I feel like in a way as an adult I do things to purposely make myself miserable or unhappy. I yearn to be a normal kid and a normal person and I try really hard to hide my self harted/loathing from others. I want to be a kid again because at least then I was innocent and didn't feel like I had to hide anything and I didn't puposely do things to make myself miserable. I try so hard to be look/ be normal.
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