I ask because i have seen this before, I had a friend who spent 6 months fighting the adoption agency because the mother signed over her rights hours after birth. He won, he has his daughter. But you hear about this kind of thing all the time.
Personally If the father is ready able and wanting to be a father, the mother absolutely should not be able to put the child up for adoption without the fathers permission. There are some states that have a fathers registry, and that some times saves them the trouble. I believe that if the mother fails to include the father in this decision she should face legal penalties.
Please keep your responses limited to the understanding that the father is not abusive, not a drug addict, there is literally nothing wrong with him, the relationship just did not work. Comments including things like "What if he was abusive" Shows you did not read the whole question and will be deleted.
Updates:
2 d
A little legal background, A father must file for paternity within 15 to 30 days of the birth (depending on the state, it does vary), Or be on the putative registry. If he has done one or both of those items, All he has to do is file for an objection to the adoption. Unless there are mitigating circumstances he stands a greater than 90% chance of winning custody of the child with the mother losing all rights to it. adoptionnetwork.com/.../adoption-consent-laws-by-state
Should a mother have the unilateral right to put a child up for adoption with out the consent of the father?
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OlderAndWiser | 5K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Influencer
1 d
In Florida, the biological father's consent must be obtained so girls who don't want to get the guy involved simply pretend they don't know which guy was the father, or they never knew his name/just met in a bar, or something like that. The father doesn't even know that the girl is pregnant, so there is nothing that prompts to fil a paternity case or sign up on the putative father's registry.
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Dragonpurple | 90 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Xper 5
2 d
Often times the reason this happens is because the mother could be on the hook for child support if she gives it to the father to raise. Many state laws allow her to sign over rights without the fathers consent for adoption but if the other parent is raising the child they won't let you just give up your rights and could be forced to pay child support.
The ironic thing is you KNOW for a fact they could hunt him down if she wanted to keep the baby to get child support, its what they do. No reason they couldn't hunt him down to see if he wants to raise the child or not and to get him to sign over rights for an adoption.
The easy solution would be to offer her the ability to sign over rights, IF he gets first dibs and decides he wants to raise the child, not before.
A few years back there was a case, where a father eventually did get his child back from the adoptive parents due to the agency being a bit on the shady side. It took him going to the state supreme court though, so you can imagine the average joe wouldn't have that kind of money to go through court for so long and would give up. https://abcnews.go.com/US/drill-sergeant-reunited-baby-mom-gave-adoption/story?id=18329713
No I do not think it should be something that is allowed. Fathers are often pushed out of a Childs life, there are a lot of dead beats so the ones that want to raise their kids should be allowed to do so. That is if we want a truly equal rights society and all.
The adoptive parents could essentially foster the child for awhile if this was a last ditch notice right before birth or if she knows all along then it could be for the duration of the pregnancy. Should be a minimum of six months notice and the same amount of effort to track him down (if his location is unknown.) Using the same tactics that are used to track men down for child support.
Either way legal things take time, no legal case is ever lightning fast, no reasons adoptions without both parents consent should be lightning fast.
Ironically all a woman has to do here is say she doesn't know who the father is, then on the birth certificate it lists father as unknown and then seems like that would be a easy way around any legally required notice. Then again I'm a fan of all new baby births to do a DNA test with the father each time, just to make sure the father is really the father. Too many men find out years later that their kid isn't theirs, divorce and still have to pay support for a child that isn't theirs.
No, and the answer should be obvious. Sadly fathers are not people in the eyes of women, society, and the law. The grand irony in all of this is that women will abort their children without the fathers consent, they will abandon their children (thanks to safe haven laws) without the fathers consent, and they will give the child up for adoption without the fathers consent. . . then immediatley turn around and call him a dead beat for not wanting to be their for his child. Its twisted and an absolute travesty yet for some reason we have allowed it for reasons that cannot be explained by anyone. I'd sue the government over it, I mean I cannot see how this isn't a violation of his parental rights.
you're absolutely right by the way. And when a man wins 50/50 custody women see it as a defeat not the man trying his best to be part of that child's life.
Oh, I'm aware of those, women have statistically far more rights then men do (yet some how keep demanding they need more. By the time they are done men will be slaves (and women will still be demanding that they are the ones who are oppressed).
And yeah, I agree, its insane. They should be fighting for equal custody not against it (which NOW bragged about).
Ellie-V | 1.1K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Guru
2 d
I think that if she signs her rights away then the child should go to the default caregiver whether it be the state or the father 🤷🏾♀️ Just depends on if the father is there or not.
It’s something for the courts to decide in each case. Only willing, capable adults should be able to keep a child, and they should be a good placement for the child. you don’t want a parent wanting custody just to abuse or sell the kid, or just get out of custody payments.
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WowwGirl | 368 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Yoda
2 d
Unless he signs a legal form to raise the child alone from birth and always the mom to sign away rights prior to birth
I should mention, If the father is unknown, In prison, is known to be abusive, and the like, you are very much right both morally and legally. If on the other hand the father is supportive and is available legally you're wrong In most states.
Would men get the same option if they don't want to be part of a child's life? You know a form to give up rights to avoid any child support? Seems only fair if a man who wants to raise a child needs to get a form from the mother to sign over rights to raise it himself, that she should also get a form signed from him (if the situation was reversed) that she was going to raise it herself.
Regardless of legal or not, there is tricks around it. Cruddy adoption agencies not their job right, no one really trying to track the father down or the best one is mothers stating they did it with a dozen or so guys at a party and not sure who they are or who is the father... yeah I have a relative that did that. That way she could avoid having to do any visitation and could raise the kids themselves and the man doesn't even know they have a child as she ended it with him before she showed and never seen him again since.
Leavesbound | 144 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Xper 5
16 h
Absolutely not. both parents should have equal rights when it comes to their children that is only changeable through a court order.
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pleasestopthis | 319 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Guru
2 d
No, both should sign. The father should have the right and the chance to raise the kid if he wants to.
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Coulis | 78 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Xper 6
16 h
Noooo what the heck this happened? Assuming the father didn't give up his rights.
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SuccessfulHornDog | 7.1K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Master
2 d
No, that seems very wrong to do. The father should be given first priority unless he is proven incompetent
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Dchrls78104 | 2K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Guru
1 d
Immoral to start with, wrong on every level.
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Abtraction | 104 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
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What Girls & Guys Said
58The ironic thing is you KNOW for a fact they could hunt him down if she wanted to keep the baby to get child support, its what they do. No reason they couldn't hunt him down to see if he wants to raise the child or not and to get him to sign over rights for an adoption.
The easy solution would be to offer her the ability to sign over rights, IF he gets first dibs and decides he wants to raise the child, not before.
A few years back there was a case, where a father eventually did get his child back from the adoptive parents due to the agency being a bit on the shady side. It took him going to the state supreme court though, so you can imagine the average joe wouldn't have that kind of money to go through court for so long and would give up. https://abcnews.go.com/US/drill-sergeant-reunited-baby-mom-gave-adoption/story?id=18329713
No I do not think it should be something that is allowed. Fathers are often pushed out of a Childs life, there are a lot of dead beats so the ones that want to raise their kids should be allowed to do so. That is if we want a truly equal rights society and all.
The adoptive parents could essentially foster the child for awhile if this was a last ditch notice right before birth or if she knows all along then it could be for the duration of the pregnancy. Should be a minimum of six months notice and the same amount of effort to track him down (if his location is unknown.) Using the same tactics that are used to track men down for child support.
Either way legal things take time, no legal case is ever lightning fast, no reasons adoptions without both parents consent should be lightning fast.
Ironically all a woman has to do here is say she doesn't know who the father is, then on the birth certificate it lists father as unknown and then seems like that would be a easy way around any legally required notice. Then again I'm a fan of all new baby births to do a DNA test with the father each time, just to make sure the father is really the father. Too many men find out years later that their kid isn't theirs, divorce and still have to pay support for a child that isn't theirs.
You should check this out. 5 Legal Rights Women Have That Men Don’t ↗
you're absolutely right by the way. And when a man wins 50/50 custody women see it as a defeat not the man trying his best to be part of that child's life.
Oh, I'm aware of those, women have statistically far more rights then men do (yet some how keep demanding they need more. By the time they are done men will be slaves (and women will still be demanding that they are the ones who are oppressed).
And yeah, I agree, its insane. They should be fighting for equal custody not against it (which NOW bragged about).
I agree. I mean if he is not present then his loss, but if he is present, ready willing.. definitely give the kid to the dad.
do you think she should at least inform the father?
I should mention, If the father is unknown, In prison, is known to be abusive, and the like, you are very much right both morally and legally. If on the other hand the father is supportive and is available legally you're wrong In most states.
www.findlaw.com/.../...d-fathers-and-adoption.html
Would men get the same option if they don't want to be part of a child's life? You know a form to give up rights to avoid any child support? Seems only fair if a man who wants to raise a child needs to get a form from the mother to sign over rights to raise it himself, that she should also get a form signed from him (if the situation was reversed) that she was going to raise it herself.
Regardless of legal or not, there is tricks around it. Cruddy adoption agencies not their job right, no one really trying to track the father down or the best one is mothers stating they did it with a dozen or so guys at a party and not sure who they are or who is the father... yeah I have a relative that did that. That way she could avoid having to do any visitation and could raise the kids themselves and the man doesn't even know they have a child as she ended it with him before she showed and never seen him again since.
By that, I meant I’m on board with you