Are men held to traditional standards?

The Confident Male ↗ by @Wowgirl30q got me thinking. And I'm not saying anything against her specifically or her particular Take, I'm just thinking generally here.

There have been quite a few Takes on the ideal man/ideal woman. What I've noticed is that a man posting on the ideal woman gets his dated ideas ridiculed (at least mostly by women), while a woman who posts about her ideal man is praised along with her old fashioned ideas of men (at least mostly by other women).

What's attractive seems to be if a man has double the confidence, ambition, and competence of any woman. It's even attractive if he's a hot head and basically hulks out into conflict. But what makes a man attractive seems to boil down to having more power than a woman. Sure equal power is well and good, but him having more power is preferred. Anything less than a given woman's power means that a man either doesn't have a chance with her, or the relationship is now over.

It's obvious to me that the human rights violations that happend to women in the 20th, 19th centuries and further on needed to be ended and solved. This is what I agree with. But at the heart of so much recent successful activism is the idea that men shouldn't have more power than women, right? Yet, isn't this stramgely the social standard men are still held to today? As in, it seems to be his power advantage, dominance, higher utility/usefulness that attracts any woman. Women are equal, but they need men to be better.

As disgusting as this may sound, for whatever reason I get the impression that relationships are still just a trade of power for sexuality. Love still isn't love. It's just a business contract it seems.

by the way there's no intention of sounding misandric or misogynistic, this is just a question

Are men held to traditional standards?
Are men held to traditional standards?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Look man, you've got to have SOMETHING to bring to the table. Not only that, but it has to be something that the other party actually WANTS. For most guys (not all but most) what we tend to want is a woman who is loyal, trustworthy, loving, supportive, playful, and hot. That will get a girl pretty far in terms of attracting guys. It seems to me that most girls want a guy who has the characteristics that @Wowgirl30q pointed out. Confidence and power among them. I'm not sure why either of those positions is in any way a "problem." That's just what sells. Does it mean you can't get anywhere unless you have all those characteristics? No. Just that your appeal will be less broad.

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    • 8 d ago

      There's always something to offer isn't there? That should be inherent. And I try to look for beauty rather that just hotness. Beauty is subjective too but it also has more staying power than hotness.

      On a basic level I see your point and agree. But where you run into a problem is that there will always be someone "better" when hotness is your main reason for appreciating someone on a deep level.

    • 8 d ago

      Even if there is someone "better" when dealing with hotness, the same applies to any other quality. Also, just because someone is "better" doesn't mean they're available to you.

    • 8 d ago

      If they're not available then it wouldn't be problematic

  • From the actions and decisions of women, you have to come to the conclusion that women hold men to the highest standards in all categories, but refuse to hold themselves to any standard at all.

    A man's standards are always seen as oppressive. Want a fit woman? You're fat-shaming! Pretty? Impossible beauty standards! Want a woman who can cook? Sexist! A woman who hasn't been in 100 men's bed? Slut-shaming!

    Where have all the real men gone? It doesn't matter. A real man has standards, and standards are something to be shamed... unless you're a woman.

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    • 8 d ago

      Real men aren't afraid to be shamed by losers. I dont care how many sluts call me a slut shamer, i dont date sluts. I will tell anyone that to their face. Men are the problem too scared to speak up and too out of control their dicks to stop rewarding hos. Its a lie men can't keep it in their pants, men can be gate keepers of sex too. Im good looking and successful, i tell women no all the time. That makes me even more attractive.

    • 8 d ago

      @bamesjond0069 I agree. I was talking in general. Women have high standards for men, hate men who have high standards for women, and then ask where the real men have gone. We're still here, we just won't settle for the average chick, especially since the average has taken a hard downhill slide.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if you read my response you know they that is my my take and I think there were others who also see things differently

    Keep in mind takes gets to attract like minded people

    If you do a take on old fashion dating you will attract people who see things that way.

    on a new way of dating you will attract people who think that way.

    Rey it. Rather than a response piece. Just do a take on how you enjoy dating you idea if a good balance, And see if you get encouragement.

    I think you would.😊

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Not anymore. At least not as much. But these traditional standards are always a good thing to have.

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  • I'm a trend setter

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  • I believe that you shouldn't hold anyone up to standards. We all are different at some degree, so the ideal partner - if such a thing even exists - is not a standard. He/she is different for each person too... think of it like a tailored suit. The propabilities that a "forgotten" perfect suit will fit you perfectly are minor.
    I personally don't believe in the "perfect" partner. I believe in mutual compromises. You can't expect to get everything your way, you have to make some compromises too to be "perfect" for your SO.

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    • 6 d ago

      This needs more likes

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    • 5 d ago

      Personally I don't see a problem with this comment either. I guess the dislikes are because of the assumptions you have to make for the first sentence to make sense. But obviously to me a bare minimum standard, for example, is age. However I think the gist of what you mean is:

      "We should try to love the person as the person, not our idea of what the person should be or is."

    • 5 d ago

      You are right. I should have rephrased my thinking. But you got what I was trying to say...

  • Yes. Social Liberal men are soft pussies who like to get pegged from the back like fags.

    Traditional men are tough, courgeous, confident and bold as a man ought to be.

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  • If a couple is planning on having children, a man has to have something extra to compensate for the fact that the woman is the one going through all the burden of the pregnancy/childbirth. This is the only way the man and woman can contribute equal value to a relationship.

    "men shouldn't have more power than women, right?" Depends on what you mean.
    From a Biblical perspective, men are to have more authority than women, but Biblical authority isn't about being served, but about serving the people under your authority (Matt 20:25-28) & doing what's in THEIR best interest, not your own (Phil 2:3-4).
    As an authority figure, your own self-interest is so unimportant that (if it's necessary) you're expected to give your own life for the interests of the person under your authority (Matt 20:28, Eph 5:25).

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    • 7 d ago

      I think I somewhat understand. And this is an interesting comment, thanks. What is "something extra"? Is it a quality that's specifically useful for caring for/raising children, or just something appealing for herself?

      Today's society does make childbirth a less extreme consequence of sex than what it was in the past, but it's still a very big deal obviously. Usually the man would just work enough so that the woman didn't have to. But... today you can get your degree and still not get paid anything resembling what you should.

      On power and serving others, I mean... Does authority mean having "something extra" or is it being kind and selfless? Given a man is kind and selfless, and would give his life for his wife and child, or any woman "under his authority" etc., would it lower his authority if he does not necessarily have "something extra"? Which, I guess in this case the extra would mean a greater worldly success.

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    • 7 d ago

      I think that's a pretty good way to put it. Maybe some union jobs are good for a man to have; because they might be good with covering some of those costs, if higher salary jobs aren't there.

    • 7 d ago

      Outside of and preceding any immediate planning for a baby though, love should already be there right? Is that still a business contract, a feeling you have for the person, or a choice to be devoted, even when inevitably your partner is unlovable for a time, or self sacrifice/compromise is required?

  • Yes. Its a shit test. Just be traditional and call any girl who holds the double standard a ho and ignore her mostly. Watch how your life improves when actual good girls want you and how desperate nasty skank dumpster garbage gets. Smh.

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  • Yeah and they complain if we tell them they should do their role to be the submissive one because it is sexist but they want to reduce men into emotionless bodyguard robots and money making ATM trash because men should be dominant and for whatever reason it is not objectification. Can you see the double standards right there?

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  • Women are insane. There's really no logic to what they do. The ones who pretend to not be crazy are even crazier.

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  • I agree that most men do not really act like men anymore, as she mentioned, but to me, that is only half of the situation, I think at the same time, it is the case that most women do not really act like women anymore.

    And this is not even necessarily in the traditional sense, I speak mainly of the traits often associated with each of the two genders, most men have lost their strength, while most women have lost their compassion.

    So now you have 'men' who cannot even stand up for their own beliefs, but instead will go along with whatever others tell them to, and you have 'women' who betray their husband's trust and abandon him, just because she found someone with more money.

    These are just a few examples, but I think both genders have some issues in today's culture.

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  • I think they are. But the very standard,(traditional and chivalrous), is an ideal that is labeled as toxic and demeaning to women by many, which is sad.

    It's easy to foolishly blanket all women and indeed all men, but everybody has their own standards.

    My opinion is that in many situations Traditional Men are desired and ridiculed at the same time by many women. Traditional women are desired by men but ridiculed by women.

    "You're a strong independent woman, you don't need or want no man!", "you are free to sleep around because slut shaming is wrong!".

    Yet the very people who slut shame are the ones touting this crap.

    Those same people who say this crap, are often the same ones asking "where have all the good men gone?"

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  • Not really. Some people want genders to act like 200 years ago, but it's not my thing.

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  • Depends on how you ask the question in my opinion. If you ask me what job I would want without limitations then what is stopping me from saying I want millions of dollars an hour for not doing anything?

    If you rephrased the question to be about what job I would want that I could see myself getting quite happily then that lofty and unrealistic ambition gets dropped down to computer game developer.

    Equally both men and women dream about completely unrealistic partners where as they all know that they would actually accept a more ordinary person if they were more realistic with themselves.

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  • I honestly have seen no person ever take our side on this ever thank you

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  • Traditional standards are better though I recommend reading stand by your manhood by Peter Lloyd

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  • Yeah we are.

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  • I think both are and that's how it should be

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  • I don't think I agree.

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  • Yes they are

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  • Mostly by other men

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  • These are the rules.

    You have to like women for who they are and you have to be who women want you to be. That’s all. Act outside of those bounds and you get dumped on. So it’s no strictly “traditional standards” it’s just whatever they want regardless of traditional or whatever else.

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  • Basically women hold men up to wayy higher standards then they hold themselves, like most women I know who don’t drive, work a shitty job, don’t take care of themselves all expect a man to drive them around have a well paying job and take care of themselves, this is just my personal observations obviously but it just seams that a lot of women piggyback off of a mans accomplishments to feel successful

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  • I don't think so. Women don't NEED a man in their life to make their life happier.
    They could want a woman instead😏

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    • 8 d ago

      No homo ig😅

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    • 6 d ago

      I like girls, I don't know how you assumed all of that 😂

    • 6 d ago

      Because I'm not talking about you and ironically you're assuming women don't NEED men

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