Growing up, I wasn’t the abominable “twig” but I was nowhere near the glorified hourglass figure. When I was 16 I would share those memes that picture a big booty girl with the caption “skinny girls when they turn 25”- and I believed that it was my duty to get myself to that point if I wanted to be a “woman”. As the years passed I would think up new schemes to get bigger even considering the side effects of birth control being weight gain as reason that I wanted to take it. I watched the skinny girls around me grow either due to the after effects of child birth or a slowing metabolism perhaps. And these other women would share before and after photos on social media getting all the praises as they were christened into womanhood and accepted for the transformation. I realized body positivity had taken on a new meaning. It didn’t help my own plight that other woman’s claim to victory was that guys like a little something to hold at night. And I had been in relationships with men who adored that womanly shape and only tolerated me because at least I wasn’t “a stick”. I’m 21 now and I don’t know what I’m going to look like in the next couple years but a I have given up on the idea that I’m just going to grow into a womanly-er woman in the next few years or exercise my way into being bigger (because my body type doesn't cooperate with my expectations) nor am I going to experiment or diet my way into a bigger butt. Lord forbid I ever would have the desire to get any type of surgical enhancement in my body. I am skinny and this is what I am. And I need to celebrate it now while I’m still living in this body that has done SO much more for me than just be a sexual object. I have come way too far in this body just to hate it for not being good enough. And I want to remind women is that REAL body positivity comes from WITHIN. It doesn’t come from glorifying who you wish you were, but from prioritizing the health of the woman you are now -mentally and physically.