BF is busy or just don't care?

I just recently got into a relationship, but I'm starting to wonder what I really am for this guy.

I met him through a mutual friend and he added me on Facebook. He spent three weeks bothering me several times a day to go out with him, to meet up with him, to go for coffee, anything really. At first I found him incredibly annoying, but I gave in at last. So... the thing is, I kinda fell for him.

After a week or two of going out and hanging out he urged me to change my Facebook status to be "in a relationship" with him. I did, because I felt like it would be OK. But one week later he suddenly wanted it to be private.

He tells me every time I see him that he loves me, but he won't call us bf/gf. Still he wants the relationship to be exclusive. He used to text me all the time and talk to me while he was working and stuff. But now he just seems to not care at all. He doesn't even care to say good morning back if I text him good morning sometimes. I know he's busy with his business and such, but I feel sidetracked and confused and I continuously demand clarity and information.

He says that he's not ready to be "official" yet, but he was the one who wanted to in the first place?

Why does he keep telling me he loves me, when I'm obviously not a priority?

And why do I have to be exclusively his when I'm not even his gf? (anymore?)

So, half the time I'm the most important thing in the world, and half the time I don't even exist?

What the hell does my "BF" want from me?!

I'm sorry if this is hard to read, I'm a bit emotional and just letting it all out here.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to talk to him in person. Be clear, if you want an exclusive relationship with me, that means boyfriend and girlfriend, not some status stuck somewhere in between. Tell him, if he's too busy to communicate as much as you do in return, or that he doesn't think he has time to make it official, that you're not going to fault him, but that you can't be in a relationship like that, as it doesn't feel that both parties are giving it their all. Be prepared to walk away. If he doesn't agree to call it boyfriend and girlfriend, and put more effort into the communication, just tell him no hard feelings, I liked you at one point, but I honestly can't have a halfway relationship. It is time for me to move on. Then stop contacting him and find a new guy.

    • Isn't that a bit harsh?

    • Show All
    • I guess you're right...

    • To sumarize:

      1. Ask him if he doesn't like the idea of relationships, or if he thinks that it is a time commitment issue.

      2. If he's not crazy about relationships, just run, now.

      3. If it is an issue of time, work on making your schedules compatible. That must coincide with him being open with his communication and also going along with boyfriend/girlfriend status.

      4. Anything less than what I said in number 3 will leave you feeling unhappy. Don't demand, but state your concerns CLEARLY.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Did you have sex yet?

    • What kind of question is that? Of course we did!

    • Show All
    • He has plenty to chase. I promise.

    • He doesn't see you as relationship material anymore, you gave it up too soon and too easily. Give yourself a 6 month rule or something next time. Make the guy work and wait.