I don't know how to feel about this.

My mother had always warned me to act a certain way to avoid uneccesary complications regarding relationships..that if I had acted a certain way than I would be a lot happier in my life. and it's hard to tell her that she may be right. At the same time I could give two sh*ts about what she thinks because she never told me straight up what might happen to me..she took me to go see some slob of a person who was in her 60's instead. as if I was to gain some kind of understanding from watching some old maid in her house. Maybe she aknowldeged her as a problem because she grew up watching this woman go through hardships and knew she did not want the same life so she carefully took to herself to make sure that that did not happen to her. All that I ever learned from watching that old woman was that she was still alive and healthy, the only thing different was that she lived alone. How the hell am I to know wether or not it might be better in the end to just be alone anyways. lonely yes but at least I won't have anyone bickering with me, or at least I won't have to strategically set my life up to accomidate numerous people. There are up's and downs in every cercumstance. maybe my mother was wrong for judging that poor woman, maybe instead of treating that woman like she were a bug that needed to be stompped out she could have treated her like a human being and than maybe that person could actually know and feel in her heart like she actually had a friend instead of an admirer.(who wasn't really admiring her but just being a neusance)
Updates:
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the bible says honor your mother and father but what if my mother is wrong to begin with. should I honor her for that?
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i read a lot of posts by people who are desperate for love out of fear that they will end up being alone:perhaps she was giving an example by bringing that person into my life that it would be okay for me to be alone but for her she was a lot happier not being alone. I wish she would have set that example by actually being happy in her relationship with my father rather than show me that it works both ways.
+1 y
i've also noticed that people who actually try to be impressive for their lover's have happier marriages than say people who settle for what's in front of them because they are afraid of being hurt. I'd love to get a dozen roses and be laden with jewelry and paraded around for being someones lover. of course I can't tell that to someone who I've settled for because that's what's in front of me because that's like cheating the system.
I don't know how to feel about this.
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