How do you thrive in a culture you don't like?

kali_hacker
I'm in the culture of my birth, the majority race and male gender yet I don't like it a lot. I'm not even talking about the sociopolitical but the day to day. For example, all the HOWAREYOU bots? In Germany they don't molest you with this question. It's fine if they care, but they are strangers and they have the gall to expect you to say 'good', which is a form of gas lighting or something. Also for example they play loud music all the time in public, in cafes where I like to study. I get free choice, but it's partly ubiquitous. I ask and they turn it down but I come back it's loud. I don't want to be annoying or have to bother. Also, for example, dating- I am INTP but virtually INFP as those two are close. I'm not shy. Introversion is not the same as shyness, and it's not arrogance but being in loud groups drains me of energy. I am active in hobbies and sports, rock climbing, ballroom, a little jiu jitsu, weight lifting even. I am not a homebody. I own my own house and others, no parents basement for me. In fact my dad was less of a man than I am. I am tall. But despite all this I find myself alone and misunderstood and lonely. I feel other cultures provide a lot better of what I need but I don't want to move just for that. I try be grateful for want I do have and what my culture provides (a lot), but why are people so obsessed with asking 'how I am' and why is dating so superficial. These are just examples. Why do young women often feel catty around men, even the ones they like or crush on? Why can't they just be chill. I have found this is not biological but cultural. These facets of my home culture are illogical and unhelpful for me. I love people from all types but when the dominant culture is so flat and oppressive it gets hard. It's almost like it's designed for only one type of person and that type is not me, and I know it is also not many women. It leads to depression if you're not conscious, or frustration if you are.
How do you thrive in a culture you don't like?
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