Should teenage girls be held responsible for approaching older men?

What do you think of the girl in this story? I think she should be held responsible.


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  • No
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  • I mean, in this case, she outright told him she was 14. The second that’s divulged, this dude should’ve banged a U-turn and dropped her back off with her people. I can’t reasonably hold a 14 year old to a standard of knowing better than to do that, realistically. Teenagers are often impulsive and don’t think about the consequences of their actions. I understand what you’re trying to get at, but ultimately the adult is going to bear the burden of responsibility. I used to worry when I was younger and still in the age range to be hooking up with girls around 18 that one would be underage and lie about it, I understand more about enforcing some sort of consequence for that. I think it was kind of foul for the girl to turn him in after she sought him out, knowing he was an adult, but again, she never lied to him, and he made a conscious decision to follow through on something he shouldn’t have. I’d say I’d be most offended on her part about the seeming lack of remorse even years later. Nothing absolves him of knowingly having sex with a child, but I can see some shred of an angle where you’d be like “she initiated the whole thing, didn’t regret it, still turned him in, still doesn’t regret the sex years later, and doesn’t really feel bad that the guy ultimately killed himself.” I don’t think she sounds like a great person, and she did play a role in what ultimately was a game-changing event in that guy’s, but seems like her attitude is “thanks for the dick! Sorry I’m not sorry for initiating all this when you were just minding your own business and setting off a chain of events that eventually led to your suicide, but it was probably something else anyway! YOLO, lol.” I get it, and if ONE critical detail was different, I’d feel a lot differently. But this entire thing pivots on “HE KNEW SHE WAS 14 AND HE FUCKED HER ANYWAY”, so I just can’t give the guy a pass on it. She sounds reckless and selfishly motivated, I’m not arguing that, but I just don’t know how you punish her if she told him her actual age and he still went through with it.

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  • Legally speaking he was definitely the only one at fault here. Speaking from a moral standpoint they were both in the wrong here. He knowingly had sex with a child, and she knowingly approached an adult for sex when she really should have been old enough to know better. Then decided to turn the guy in for an encounter that she initiated, knowing that it would likely wreck his life when she did so even though she regretted nothing about what happened. If she hadn’t told him that she was underage I’d say that it was all on her, but she did and that’s the real guilt marker for him. Ultimately what makes me feel that she has some responsibility here is the fact that she has demonstrated absolutely no remorse or regret for her actions. And in fact seems to be denying that her actions likely led to this man taking his own life. It just seems to me that her behavior demonstrates a total lack of empathy, or even a sense of responsibility for her own actions.

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What Girls & Guys Said

27
  • They need to be taught that they should not be flirting with adult men. But legally the adult is responsible. If there is any type of sexual intimacy between them the adult is in hot water , not the underage kid.

    If the girl or boy is under the age of consent than , as per the law , she/he cannot consent. The adult must exercise restraint if not fr the kid than for their own protection ( so as to avoid being dragged off to prison)

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  • Well, the guy knows what he is doing but teen girls also know
    when they take off or take up with these older Men what's up
    with them , I would say both are to blame.

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  • Responsible as in support them and make sure they're okay as it's not normal for a teen girl to do this (Taking teen to mean minor here) maybe some therapy, but any kind of trouble? No!

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  • I think that if an underage teenager is found in a compromising position with an adult, both should be punishment; both should have known better and both are equally guilty of breaking the law.

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  • Approaching them like a date?

    If so, yes. If she knows it is bad, she shouldn‘t do it and no man should agree to it.

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  • No, teenage girls aren't responsible. The law says so.

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    • Not difference between "should" and "are"...

    • agree, actually, laws aren't always a moral stand-point to go off of (take the old American pro-slavery laws for example). i mean if you want to avoid legal repercussions you certainly should follow the law (age is just a number, jail is just a room etc.) so let's cite biology; now i don't know much biology but i've been made well aware that a teenage brain is not fully developed so if an adult takes advantage of that under-developed pre-frontal cortex to make a move on a minor then yes, that is inherently immoral.

    • @elizabeth-Jen the problem is that the brain isn’t fully developed until 25. So technically if a 25 year old has sex with a 24 year old the same rational could be used. Now obviously it’s not an exact number, and people develop differently. But age of consent is really just a number that the government decided to slap down, and it varies a lot between countries, and even between states and provinces. The ones I really take issue with are when 18-19 year olds are sent to jail for having sex with 16-17 year olds. Neither is fully matured, and yet the older one is considered legally culpable where the one that’s 2-3 years younger isn’t. I’ve even seen a few cases where the “adult” wasn’t even aware that the person they were sleeping with was under age, and their parents or the government are the ones pressing charges not the so called victim. I do believe that if someone knowingly breaks the law they should go to jail, but in certain cases shouldn’t we be asking ourselves wether the law is right, and wether the “victim” didn’t do something wrong as well. Now in this particular case the man was clearly old enough to know better, but so was the girl. She was old enough to know that what she was asking this man to do was illegal. But she did it anyways and had no problem with it afterwards, and no problem wrecking his life even though she stated she had no regrets. I mean she basically said thanks for the sex dude, now go to jail because that was wrong.

  • If they look like they could be over 18 and they're not and they lie about their age then yes they should be responsible. Otherwise no, don't be a creep. If you knowingly sleep with a minor as ann adult then yeah you should be punished.

    If they're 17 say they're 18 and sleep with a 19 year old then yeah there should be some type of punishment because thtey could fuck a guys life up.

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  • It should be illegal for teen girls to exist

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  • Define teen here. Teen as in a 12-14-year-old? Maybe they should know a bit better, but the older guy is fully mentally developed whereas the girl isn't, and if he allows things to escalate, then he's pretty disgusting. 16-18 year old? They definitely should know better, as should he, and again, he's the one with life experience and who is fully mentally developed, he should have sense not to be a pervert and take advantage of a teen if she approaches.

    I guess if it's an older teen, both should be held accountable, but more so the adult.

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    • What’s wrong with 16-18? They can make their own decisions.

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    • @AllThatSweetJazz I fully agree that stupid adults and wise teens exist. So basically to sum everything up, you see nothing wrong with a 50 year old guy hooking up with a 16 year old girl?

    • If they're both genuinely into it and assuming they meet the age of consent then no. No more than any other relationship. It could be amazing or awful just as any other relationship. It's up to those involved to figure it out.

      I think it's a lot better for people to responsibly pursue things they're actually interested in rather than societally prescribed roles and norms.

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