What will hurt him more if I cut him out or show him I've moved on, I'm heartbroken and want to get him back

well I've been with a guy in a messy relationship for a long time he has done some nasty things to me but like manipulitive men he destroyed my confidence so I took him back thinking I couldn't do better and was so in love (stupidly I know).

ive since moved away and he has broke my heart for the last time, made me feel inferior to other women for the last time,im still really hurt but I am moving on. Now I know I shouldn't want pay back and forgiveness is the best remedy yada yada yada, but this guy literally has done some evil things to me and what would be the best pay back, to completely delete him from my life, number Facebook etc? or to keep in contact but at arms length and show him I've moved on hot guys, new job etc...thanks guys


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's still mercilessly controlling you, even post break-up. Only this time, its your own choice.

    I'm sure you've heard the phrase "living well is the best revenge." There is a lot of truth to that. Only you shouldn't move on to make him jealous; you should move on for the sake of your own happiness. Men can tell the difference between showing off/ignoring for desperation's sake, and just plain indifference because the girl really has moved on for her own benefit.

    • i know this but I do really intend on moving on, but as a final payback what would be better show my happiness or delete him from my life. from a guys perspective what would bother you most?

    • Neither, I'd be expecting one or the other. But like I mentioned before, if you showed complete genuine indifference to me, I'd be confused, and probably curious. Don't purposely see him or put yourself in a position to see him. But if you do happen to bump into him, be nice, but keep it very brief, and don't say anything negative. But most importantly of all, don't invite any future contact. He'll wonder why you were nice, but didn't pursue anything.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Both AltTech and luday have given you very good advice...and if you that still hasn't taken hold...remember what Don Corleone said in the Godfather..."revenge is a dish that is best served cold" This dovetails with AltTech's "living well is the best revenge" When your life goes great he will see what he missed out on...there is NO other better method of revenge...do not waste anymore time or energy on him...

    • yes I understand this but if I cut him out he wouldn't know whether I'd moved on, I've moved 2 hours away no mutual friends around here, so do you think keep him on fb but hide all his posts and stuff and carry on as if he never existed and if in future he happens to see things that show I've moved on so be it ..

What Girls Said 1

  • I would delete him from your life. Be happy and true to you! Don't talk to him or contact him in any way. Ignore him if you see him. Take your time and enjoy your life, if you meet someone new then enjoy that or if you are single then enjoy that. Sometimes it is better just to let life move on and things will happen. Above all don't get depressed. If you get scared then talk to someone about this guy!

    Good luck!

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