I have been studying French with an exchange student from Tunisia for a few months. My boyfriend friend said “ be careful” ... Should I drop him?

They have not met. was planning on introducing them next weekend. Now forget it. 😒

I was so caught off guard when he said that. It was not with a smirk or anything he seemed to think he was giving sage advice. The fact it is patronizing to me is the least of my concern -though it is no small concern.

Now I don’t know if he is just a closeted racist , sexist , bigot or ALL. None are ok. I can not think of any scenario where what he said Would be warranted.

I simply told him About my friend. He is helping me practice French bc I aim to visit distant relatives in France in the Spring. He is awesome I really enjoy his company and he is polite and kind and clever. Nothing in there says “Oof.. be careful you know how these people are”.

Also he is gay so if anyone thinks it’s jealousy.. He knows he is gay.

I can’t really see asking him

“ Why did you earn me to “ be careful” ?
🤔🤨

Bc he is black ; Gay; A guy; From a “ shit hole country” ( I don’t believe this clearly I’m illustrating what I suspect to be the type of attitude , that would compel a person to say what he said.)

My boyfriend has always been very considerate and kind. The worst I can say about him is his life has been un encumbered by any kind of major difficulty.

His parents are not Rich but his Great Aunt is a wealthy Philanthropist and she has always doted on him. She does not hide he is her favorite great nephew- They are close. She has always been very supportive of him.

But mostly this upbringing seems to make him relaxed and boyishly sweet -if sometimes ever so slightly spoiled or entitled. I don’t think this in itself should result in any kind of bigotry- unless you are already an asshole.😒

I am part Chinese part Russian he has never shown any issue with that. I’m Jewish on my fathers side. He on his Mothers. His parents are from Germany. He grew up in the states. I am rather close to his great Aunt.

Shocked. This is absolutely one thing I never thought would be an issue..
I have been studying French with an exchange student from Tunisia for a few months. My boyfriend friend said “ be careful”  ... Should I drop him?
Drop him. He is certainly bigot if not racist/ sexist.. . Very Little point in asking him to explain bc he will probably just lie.
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I have been studying French with an exchange student from Tunisia for a few months. My boyfriend friend said “ be careful”  ... Should I drop him?
Maybe.. Get the story first.
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1 mo
Shocked. This is absolutely one thing I never thought would be an issue.. Bigotry In any form. Suffice to say I will not accommodate or tolerate it in the slightest. It is easily something I will say good bye over.

It may seem trivial just one measly sentence— it was the WAY it was said. I seriously dread having to unpack this with him. He probably didn’t mean to be so transparent. Ultimately it’s good bc it’s something I want to know..

Terrible!!
1 mo
So.. clearly I wrote this in haste. It was literally right after the incident. I didn’t want to adjust my reaction. I wanted to see how it looked to be totally honest with what I was thinking.. I never do this irl. I am always taking a step back thinking rationalizing not letting it get to me.. So this was raw. Which I find interesting. But yes, I suppose it would not be right to not discuss it. Still.. I am not expecting this to go well.

Anyhow, thank you for your honesty 🙂
I have been studying French with an exchange student from Tunisia for a few months. My boyfriend friend said “ be careful” ... Should I drop him?
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