Boyfriend wants to take things slow, what does that mean? GUYS HELP!

Question

ive been dating my boyfriend almost 2 years. we broke up for 3 months. but dated casually during that time. we got back together officially a few weeks ago, cause I gave him an ultimatium either we become official or I walk.

after we got back together he said he wants to take things slow.?

we see each other 1 - 2 times a week.

we have sex

he doesn't want to put our fb status as in a relationship together like before because he says we are on trial and doesn't want to make either of us look like an idiot if it doesn't work out.

i have tagged him at places with me out recently one he kept up on his wall. he delted the other one tho. I don't think he is seeing anyone else. he is very focuse on career and works lots of hours in a week. he has become a little more caring since.

what do you think is going on?

Answer 1

fascination_streak

Xper 5

You didn't say why you broke up in the first place. I don't know if the reasoning for that is relevant in this case. Anyhow, the breakup really hurt him as it would anyone. I think in his mind he wants to be absolutely sure that a reconciliation will work the second time. He might be afraid to open himself up again, try to make it work only to have it fail. A trail period as he indicated is obviously what he needs in order to feel more secure to move forward. I don't think you can fault him for that. I think you need to respect it and do your best to make it work as well. I'm sure you guys will be official again.

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jolee1

+1 y
we are official again, but it just doesn't say that on fb. he broke up with me we used to work together I left about 5 months ago. he becmae too focused on work his hours went up . he was showing less interest in me and I was getting jealous and inseucre. and asking who is that girl on fb you added who are you talking too I was scared and he hated it. we were arguing heaps and one day out the blue he goes I'm done. next day he texts me to say lets work on it. then he changed his mind a few days later
fascination_streak

+1 y
The FB status will come. For now, I recommend you stay the course.
seemens

+1 y
He told you that because he really care and wants this relationship to work for good, I know you maybe just to basically pick up where you left off before you guys broke up being all lovey dovey, take it slow but interesting at the same time. Things will build back up. Just have faith and keep working on your relationship. Hala at me if things is working out ... cause I love hearing people working on the not so good stuff instead of just quitting.

Answer 2

jolee1

we are official again, but it just doesn't say that on fb. he broke up with me we used to work together I left about 5 months ago. he becmae too focused on work his hours went up . he was showing less interest in me and I was getting jealous and inseucre. and asking who is that girl on fb you added who are you talking too I was scared and he hated it. we were arguing heaps and one day out the blue he goes I'm done. next day he texts me to say lets work on it. then he changed his mind a few days later

Answer 3

fascination_streak

The FB status will come. For now, I recommend you stay the course.

Answer 4

seemens

He told you that because he really care and wants this relationship to work for good, I know you maybe just to basically pick up where you left off before you guys broke up being all lovey dovey, take it slow but interesting at the same time. Things will build back up. Just have faith and keep working on your relationship. Hala at me if things is working out ... cause I love hearing people working on the not so good stuff instead of just quitting.

Answer 5

moloz | 232 opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.

Explorer

I agree with Habakkuk's answer and I also want to add that his career may be of great importance to him, so much that relationship issues aren't really wanted at the moment.

You can't force him in a relationship, if he doesn't want to it won't happen. If you don't do anything else other than sex in those 1-2 times a week, I have a hunch it's going in the wrong direction, at least for you.

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jolee1

+1 y
we also will go out for drinks go to the movies. go out for breakfast watch movies or cook together?
moloz

+1 y
Then I guess it resumes to whether or not you're happy this way, it's likely it won't advance or regress.

You already gave him an ultimatum. At this point, you have to realize you accepted that it will go slowly.
jolee1

+1 y
do you think I need to be patient and give him space for a while and let it unfold naturally or should I try to be pushy. or sohuld I stop sex?
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moloz

+1 y
As I said, you already gave him an ultimatum and you agreed to his terms.
jolee1

+1 y
i meant tho in time if it is working he should stop taking it slow. and he wil fall in love again? or do you honestly think its a lost cause. I think I mean a lot to him. he has been in 2 relaitonship before he was cheated on . both relationship ended on a clean slate they did not drag it out or get back together like we are doing

Answer 6

jolee1

we also will go out for drinks go to the movies. go out for breakfast watch movies or cook together?

Answer 7

moloz

Then I guess it resumes to whether or not you're happy this way, it's likely it won't advance or regress.

You already gave him an ultimatum. At this point, you have to realize you accepted that it will go slowly.

Answer 8

jolee1

do you think I need to be patient and give him space for a while and let it unfold naturally or should I try to be pushy. or sohuld I stop sex?

Answer 9

moloz

As I said, you already gave him an ultimatum and you agreed to his terms.

Answer 10

jolee1

i meant tho in time if it is working he should stop taking it slow. and he wil fall in love again? or do you honestly think its a lost cause. I think I mean a lot to him. he has been in 2 relaitonship before he was cheated on . both relationship ended on a clean slate they did not drag it out or get back together like we are doing

Answer 11

Quadrophonic84

Xper 2

he has other priorities in his life besides dating and he probably doesn't want to send you any signals so he's just moving slowly. it means he doesn't want you to get crazy or, more likely, act in some way that caused the 3 month break up. He's being cautious.

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jolee1

+1 y
do you think that in time if things are easy no arguments and just fun. that he will turn around and be for it again?
Quadrophonic84

+1 y
maybe, I don't know him

Answer 12

jolee1

do you think that in time if things are easy no arguments and just fun. that he will turn around and be for it again?

Answer 13

Quadrophonic84

maybe, I don't know him

Answer 14

Habakkuk

Xper 4

he doesn't seem like he really wants to be with you but he doesn't want to lost you either

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1 Person

jolee1

+1 y
he says he still really likes me a hell of a lot and doesn't want to loose me. he just wants it to work?

Answer 15

jolee1

he says he still really likes me a hell of a lot and doesn't want to loose me. he just wants it to work?

Boyfriend wants to take things slow, what does that mean? GUYS HELP!

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