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16 d
Should boys and girls be raised to embrace masculinity and femininity, respectively?
Physics-Man
Yoda
- I think kids are too separated based on gender and it creates alienation and misunderstanding for no reason once they grow up. I have always had a really even distribution of genders in my friend groups and I think it's made me happier and more balanced as a person. I don't see men are this mysterious or scary other. I'm not afraid of my boyfriend's female friends "stealing" him because I hang out with them just as much as he does and they are super caring and wonderful. Life is more calm and fun when you see people as individuals first and their gender last.
Plus this often leads to kids being punished or humiliated for interests that come naturally to them just because those interests may not perfectly fit gender stereotypes. My dad was berated and shamed by my grandpa for liking drawing and having an interest in fashion so he went into engineering to appease him.
Well, he hated engineering and dropped out and he never achieved his career goals... because they were never his goals. Now he has a really strained relationship with my grandpa and resents him. My dad is super talented at drawing and he's always dressed well and been able to buy me clothes I love. He would have thrived in that industry.
I think he would have been really successful in fashion design and it kills me that he gave up his dream because of silly gender stereotypes. Because of this he never discouraged or policed my interests in the same way. He supported me when I was asked to join the wrestling team and we bonded over comic books but he also taught me about developing a personal style. I never had an awkward middle school bad-outfits phase thanks to him!0|10|0Is this still revelant? - Yes.0|50|2Is this still revelant?
Yeah, girls can't rollerblade because then they would have to take off their high heels! *obv sarcasm*
@devilman666 wearing 5 inch heels is more difficult than rollerblading, so a friend told me,...
- Show All Show Less
@IAMNathanael not heels, but seen trainers with blade wheels, roller heels would be an Olympic sport lol,,,
@Pete671
Haha, I'm just kidding around. But Heelys are a real thing made for both boys and girls. I used to own a pair.@IAMNathanael your fine mate, yes I've also seen heelys in the supermarket, a little girl was whizzing around on them, couldn't work it out at first lol,,,
@Pete671 nah, you friend thinks that cause he's male, girls are naturals in heels just like men are natural with sports like rollerblading, skateboarding, and biking, men and women are built differently and learn at different rates with different things, this is why both genders need their own hobbies with 0 overlap. *continued sarcasm*
Most Helpful Guys
- What constitutes masculinity/femininity is the first question that ought to be asked. It’s super frequent on here that people complain about “men acting more like women” and “women acting more like men”. But what if those basic traits that they proscribe to either are just a more general thing? Question then becomes whether masculinity/femininity are rigid concepts defined from the times when women couldn’t even own a banking account (and I know lots of guys on here yearn for those times) or whether they evolve over time.
If we’re gonna assume they are super rigid concepts, nah fuck that. There’s no need to impose those set of norms on kids, let them act like they want (given e. g. that they act decent) and let them play with whatever toy they want.
If these are more flexible concepts, it’s more acceptable.
I mean, plenty of guys will think it’s feminine for a woman to stay at home and basically be a baby machine. However, teaching girls that immediately strips away their personal aspirations to do more than that. Plus, it’s a complete waste of talent, resources and intelligence.1|20|5Is this still revelant?Masculinity and femininity is easily determined by nature. Men with short hair. Women with longer hair.
Physical strength: Men are stronger than women. Women are physically more fragile.
Men are more the leader and head. Women by nature have a more submissive nature.
Most clothing is totally different unless its unisex clothing i. e. some t-shirts.What dictates by nature that women should e. g. skirts? It’s quite the case that nowadays feminine clothing used to be more worn among men in the past. That’s one major hole in the theory that somehow that’s dictated by nature.
That’s also with hair. There is no substantial difference between the growth rate of hair of a man and a woman. In ancient Greece, long hair was common for men. Same in Medieval times when short hair for men meant servitude. It’s actually mostly in then20th century where long hair became a big thing for women. Clearly, there is not a consistent hair length throughout-history despite biology staying basically the same.
Furthermore, why would physical stature enter this equation that significantly? Does weaker physique imply they automatically should not have career, that they should stay at home, that they should behave in a given way? Not really. For all intents and purposes, a lot of things that people do are not completely conditional on the physique that someone has. Like a guy with stronger physique can still do the dishes just like a weak woman can perfectly well have a demanding job in an office.
Yet you’ll find sufficient number of people on here arguing that women s. g. having an office job is not feminine. Why? The idea that natural gender roles, such as having the capacity to give birth, automatically should determine how someone is raised or the stuff they should automatically do in live is quite archaic.
Can a mother have a demanding job while also having kids? Sure.
Does having a vajazzle somehow mean that a little girl should play with a barbie doll or watch Winx club instead of Marvels? Nope.- Show All Show Less
Social constructs are part in place to differ women and men. I'm not against women working. But men and women have their different roles i. e. women wear women clothing and men wear men clothing. Long fair is feminine in nature and men short hair.
Gender dysphoria is for the mentally ill. A man can never be a woman no matter what he thinks or feels.Eh, it’s the case that nowadays feminine clothing used to be worn a lot by men centuries ago. And the standards on long and short hair have also changed over time.
Both of those are to a large extent social constructs.
And I’m not saying people feel like men or women when they are not as masculine/feminine.masculinity and femininity are known constants. you don't need to ask what they are. something is wrong with you if you don't know what they are
@007kingifrit
Okay, so what exogenously determines masculinity and femininity and determines they are known constant?
We’ve already established that traits typically seen as feminine/masculine in terms of hair, fashion and more have shifted over time, implying they are not constants.
For example, high heels were a masculine thing in France and now you’re seen as effeminate if you wear high heels as a guy.
And what basis is there to say beauty standards for masculine/feminine are constant over time? Again, there are wide differences globally and what constitutes the ideal. Do you think super long necks are feminine? In some parts of the world, they are. In other parts of the world, being fat is seen as a healthy and good thing whereas in other places the ideal is to be slim.
Even the defining characteristics of what constitutes femininity differs widely between given societiesSo no, the idea that femininity/masculinity are constants over time is unequivocally false.
Again, the question is what these concepts are to answer that question, and that inherently changes over time.
So if in 15 years certain traits that are traditionally seen as masculine (as in 50 years ago) are commonly accepted and promoted among women, it simply is not a solely masculine trait anymore.So they are based on nothing but they are constant? Yet we can easily verify that they are absolutely not constant over time nor geography.
So they are a constant despite them clearly not being constant over time nor geography? Okay
actually they are constant. anything you name that isn't constant would be like "clothing" or something, men are always the hunters and warriors women are always the gatherers and child care givers
you can probably find some backwards tribe in the middle of a remote region but its important to note they didn't promulgate. evolution drove them to extinction's door for their failed waysOkay fine, so if we ignore all the aspects of femininity and masculinity that change over time, it doesn’t change over time.
That, unless you don’t think clothing, fashion, role in society, beauty standards are at all relevant for whether someone can be categorized as feminine or masculine.
Should I remind you that typical behavioural traits that define femininity also differ between societies?
But hey, yeah I guess you’re right. If we ignore everything that says you’re wrong that they are constant, you’re right! Except ignoring all those relevant things for femininity, such as defining characteristics in character, fashion, beauty standards and role of society is stupid.And even then, you can reasonably ask whether women predominantly spending caring for children is societal or actually biological.
For all intents and purposes, it’s perfectly reasonable to argue that women had to spend more time on that and little else because those chores simply take a lot of time. A dishwasher is more quick than washing by hand. Then there is the relevant factor where women for hundreds of year have basically been forced into that role.
Now that the forced role is waning and it is actually far more possible to do things beyond caring for children, women are doing so. Seems like pretty good evidence that that dominant role in life is very much reinforced by society and relevant constraints on how time can be spent (next to biological roles)lol, nobody intelligent asks if its biological or not that women care for children. every society does it. its biological
Ugh, that’s literally not what I even said. I literally said biology is a relevant factor.
The question is whether the time spent on that matter, which people on here like to see as masculine, is determined significantly by society.Seriously, try reading. Everything you’ve conjured up to now is “if we ignore everything that shows these concepts are not constant, they are constant”
Except behavioural traits assigned to femininity being different between societies, beauty standards, fashion and roles in society differing over time and geography, you’re right. So yeah, if you ignore everything that says it’s not a constant, it’s constant!
nope. all of those things are very consistent. all cultures distinguish between male and female fashion. so i don't know why you listed that
Because what encompasses male and female fashion changes over time? For example, high heels used to be male just like skirts.
you're missing the bigger picture. every society distinguishes between male and female fashion. it doesn't matter if the individual fashions themselves change. so fashion is a constant distinction between men and women.
its hilarious to say that distinction isn't constant just because the fashion itself changesEh, you’re missing the bigger picture. The fact that fashion changes so radically over time with nowadays feminine things seen as masculine implies that the concept of feminine/masculine fashion is not rigid.
Obviously there is a distinction between generally male and female fashion. The thing you don’t get is that this distinction is not constant and that fashion is not constant. That means that the things we see as feminine/masculine are not constant, which is the entire point.
So much that defines femininity/masculinity changes over time, even if there consistently is a difference between those concepts over time. That implies that femininity/masculinity is not a constant concept.
Do you not understand that if masculine/feminine traits change over time that they are not constant? That it is important to define them?
It’s utterly ridiculous to argue what you’re arguing. So far that has been that if we ignore everything that is not constant, it’s constant. Now you add that the actual gist of masculine/feminine changing doesn’t matter as long as they are not exactly the same.the rigid part is that men and women dress differently to one another, and that is rigid
- Yes.
- Boys shouid grow up to be men
- girls should grow up to be women
2|71|1Is this still revelant?Yeah, girls can't rollerblade because then they would have to take off their high heels! *obv sarcasm*
After they are fully grown they can decide whether they wanna be the other sexual identity
HahahhaI've heard gay people say "God never makes mistakes"
If that is true, any person is male or female based on what genitalia they were born with.- Show All Show Less
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
2246- Yes in such a way so that they actually learn to love it instead of feeling like they are forced or anything like that. Some parents force it too much like 'boys study science girls study art' and that's toxic and so is suppressing natural masculine or feminine traits like making a daughter feel bad for enjoying dressing up especially when she's growing up.
I do want my future kids to be able to embrace their masculinity and femininity, however if they have some traits that are more common in the opposite gender then I won't make a big deal out of it.
I'm pretty feminine myself yet I have some tomboyishness in my body language and although I myself don't think this other trait of mine is that masculine, many of my male friends and peers are surprised when they find out I love watching cricket and they tell me that it's unusual for a girl to be into such things. Being a clutz isn't necessarily masculine but it is the opposite of being elegant/graceful/ladylike. I'll teach my kids that hardly anyone is 100% masculine or feminine.1|20|0 - The idea that masculinity and femininity don't exist is stupid. Should people be free to choose how they live their life? Absolutely, but we also know that 99% of people fall into two catagories and so pretending like they don't is moronic.
So girls should be raised girls, boys should be raised boys. If they decide they are more androgynous with their identity or transgender or what have you, fine, you can let them go that route but treating the abnormal and rare as normal and common is not a healthy or efficient way to go about things.0|40|1 - The idea that people are raised to be this way is a stupid leftist idea. Fathers being their natural masculine selves will raise children naturally masculine. Their sons will naturally gravitate towards this. No one is following some script on masculinity except the dumb leftist. They are the only ones telling you to resist natural masculinity or what is the 'proper" way to raise your children. They try to replace God in family structure and that is why their families are total failures. So just be a man and do your job before Jesus, don't listen to the Fools who try tell you otherwise.0|30|0
- Yes and no. Please hear me out.
Yes, men and women are different. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. So they should be raised to embrace the traits of their gender... if they WANT to.
Now here's the thing. Most boys naturally want to be masculine, and most girls naturally want to be feminine. That's why we see men dominating most high-paying or physical career fields (Although the latter is mostly due to men's greater physical strength). And that's why we see women dominating most cozy, lower-paying, or caretaking career fields.
And obviously, there are boys who are naturally inclined to be feminine, and girls naturally inclined to be masculine. THEY should be allowed to be themselves.
Basically, just let your kids be themselves, but due to biology, we're ALWAYS gonna see more manly men and feminine women.1|10|0 - Of course not. But American men are just weird.
You can't even have a common sense conversation with many of them about what traits are even masculine. I think this was at least three years ago when I created this take.
What Are Masculine Traits?
After many troubling conversations with a lot of guys here. I began to notice a pattern. So I wanted to create a thread to address a few things.
Apparently, many men at GaG cannot figure out how to define their masculinity independent of women. This creates a huge problem when it comes to understanding women's issues.1|00|1 - Not necessarily. But people have to respect and embrace the fact that men and women are different and have different qualities to bring to the table. If women want to be strong and independent and take on both roles, that's completely fine, but don't ever expect to experience a functional monogamous relationship. Bringing differences to the table and being strictly feminine and masculine has been the only way that monogamy has worked for humans. Otherwise we might as well live on our own.1|61|0
- They should be allowed to embrace whatever they want. If a boy or girl wants to play with dolls... fine... If a boy or girl wants to play with guns, and legos again fine. What we should not be doing is saying that a boy can't go into STEM or a girl can't be a teacher or a nurse.
There are whole add campaigns that say girls should go into STEM... no mention of it being ok for boys to go into STEM... Also no add campaigns to get boys into teaching or nursing... Its messages like this that paint a clear picture of Misandry in our society.0|00|0 - I will buy my sons guns and cars and my daughters dolls and princess dresses. I don’t want my sons thinking it is OK for them to wear a girl’s dress. I think people are becoming ridiculous these days. Some people even refuse to call their child by the sex they were born with and decide to let them choose. What on earth? I think that kind of upbringing is toxic. What small child is going to decide that? I’m pretty sure a normal kid will know he’s a boy or a girl and sometimes kids joke around and pretend to be things they’re not. They’re little kids and need guidance.
I won’t raise an effeminate boy in no way whatsoever
I will probably raise a very feminine girl because I am really feminine. I wouldn’t be caught dead in trainers! I giggle like a little girl. People often tell me that they’ve never met a more feminine woman (in behaviour and in the way I present myself!). So of course my child will most likely model that behaviour.0|10|0It's okay to raise your kids the way you want to raise them, but what would you do if hypothetically one of them did turn out gay or transexual?
@Bubbles45 I’m not sure. I am good friends with gay people and think they’re lovely but I don’t know what I would do if my own child were gay. I understand it to be in a person’s nature and isn’t something that can be changed or controlled and I would never disown my child because they’re my blood but I don’t know. I think I would be confused but I will support my child I think. My boyfriend will probably not accept it at all but he won’t disown them. He might just be very angry and he might blame me for it...
Understandable. :) I personally think it's not a choice, if they are then they are and that's that. However if they are influenced by outside sources then I can totally see it as a problem.
My parents are gay, I have two mom's, so I was mainly just curious on what your opinion was about it, thank you for the reply.
- It’s what causes natural balance in nature and attraction to create life.
Now some women are going to be more masculine and some men are going to be more feminine. People can choose what they want to be in life BUT they should have an upbringing that shows them the natural balance of Mother Nature. Straight boys who act feminine are in for a very hard life in my opinion.
They will have it harder than everyone else and for it’s imperative that these boys have a hard masculine upbringing to minimize that as much as possible.1|10|0 - I believe so, I know a lot of girls who are tomboys and that is their personality, there are also guys I know many of who are comfortable being feminine, I think it is something we should let them embrace at a young age and not be trying to tell them what they should be acting like, let them choose for themselves.1|10|0
- I think so. There's lots of things they can learn if they're taught it's ok to like certain things, be interested, wear, etc. regardless if they're a boy or a girl. I have a little nephew that likes to pretend to cook food. He has playsets for it and everything. It'd be wrong to tell him he can't like it just because he's a boy (plus people grow up learning to cook anyway). Why deprive kids of learning things that could be helpful later on in life?1|10|0
- Boys raised to embrace feminity are put at an extreme disadvantage in their life and females raised to be masculine will likely experience severe conflict in their adult relationships.
I do think both genders should learn to cook and self defense.
I don't think a person has to be confined to certain activities assigned to a gender but dressing your little boy in girls clothes and not allowing him to be masculine isn't right.0|10|0 - Masculinity and femininity as concept should not exist, in my opinion, if not in mild ways such as some very general guidelines on how to dress.
I think it's time we don't let what is or isn't dangling between our legs NOT define who we are as individuals.0|00|2 - Have parents ever thought of raising their kids with unconditional love and support rather than dictating how they'll end up spending their life? We are not talking about making them turn out like Tekashi69 AKA Daniel Hernandez.
I am still picking up all the shards of their fatal mistakes.1|10|0 
Anonymous15 dno, kids should be raised to embrace who they are.. whatever body they are born into. May they have some classical traits that are more common in the other gender, who cares.. as long as they are happy and treating other people well.5|20|5
Anonymous13 dYes, because feminine men are at a great disadvantage in almost every important area of life. And masculine women will always struggle to find a good man who finds them attractive. We owe it to our children to move past the political correctness that has poisoned society for years and teach them the life skills that will help them become successful and well adjusted adults.0|40|0- Boys and girls should be raised to be decent, rational and tolerant human beings. If you have to brainwash them at least make it something positive. Otherwise you could end up with POS like these:
Traitor 2|00|1 - I don't like how some are demonizing how raising a child to confirm with gender norms is evil and nothing short of terrorism. They want the 98% to change so that the 2% don't have to. How about we raise child as normal but realize that they won't all fit into the same mold and then support them. Instead we are seeing a number of children come out as transgender prior to puberty and then later recant their decisions. We are destroying many more children than we are saving0|10|0
- I feel like they should stop labeling things as "only for girls" and "only for guys."6|40|0
- No, because what is generally viewed as "femininity" and "masculinity" are for the most part made up concepts that have nothing to do with actually being male or female. We should stop forcing social constructs upon children and just let them be however they want to be.1|00|1
- Of course.
It used too be the two were Yin and Yang.
Kids today should be taught to accept who they and accept the opposite sex/gender as they are.
The emasculation of little boys is just plain out abuse.
Females should embrace their femininity.
Any parent or teacher who thinks otherwise is guilty of child abuse.
The pick your "own gender out of 57 variations" is utterl nonsense.0|11|0The child's gender isn't yours to choose thats why! its not up to you! the choice is theirs, and if it's how they feel and makes them happy trying to change them or brainwash them into thinking there is something wrong with them is the real freaking abuse and kids are suffering from it dearly through out the world! When all they wanted was to beloved for who they truly were from the the start im trans and my parents were ignorant just like you and it fucked me up bad so take your stupid Ying yang theory and fuck off
- I think we should just let people chose the way they want to present themselves. Whether that be in a masculine or feminine way. Pushing these stereotypes onto children will damage them in the long term.3|30|5
- Nah, no need to be raised to embrace either. A child should be allowed to play with whatever toys they wish, a parent shouldn't stand in their way of developing.0|00|0
- Absolutely, positively yes, but bringing up a girl "horsey" is a plus. She can be "girly" as well. 0|10|0
- Yes. There's the misconception that women need to act like men to be "strong" and that men need to act like women to make women feel "safe". All nonsense.1|10|0
- Yes. Men clothing are sold in the women's department and women clothing in the women's department. Girls exclusively play with barbies.
Sick of this gender dysphoria foolishness. You can't change gender.0|41|0You got America to thank for that. Here in the Netherlands, all of a sudden we got "gender neutral" toilets (which no one seem to use by the way). We didn't have these some years ago. I swear it seems that any far-left bullshit America can come up with is making it's way to Europe. If America shits sideways, then all of a sudden people start to shit sideways here aswel
The type of clothes a person wears or toys they play with does not determine their gender. Not everyone is a living stereotype of their sex. It's normal to have some variation.
- Anonymous14 dOnly if you want to set them up for having the greatest chance of personal success and fulfillment. If you're more interested in making some kind of political point with your kid or in using them to virtue-signal to your dipshit peers, then maybe not.0|10|0
- It's that or punish your child with a harder life than necessary because you had a point to make, rather than look after the best interest of your children.1|10|0
- When you say respectively, are you saying that they are taught they are different? because if yes then I vote yes instead of No, your q was kinda confusing.0|10|0
- Boys should be raised to be masculine, girls should be raised to be feminine. Anything else is dysfunctional.0|22|1
- I think yes, but I also think it's okay for people to be like tomboys or tomgirls if they choose to later on in life.0|10|0
- yes. for example i will raise my sons to get a career and my daughters to be homemakers and have kids
sons will go to college or w/e career sooner and daughters will go after they have kids and then they can pursue a career0|11|0 - Raise them on how they want to be not stupid traditional gender roles
This is America not fucking Russia or Saudi Arabia or Uganda3|10|6What are you talking about? You are constantly beating the drum of oppression. Now you are going to hold up America as not oppressive and fascist?
you can't raise children the way they want to be raised. they don't know how they want to be raised
- I really don't know man. I mean there are so many people that claim they're trangendered or gay or that they're a papaya or whatever is trendy now. I don't think it really matters.0|00|1
- All that non-sense about fluid sexuality, blah, blah... is destructive and by design with a sinister motive though many believers dont understand that fact.0|20|0
- I raise my daughter to act like a lady. She’s naturally athletic and likes many activities (mudding and frogging) that boys like. I just don’t want her to turn into one of those girls who can win a farting contest who nobody will take to prom.0|11|0
- Most of its ingrained subconsciously. I got a little mate, his favourite things in the world are his toy cars. He ain’t playing with barbies.0|10|0
- Yes, but not excessively. Individuality & uniqueness should still be valued and encouraged0|40|0
For example I was raised to be feminine but it's not like im a girl girly. Sometimes I like to just be comfortable and do what I feel like, even if it might seem boyish but I dont care
- Anonymous13 dWhat exactly are those concepts anyway? Why should anyone even care? Are they important for some reason?0|00|1
- I don't personally think it should be forced on them1|10|3
Not sure exactly what you mean.
Shouldn't kids embrace who/what they are and to respect the opposite sex/gender.
Shouldn't they be taught that males and females are different.I get what you're saying. But respect doesn't have to be gender based. It should be taught though. But what I mean is that we shouldn't force any gender expression on them, and we should let them express themselves however they want, and have whatever interests they want
- Yes, even though toxic femininity is a serious problem.0|10|0
- Yes. It will make them the most happy over their entire lifetime.0|20|0
- Woman and men shluld be both masiculaine and feminine
there is nothing wrong with a man crying or a woman like power tools1|10|0 - that makes problem with minority. they should be able to choose whatever they feel comfortable.0|00|0
- As long as their is BALANCE. then who gives a fck. I just wish for peace.0|10|0
- According to who's definition?
It's all fucked.1|00|0 - Anonymous15 dI feel men need it more than women do since we're expected to do more in dating1|10|0
- Women looking great in high heel shoes I love them the man should wear cowboy boots like I do0|10|0
- What Tf is masculinity and femininity lol. Live however you want to.1|00|0
- Raise them the way they are most happy.1|10|4
that's a foolish thing to say because they don't know what makes them happy until AFTER they are raised
In order for them to be happy, they have to realize, accept and love what they are and how to embrace their own masuclinity or feminity depending on if they are male or female. I'm yet to encounter a man who is genuinely happy without him embracing his masculinity. Nor a woman who is genuinely happy without having embraced her masculinity.
- Everyone needs a balance of both.0|20|0
- Yes, yes they should.0|10|0
@Jonathanlama The question is wholly conservative? He's asking if boys and girls should act according to their gender.
- Yes, I believe say they should0|20|0
- yeah... why ruin a good thing?0|10|0
- Yes, it's human nature for god's sake.0|10|0
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