Here's the story. Ever since I moved to Florida six years ago, I've become more quiet. I have less in common with people here. Whenever I talk about my interests to people I'm just getting to meet, they just stare at me, or give me this awkward look. This lowered my confidence over the years. I've only made 20 good friends throughout school grades after moving. I only have contact with 3 of them right now. Everyone in Florida is so talkative and loud and it's intimidating. That's when I learned what introverts and extroverts was. All of my friends moved to different schools when I got to the 9th grade. I had to start from scratch again. It was depressing. But when I got to the 10th grade, I made at least ten of the twenty of my good friends. I feel like I was supposed to have more. I'm just too nervous to approach people. And the people I'm around seem not to suffer from that problem. Not even the quiet people. They have friends that they've known since kindergarten and I'm always starting over every year. I'm willing to start being more social. When school started again for me 3 days ago, I have been going outside at least once everyday because I'm having online school due to covid. I live in a rather poor neighborhood with mostly African americans, hispanics and muselims. I'm also African American and part native American. I've seen like two groups of people my age. I felt so intimidated. Especially around the girls. I felt like the girls were gonna start cussing me out for some reason or stare me down until I start shaking. I just walk past them. I can give a warm and welcome hello and goodbye but I struggle to make actual conversation without pauses or so many awkward silences. I've real online that this is only natural to becoming more extroverted and making deeper connections. Especially around ladies my age.
I don't want to beat myself up about it but at the same time if I don't them I feel like I'm going to become more lazy. I'm training to make daily walks become a habit rather than a hard job I have to do. I want to have more fun outside with people. I don't know yet if some people here have things in common with me and that's why I'm building myself up to find out. Should I be doing more? Should I try not to beat myself up about it? I need advice.