That's Katie, I've had her since the fall of 2007, she was born that summer. Today I had to have her put to sleep as I made the decision earlier in the week since she had cancer for the third time, and they said chemotherapy or this was my only two options. Our relationship has been amazing and I can't explain how grateful I am for her and happy that we got her at the dog place (I remember that day very well). She's always been there for me whenever she could be, her joy was super contagious, and she always brought me up when I was down, no matter the cost to her it held. For instance, when I had testicular torsion and could barely walk, she'd stay in bed with me all day and all night, not getting off for any reason, even to eat or drink, and whenever my mom tried to take her downstairs, she immediately ran back up, jumped on my bed, and cuddled up next to me. In short, I made the decision so she wouldn't have to suffer. I held her tightly the entire time, telling her how much I loved her and how grateful I was, she licked me back a lot, the sedative made her sleep very quickly, I squeezed her more, then they gave the medicine that stops her heart. She then opened her mouth slightly and her tongue hanged out. It was by far the saddest moment of my entire life and I already miss her so much. How do I handle this?