Me Too... For Now

Me Too...For Now

So many women and men have been posting to their social media, "Me too," to announce that they have been the victims of sexual harassment or worse in response to Harvey Weinstein's being exposed for sexually harassing and potentially raping several women throughout his career. In recent years there has been an ever increasing push for women AND men to start speaking out against things like sexual harassment and abuse which are largely kept silent by a society who often shames the victims; some even in the face of overwhelming evidence in their favor like witnesses, DNA, and or video. This should not be a case of something we lock away and allow to keep happening because society has not learned to protect it's most vulnerable, because we forget that that next victim could be one's mother, or little brother, or wife, nephew, or daughter, or even themselves because these things can and do happen to anyone.

As much as I applaud these women and men for getting up the courage to post such things, what happens tomorrow when the social media blitz ends? What happens when or if Harvey is jailed, and there are still thousands of victims who still remain out there in less public cases and with far less protection via their money, their fame, or their prestige to come forward?

We've seen many of these same social media blitzes where something happens---a Vegas Shooting, a Paris terrorist attack, Ice Bucket Challenge, Kony 2012, and on an on where people are fired up about it for a few weeks and then fall totally silent in their want for change, in their want to do anything politically about it, or their want to expose injustice in their worlds up until something big happens again, and we talk about it for another 15 minutes before we forget and pack up our bags and move on.

The only time I've seen real action in accordance to these social media campaigns is when it comes to fundraising. When all people have to do is click a few buttons to donate a few bucks, they are willing to do that because that's the easy part. That's the part they can quickly and easily feel good about themselves for doing and they feel like they've solved something. ALS alone with the Ice Bucket Challenge received millions of dollars---though if you ask those that donated today what ALS actually is, or why they donated, or if they've donated or helped in any way since, you'll hear the sounds of crickets chirping. And trust, I'm not knocking the success of fundraising, because those things do help, but that drive to want to help, doesn't seem to ever have any lasting effects on the majority of people.

As we stand today, our very own president of the United States is being sued for sexual harassment. He's been caught on tape, several women have spoken out about this among a whole host of things, and yet he is still the president. The same went for Bill Clinton and many presidents before him. Imagine the message that sends and why we continue to live in a world that requires more than just a couple bucks on a Tuesday to effect change. None of us can solve all the worlds problems, but show up, really show up and DO SOMETHING to effect change in your world other than just tweeting about how wrong things are around you. Use your vote, sign real petitions that go to lawmakers, fight to change the laws to protect our must vulnerable or else, you and I will still be hear tomorrow posting pictures and posting messages that only serve to die off in the wind.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Me too. I can tell you women can be just as bad as men when it comes to sexual harrassment, sexual assault, domestic violence and rape but men are discouraged from reporting it by soceity and mocked for it, women also do not get the same punishment under the law for such crimes.

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    • I have mentioned the fact that men have posted the phrase as well and that we need to fight for laws to help everyone.

    • The laws are there they just aren't enforced when it comes to women the way it is with men. Soceity is sexist against men.

    • Society is simply put... sexist. Not against men, not against women, it is sexist, period. The whole point of this take is that people aren't fighting to do much about it on either end, at least not in the long term, and these are long term battles. I could ask you just as much as you could ask me, how much have you done to enforce or fight for stronger laws to protect people... men AND women... against such abuses. This is a question that needs to be asked to everyone who makes the same complaint about the systems being broken. Okay, so what are we doing about it other than complain because that isn't doing anything, clearly. We need more than just a five minute social media blitz where people purport to care about such things to actually see change, but few want to fight long term fight, so they just say, there is a problem and point to everyone else to try and say "someone else" needs to do something about it, but lets keep blaming society. You and I are both part of that society.

Most Helpful Girl

  • People are garbage and you are right about your Take but what are you gonna do? I can tell you I have helped plenty victims of not just sexual crimes but others, particularly women and they turn around and stab me int he back, sometimes they lie.

    Wanna know what me too and no one has ever come to me rescue, I have lost many jobs and even women turn on me and call me a liar, then throw themselves at the boss who harasses me, when they were initially not even being assaulted. So what are you gonna do?

    Humans are just trash, okay go get a dog or something.

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    • "Some" humans are trash. I was the boss once upon a time, and I dealt with an issue of 2 male employees allegedly harassing female staff. Most were too scared to come forward to the point where I started to almost believe it wasn't happening. I wasn't going to accuse or fire anyone without some form of proof. But eventually 2 women did come forward with the startling proof, some of it even caught on camera, and I did fire the two guys who did it. You don't always get a win, but what's worse is just saying f-it, I'm not going to give a crap about anyone because I think no one cares or will help me, because who does THAT actually help? If I hadn't kept asking questions, these guys could have still been allowed to do what they did unchecked. You do what you can, where you can, and you try to effect change. You can't win all, but you can help.

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 35

  • It's always talked about, but it is still present and never solved. But then again, it's easier to talk about than to solve and things sometimes get convoluted or situations can get confusing, as in, what exactly happened or if someone is telling the whole truth or at what one person considers harassment, another person might take it as a joke depending on circumstance.

    But like you said, if there were more people to actually come forward and speak up about their incidents and right away, if we weren't so afraid of possible consequences or have more support about speaking up, perhaps it will start to let the would be predators to second guess their safety or people in general to second guess what action should they do or can they do.

    But then again, this is already a case and some are getting persecuted for little, which ruins lives as well. So it's something that can't really be solvable by law, it would be something that society has to evolve into, to be more respectful and civilized to one another.

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  • This hashtag - to me - seemed pointless because I assume it's so close to 100% of men and women.

    "Have you -ever- been sexually harassed' is such a huge bucket that it doesn't tell us that much.

    The 'scale of the problem' isn't explained by it. What most men don't have a good handle on is -how often - and -where-. Yes, we know you've been groped before, so have we. But have you been groped at every workplace you've had? Have -most- of your employers had a manger try to pressure you for sex? That's the kind of thing that's more eye opening to men. MeToo is just too big a bucket.

    There's also a desire to combine rape, sexual harassment and sexism as one continuum that must be solved together. I don't personally believe the evidence supports this view of the world, and see it as popular only because those who want to shift cultural roles use rape (which is taken -very- seriously) for leverage. Some countries (and a few specific demographics) may have a 'rape culture', but most of the west does not. What it does have is 1-3% of males being sociopaths. We know something like 1 in 50 to 1 in 30 men admit to forcing women to have sex. We know those men say they've done so 5-10 times in their life. Rape is common not because all or even a large minority of men are rapists, but because a small minority continue to get away with it. And I strongly believe a lot of what some activists push is counterproductive.

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  • When I was younger, I always had this "Knight in Shining White Armor" fantasy where I could have helped some poor damsel who was being preyed upon by some monstrous creature of a man. I think my intentions were good, but I realized how childishly ignorant that was.

    Sexual assault isn't just some catastrophic moment, it's an almost unnoticeable act of violence. Its victims aren't images of purity and innocence, but simply people who have had their voice and will stripped from them, some momentarily, others for a long time. It's not some monster of a person carrying it out either: while their act is terrible, they are simply people who lack respect for others and who cannot control their urges.

    The sad truth is that anyone can be a rapist, and anyone can be raped.

    We who wish to bring an end to sexual violence must realize that stopping the act doesn't end the problem: rape is a cultural problem, a problem that stems from a society that propagates both unhealthy standards of sexual prowess and a complete disregard for others. The solutions are infinitely complex and will require tweaking and fine-tuning as time goes on. But we must begin that process today, so that none may suffer from this again.

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  • Trump has not been caught on tape sexually harassing anyone. As for sexual harassment, words are not harassment, if their is touching or black mail involved then that is sexual harassment. The only time some one is shamed for speaking out is when its men. We have had multiple rape cases where women have made false accusations (both in that they where provably wrong or that they themselves admitted to be a lie) where the public (and media) still sided with them. So no, we do not shame people from coming forward, its only recently that so many have started to doubt claims made because of all the lies and generally trusting nature that the public has towards female accusers (none of this exists when its men, they are told to suck it up or be happy which is why men never come forward because no woman has as of yet to my knowledge, ever been punished for sexual harassment. hell we hardly punish women who rape children.) Most claims are not true, some are. Again, if a man hits on a woman suddenly its sexual harassment, no. That's not sexual harassment, inappropriate touching, blackmail and threats of a sexual kind, that's sexual harassment. Most women conflate the two and that's just not what sexual harassment is. Now should people come forward? Sure, preferably at a time that isn't politically, or financially convient. Maybe around the time it happens, especially since, again, women are not punished or shamed for calling a man out (doubting something is not the same as punishing and shaming). We would also have to create fairer laws that where not sexist in order for men to come forward as again, they have no ware they can actually report these crimes and be taken seriously (I know men who have had women grope their crotch and even reach down their pants, women are not the victims, in fact they are as likely to be perpetrators of it as they are victims of it). As for laws, we have those, unfortunately (or rather very fortunately) we need evidence to prove that these things happened, that way we don't have vindictive women (because again, no one believes men) using our trusting nature to hurt men who did her no wrong (as happens, according to statistics about 40% of the time (that we can prove)). This is coming from by the way a person who has actually been sexually molested and raped, so I don't want to hear any comments suggesting that some how my opinion would be different if it happened to me, because it has happened to me.

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  • My Dad put this really well to a woman who was concerned about her daughter, when discussing the topic of how to handle sexual assault claims/harassment.

    Dad: "You're lucky that you only have a daughter to be concerned about. It's so easy to say what should be done for the sake of your daughter alone. But I have a daughter and a son. I don't want my daughter to get raped. And I don't want my son to be thrown in prison or have his reputation and life ruined all based on the lie of some woman".

    The problem when seeking to change laws for emotional reasons alone on topics such as this is that you screw over an entire subset of the population because you were focused on making a change for another group, without concern for the others wellbeing. I'm not saying nothing should be changed. But what specifically are you calling for lawmakers to change that will solve the issue, without making it easy for women to just lie about sexual harassment and men wrongly getting punished for it.

    Because I'm someone who's actually lost a job over a false sexual harassment allegation. This is a very real concern for me. The only reason I didn't take her to court for it is lack of financial resources for a lawyer.

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  • That cartoon is chillingly accurate. Of course, I've found that oftentimes, especially in college settings, when you actually do get up and do something, you're the one the police are curious about first.

    And only after you're in the clear, do they do anything about the actual troublemaker. By then, the actual troublemaker has had time to start erasing evidence.

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  • Except that all that nonsense with the Trump accusations were actually proven to be false. And he publicly stated he regretted what he said in the video. So what's done is done.

    And if you don't want to be sexually harassed then learn how to defend yourself, buy a gun, a taser, learn how to fight. In short 8 times out of 10 if you are sexually harassed or raped there will be no one around to help you. That's kind of the point as you wouldn't do that in the open.

    Secondly you can't have consensual sex then turn around and claim it's sexual assault or worse rape that's really messed up and is not actually assault or rape and is not only insulting but very disrespectful to actual real victims.

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    • "... proven to be false."

      Seriously? All of them? Thrown out or found innocent by US courts of law? Wow! You're a gullible moron.

    • @CactusJuice all of the accusations during the "election" were proven to be false the women were paid money by the opposition to play the part of victims. Their accusations were publicly proven false. In fact if I recall it was done on live Television.

      Happy? Great now fuck off I'm trying to enjoy my weekend not deal with cunts on the internet.

  • Is there anyone out there that hasn't been a victim of sexual harassment? Like seriously, who hasn't had their butt slapped without consent? Or their junk grabbed, or touched inappropriately anywhere else on their body without giving consent?
    Sexual harassment isn't right, but this "me too" thing is pointless not just because it does nothing to solve the problem, but because it's like "ummm yeah, I know, just like 99% of the people".

    In the end, this is just like every other hashtag and social media bs that people do when something bad happens, just so the world knows that they care or that they're victims too. We live in a society that loves the attention and being victims. We love to think that we're "oh so good" because we care, but in reality, most of us don't give a flying fuck, because we don't do a flying fuck. All we do is post a stupid picture or a hashtag on social media, and that's it.

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  • I don't know what to say little one. We are in a strange era. I think you are right in terms of what will happen. I think people will just forget and go back to doing what they always have. Ironically, the only people who can change this culture are women. As you can see from the posts, most men are happy to keep things just as they are. We need to change as a society. Of course, it will not be easy. Nor can it happen quickly. I guess there are men who think they have been falsely accused or they feel there is some limitation being put on their freedoms.

    I don't know how we can have an open and honest discussion about this. It is like discussing race. There is just too much hurt, pain, and emotion for people to think rationally.

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    • I think we should just start out by agreeing that verbal approach is NOT sexual harassment, in any matter. Just no. And from there, I wouldn't even dare thinking of touching a female inappropriately.

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    • @RolandCuthbert then that's what the law in your country says, but not in mine.

    • @scooogy Well, maybe it is cool in Eastern Europe or some nations in Africa/Asia.

  • I had always believed that I should rather try to understand female perpetrators for sexually harassing or even abusing little/teenage boys. Or those females who abuse males in their own age range. Yet, males would have their reasons as well. This can never be a one-way-argumentation.

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  • The reality is that change is happening, just slower than any of us would like. The "me too" campaign has had various forms for decades, off the internet as well. Things have obviously changed since the 1950's. Do all you can, keep the awareness up, that's all we can really do.

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  • while rape is shitty and wrong af , when i hear about celeb rapes i just shrug it off and move on... we all know how all these women go to fame, it wasn't through hard work on stage it was a different of "STAGE" if you know what i mean, and after years they use it to their advantage to convince the world that they are innocent little smurfs and never did anything wrong to get famous.

    if you want to protect real victims then these are not the real ones , even till know 90% of women who make it into the entertaiment industry end up sleeping with someone to boost their career, just watch videos of male models and how they are used like sex toys if they wanna get further in their career.

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    • If you sleep with someone consensually as an adult, that is of course, on you, but we're talking about rape, harassment, and abuse--things victims, no matter if they are actors/actresses or the guy or girl next door, don't ask for and should not just be shrugged off with such a cavalier attitude. A celeb being raped... is still rape and rape is NEVER consensual. Someone is forcing themselves on to you.

    • I'm still probably gonna say rape is rape bud, regardless of "celebrity" status.

  • I can definitely see your point but if we are closer to the perceived ideal than we were yesterday then it is a good deed - I may be wrong but I am struggling to think of any major social change that happened overnight but is more often caused by a thousand dints in the wall until a breakthrough rather than a one time breaking of the wall. All these things may appear inconsequential but as long as they leave a dint in the wall, one day it will break.

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    • There’s lots of bad shit happening in the world but every person has their own pile of it to deal with. We can’t go around worrying about others 24/7. That’s why after the initial outburst it all dies down... because like it or not, it’s not happening to the VAST majority of men and women.

  • I must say that we can not believe these women just because they say that they have been raped. They may just be attention seekers trying to become famous or trying to scam money out of a good man. Just because a girl says she was raped, a guy gets sent to prison for 20+ years. If it is proven that a girl rapes a guy, she usually gets off and in the very rare cases that she is sentenced to anything, it's no longer than 2 years. How's that for inequality?

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  • I despise these fake, hashtag social movements.

    Go outside and protest if it's that important.

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  • Not me too, but I was molested by my dad as a kid, don't know if that ties into the trend or not

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    • I wish it would, also for my own sake.

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    • @itwasmelaniasfault I've had it myself, in multiple cases by multiple girls. Verbally and physically.

    • @scooogy I am sorry, I know girls can be bad. Some think that all men whores so they can do what they like, and perhaps the guys who so it feel the same

  • Just because women are saying they got raped doesn't mean anything. Running to the media doesn't prove anything. Going to the police and using the justice system means something. Did he rape the women? I don't know. Like the Billy Cosby case women were willing to have sex for drugs or money.

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  • SJW have this behavior.

    Days ago i said women post very revolted with Hollywood harassement, and the next day would forget. I was right, because everyone need's to post the nest Hashtag and tell how they care so much. lol

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • well we have the means meaning actresses models etc to go on various social media and tell it... sexual abuse is everlasting sure you shrug it off but it weighs on you... odds are plenty of girls have been abused in some form or another... and if your a man saying so what think of your daughter being abused in that way it would hurt i'm sure... so why not fix an ill of society if possible... why should a girl have to give a blowjob to get a part in a movie or get a job maybe not always in that extent but it's always on the table isn't it?

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  • A large portion of #metoo is point out the massive amount of people who have had these experiences. That those who are victims could be ANYONE not just a slutty drunk college girl. That men, women, rich, poor, outgoing, shy, young, older and whoever else can end up in such a horrible situation. That this issue is more than "what were you wearing " "were you drinking?"

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    • Trust, I understand that part of the issue, but I can point to a drunk driver who has just run over a pedestrian and say, drunk driving is bad and it's victims can be anyone---but if there is no follow up, no harsher punishments for bartenders serving to clearly inebriated people, or shop owners not checking ID, or friends giving the keys to someone clearly drunk... what have any of us done---what are any of us doing now about me too other then just saying what we women and men know, and that this was and is happening?

    • You can hardly take much action when a stigma exists. One step at a time

  • They spoke about it but have been heavily advised by lawyers not to pursue the suing. If they do? Death threats. Mysterious deaths or disappearances to lawyers and journalists or make them look they were crazy , drug addicts or committing suicide. Harvey is very well connected and funded for Hilary's foundation called the clinton foundation. ( just another legal foundation set up for money laundry , i'd bet.)

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  • To agonize, organize.

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  • "As we stand today, our very own president of the United States is being sued for sexual harassment. He's been caught on tape, several women have spoken out about this among a whole host of things, and yet he is still the president. The same went for Bill Clinton and many presidents before him."

    You said.

    Yet the correct version should be:

    He's been caught on tape, yet he was still elected by very own women, and men alike.

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  • wow, the picture is so relateable. Like someone could be abusing another person in the streets and people whip out there phones and are just like "oh my goodness, someone else do something"

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    • Because such a situation wouldn't just be degrading but life threatening.

    • I'm not sure about this particular picture source, but I know there was a real case where a woman was stabbed to death outside of a busy apartment complex where most of the tenants were home and could see it happening in plain view. When the police later said, why did no one help or call 9-1-1, most said the same thing... we thought someone else did it, so we didn't call or we thought someone else was helping. That story impacted me hard. I'm a total see something, say something person now. I've called 9-1-1 three times in my life to report crimes, and all my neighbors watch out for each other and report stuff happening in the neighborhood. If not us, then who really?

    • WHOAAH, that is SO not cool. I would have called the ambulance and than I would have like started yelling at the top of my lungs so maybe someone who actually had a chance could help her. Maybe I'd throw something.

  • It's been common since judy garland n shirley temple's time. Only these fucks kept it so hidden. This sick culture needs to die.

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  • Camon it ia hollywood they are elites puppets to avoid our attention from the important things.

    And camon for example "JLaw" that superoverrated and hypocrital chick now has joined to the protest telling her experiences when in one o her spech thanked to Wenstein.

    Hollywood is a shit covered on glitter my friends

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  • we can do better if we really want to...

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  • Good take! Important really much! Like it

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  • i never understood the "me too" trend until now.

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  • Great take. Thanks.

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  • great

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  • Its the least of my concerns. I got sexually harassed by some men but it it happens once in blue moon although I am young and not bad looking. But the ones that were really bothering me regularly and harra ssing me were women. We need to talk more about that. More than oh that guy raped those women. Why not oh those women are bullying and harassing other women

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    • Yes and i never ended up leaving a job because of men harassing me but by women harassing me and being bitchy and yeah it was very destructive

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    • Oh bitch please, I am not even allowed to point out mean girls without one of you calling me out for speaking about you being mean.

    • Yep another bitch being bitchy again for being faced with the truth that men aren't the problem anymore really not surprised, I guess my words hit too close to home

  • The picture depicts a very sad reality

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  • Me too

    I was harrasssed at work by a superior and I was too afraid to say anything because I needed the job and paycheck.

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