What should a sign outside your door or property say?

What should a sign outside your door or property say?
Mine:
If you do not appreciate good music (alternative music like Radiohead), beware. You will not be happy here. There are no kids or barking dogs. And most of the time adjacent will be quiet and I am responsible and an upstanding citizen. But I stay up late, play my music and movies loud, and from time to time strange smells will be emanating from these windows. I don't exist, I live. If you are not interested in the same, it's going to be a rocky road between us.
What should a sign outside your door or property say?
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