off a chain of events that eventually led to your suicide, but it was probably something else anyway! YOLO, lol.” I get it, and if ONE critical detail was different, I’d feel a lot differently. But this entire thing pivots on “HE KNEW SHE WAS 14 AND HE FUCKED HER ANYWAY”, so I just can’t give the guy a pass on it. She sounds reckless and selfishly motivated, I’m not arguing that, but I just don’t know how you punish her if she told him her actual age and he still went through with it.
Legally speaking he was definitely the only one at fault here. Speaking from a moral standpoint they were both in the wrong here. He knowingly had sex with a child, and she knowingly approached an adult for sex when she really should have been old enough to know better. Then decided to turn the guy in for an encounter that she initiated, knowing that it would likely wreck his life when she did so even though she regretted nothing about what happened. If she hadn’t told him that she was underage I’d say that it was all on her, but she did and that’s the real guilt marker for him. Ultimately what makes me feel that she has some responsibility here is the fact that she has demonstrated absolutely no remorse or regret for her actions. And in fact seems to be denying that her actions likely led to this man taking his own life. It just seems to me that her behavior demonstrates a total lack of empathy, or even a sense of responsibility for her own actions.