How does it glamorise sexual assault? In what way? By having a discussion?
@Blonde401 It glamorizes sexual assault, because you're asking people to relive it. I know that for me, sharing every little detail about my assault is traumatizing and detromentive. While I was going to treatment for my trauma, the rule always was "no war stories" which means not going into extreme detail about things that have happened to us. At first I thought that was dumb, but over time I saw why the rule existed. If you think about when you tell someone that something major has happened, isn't it overwhelming when he or she comes at you with a million questions or a bunch of meaningless "support words" (I'm here for you, you can always talk to me, it'll be ok, everything will work out)? That's exactly why I disagree with focusing on the details of a person's assualt, it doesn't do anything but hurt them. I totally support having a discussion, but it needs to focus on the next steps after the trauma, not on everything that happened.
Not everyone relives it. And you should acknowledge things that happened. If you ignore the past you can't help your future. Nobody asked you to share the details of your assault? What an absurd way to view it. And yes, I've been assaulted myself.
So you're saying that you have no trauma or bad memories about your assualt? I'm not saying that everyone should break down into tears and really believe that its happening again when they share their story, but it shouldn't be a comfortable thing to do or something that someone is happy to discuss. If someone is completely comfortable and happy spilling every detail of his or her assualt, then I question the authenticity of the assualt. I know that will probably get some backlash as well, but that's my honest opinion. By not sharing details or information about the assualt, does not mean you don't acknowledge it, you always know those details in your head. Making every problem you have public on social media, does not mean you acknowledge it more than any other survivor. It's not an "absurd view", it's realistic. I'm not ashamed of being a survivor of sexual assualt, but I will never give my attackers infamy for what they have done to me.
Where did I say that? Quote me where I said that because I didn't. I asked how discussing assault, glamorises it. You've still not answered. It's not glamorous to relive it. I don't think you understand what the word glamorise means... and on top of that you're not being asked to relive it or tell anyone your story. Some people are merely using the #metoo hashtag. Nothing more.
To glamorize means to make something seem glamourous or desirable, especially spuriously so (straight from the dictionary). Spuriously means wrongfully, if you didn't know. So what I'm saying is that by using the hashtag #metoo you are indirectly saying that being a victim/survivor is something desirable because it entices attention and sympathy. I disagree with bringing attention to my sexual assualt on social media because I don't think it's something to share with people who don't really know me, it does absolutely nothing, except make it seem that I am looking for attention or sympathy because I know that random strangers will have nothing valuable to add for my specific situation. Even if someone merely uses the hashtag, you are still implying the same thing because there is a meaning behind that campaign, and the meaning is the same as what I've described above. Read the article and maybe you'd see what I mean.
You're absolutely ridiculous if you think a hashtag makes people want to be the victim of rape or sexual assault. You're absolutely mind boggling, if you legitimately think this is the case. I've read the article. Don't patronise me, you're literally looking for any flaw you can and to twist it into whatever suits you. Nobody envys you, or me. Why would they? What a farce.
Ooh ad hominem's because you can't form an argument without resorting to insults 🙄 People like me. Who are people like me? Not people who hide behind a computer screen and insult people who have a different opinion than them. Nobody envies you. Nobody thinks your sexual assault was glamorous. Not talking about it yourself is fine but don't silence other women. You're part of the problem, not the solution.
I'd insult you to your face if I could 😂 Once again, you didn't even bother to read what I was ACTUALLY saying, not just spewing nonsense of what you think I said. I by no means said other women should be silenced, hell I didn't even say that I wanted to be silent! The only thing I am speaking to is that we shouldn't be talking about what happened in order to receive sympathy, we should be talking about what happened (not in gory details) and proposing solutions, none of which I have heard from you.
But once again you'd ruin your own argument. "If they attack one personally, it means they have not a single argument left".This isn't about receiving sympathy! Where has it been shown to be about that? And you're the one who should be proposing things. You made a claim in your original comment, there is no obligation by me, to prove that a claim is wrong, the claimant needs to prove that the claim right because they are the one making claims. You need to propose things. All you've done is nay say.
Very well said!
I agree with you and disagree. I think learning to protect yourself is an awesome idea, but I also think sharing that it happens and bringing awareness to the public helps as well. If a little human never hears a story about this happening, why would they ever learn to protect themselves? If other women and men in your life don't realize how often this can happen, what would their motivation be to make it stop, or help prevent it if they see it, or get help if it happens to them?
Fair point. But the campaigns of self defence can involve sharing stories and experiences, where they teach them what they learned from their experience.
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I have to disagree. It's about raising awareness. Scientific papers won't do anything unless people are actually reading them. Guess what... they don't do that lol. Science is great, I love it with all my heart. But it only has so much power. I don't see how raising awareness for a problem is meaningless. We raise awareness for things ALL THE TIME. I mean businesses "raise awareness" for their products through advertising. Awareness, education, it's hella important.
@Arbalest ohh c'mon. Raise awareness for what? the secret that everyone in north America knows about except Harvey weinsteins political donation recipients. Its ridiculous really. If it makes them feel better then ehhh whatever. These people have known about it for decades and now they're gonna fix it with a tweet storm. It's shallow and meaningless.
If you ask a lot of guys on here, sexual assault isn't a problem. Women don't have problems to them. Just look at the upvotes your comment got. These guys love to downplay any negative things coming womens way. It's all about society. You may not believe it but people may "know" things, then there is understanding things from a real perspective. This twitter shit gives a lot of perspective when you see the amount of women re tweeting or w/e it is. People get to see first hand how many women suffer abuse. That's not worthless and it boggles me how you could believe so. The men? Yea that's not surprising that they don't believe it. Admitting it's true means admitting feminism might have some points and we can't have that! lol. A woman who agrees with them is like a true goddess lol.
@izum i agree with you
@Izumblu yeah, I agree. When I was shown some data about online harassment, far more females have said they'd already stalked a male online, than males said they'd have been stalked by a female online. I mean, I either "stalk" people who don't even know by seeing their accounts recommended as friends on facebook, OR this "stalking" question rather sounded like "do you have facebook", you know, like a trend question. I don't consider viewing people's profiles, whilst you can't even see who actually viewed your profile (like you wouldn't observe who passes by your house) as a legal form of "stalking".
@Izumiblu well, how about fixing the fucking bunch of questions on here, regarding females demanding far too much sex from males? Don't you think this is just as wrong, if males end up divorced because they "sadly didn't make up for their sexual hunger"? Do you see how disgusting this is?
I didn't know the name of the man that assaulted me. Not did he speak English.I don't remember that night due to being unconscious however, I know what happened to me thanks to a friend finding me.Pressing legal action was difficult for me because my story sounds fabricated.
Yes, I agree with Sadie. Often times reporting it is more difficult than it seems. My assault happened when I was 13 and I just wanted the whole thing to go away. I never said anything about it and really do not want to say anything about it now, because so much time has past and there is no evidence.
Yes I agree with this! However, men are sharing the hashtag too. It has helped raise awareness for how widespread assaults are.
Those looks aren't rape, they are sexual assault. Rape is only one out of many forms of sexual assault
@VladDracula everydayfeminism.com/.../Not my rules... Haven't you heard? Only women can determine what is and is not rape. Try to keep up!
Never heard of this before. All that I have heard of is that people who haven't faced such things can't determine what is and what isn't assault. Women aren't the only ones who experience such things, although they are more likely to, unfortunately
Rape is defined as a penis or other object being forced into a unconsenting body hole.
@chloehatespeople forced or coercive penetration is also rape (as in, a male is forced to penetrate someone else).
You couldn't have broken up with him? you couldn't have pushed his hand away? Sorry but this on you. He turned you on and you both had sex with each other.
Did you ever say no when his hands were down your pants?
@Zendrya Yes. He was mentally and emotionally abusive.
@marcix670 I understand why you feel that way. I respect that. When you're being mentally abused though, you don't always think straight :/
very sorry to hear that :(
The campaign is about realizing just how normalized sexual assault/harassment is, and seeing just how many people it has affected. Even I was surprised over the amount of girls I know who shared the post. Not because I didn't think none of them have ever been harassed (I think it would be quite hard to find a girl who has never experienced it in any shape, way or form) but because sometimes you sort of forget how widespread it is in general.A male acquaintance actually messaged me and asked "what, you too, really?". I mean, so many people don't seem to understand just how often it happens and how many are affected. I just had to reply "yeah really, it happens all the time".
@lumos Okay. But again. What is the "campaign?" It seems like these days all anyone wants to do is "thoughts and prayers" or "raise awareness," neither of which actually DO anything. What needs to be done? What is the goal? So people are sharing their experiences... okay. You know where that's better to do and will actually have emotional impact on the people around you? Face to face, personal connection in actual conversation, not online. I think, though well-intentioned, a hashtag isn't going to actually do anything.
The campaign is about raising awareness, and campaigns like these ARE doing something. You might not notice physical changes because these are *mindsets* and *norms* we're talking about. Women, and men if they choose to, get the chance to open up about their experiences. Some people have walked around and kept these things to themselves, which has been sort of like a weight on their shoulders. Coming forward and telling people your story can therefore be very relieving. People who are ignorant might understand the magnitude of the issue when their friends, family members, acquaintances and co-workers are all stepping forward together to talk about their experiences. And already I've had so many face to face conversations about this with my family and friends. Using the internet as a tool for this campaign is merely giving it the boost it needs. Not to mention that for many people, it's hard to open up about their traumatic experience, so they'd rather write it down instead of vocalizin
It helps show how widespread assaults/rapes are.
@lumos I agree-- "talk." Posting online isn't talking. Maybe about 1% of the people posting about it will actually talk in private personal conversations and have a genuine human experience here. People simply *don't do that* with stuff they post online; they simple like all the "likes." Again, it isn't truly *accomplishing* anything if that is all we do. Getting people talking is great, don't get me wrong, but this isn't a new issue is what surprises me by it. I also think there's a dangerous correlation being made here between sexual *assault* and sexual *harassment*... they are both wrong, but they are NOT the same. Harassment can have a very broad definition, and anyone who has experienced both of them would be able to tell anyone else-- "Hey... these potential crimes are not equals, simply because they are both sexually-oriented and both wrong."
Then what the heck are we doing right now then if not talking/communicating? Lol don't underestimate the power of using the internet as a tool. Hadn't the #metoo campaign used social media to spread it wouldn't have even gotten close to as much coverage as it has now. And it's not just about talking, it's about planting a seed of thought in people's minds. We don't always need to talk to people face to face to get our point across. Even something as simple as people reading posts and comments can be enough for them to change their mind or to get a new perspective on things.I hope you never work in marketing, because you clearly don't understand how any of this works.
That's the shocking thing about the hashtag, that so many people have been assaulted. If there are people lying about it then that is just flat out disgusting, but overall I believe the numbers. Many of my closest friends have confided that they have been assaulted. I would say that MOST of my friends have been verbally harassed (wildly inappropriate things were said to them, not just innocent "hi's"). So no, the quantity of people coming out does not surprise me.
It seems that literally every single female is a metooer.
@Hwlsop Yes, still not surprised though. It is likely that some of them are made up, but that is not the fault of the #metoo campaign. I suspect that most of them are not made up; though, just based off of personal experience. But at the end of the day, even if they were all made up, the campaign has already done a lot of good just by starting conversations like this one.
sorry, checked some of the other opinions and saw people saying it's for men too. I hadn't heard anything about the campaign before I read this question and just read the beginning of the article that was linked and by the way it was presented it seemed very much like a campaign for womenquoting: So what is the #MeToo hashtag?At the moment, it's trending on Twitter and being shared widely on Facebook.On Facebook, women are being asked to copy and paste this status to highlight how prevalent sexual abuse against *woman* is in society.While there's a few variations, the post reads:"Me too... If all the *women* who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote 'Me too' as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. Please copy/paste."On Twitter, many *women* have used their tweets to detail horrifying accounts of sexual harassment and assaults.
Nobody is stopping you from creating your own campaign that raises awareness about the issue you're facing in your daily life. Women opening up about their experiences is not taking anything away from you.
That's not at all what I said
"I think putting the focus on women just further strengthens sexism by creating the stereotype that it's always women being sexually harassed"You're implying that by women opening up, men are losing the opportunity to speak up and be taken seriously, which is not the case at all.
@lumos why can't men share the #metoo campaign?Why do we have to create our very own campaign segregated from women?What happened to equality for men and women? You sexist pig...
@thinkaloudtolive metoo ended up being a shared campaign, I saw many posts from men opening up about their stories on twitter and facebook. I'm just sick and tired of lazy ass men sitting on their asses complaining whenever women organize something like this for themselves (and this time it even extended to male victims of sexual harassment and abuse). If you guys want campaigns for your issues so badly then you gotta start them. But all I see now is men keeping quiet until women organize something. Then all hell breaks loose because men are too lazy to do something themselves and are expecting women to do this type of shit for them. If y'all cared you wouldn't be whining on here, you'd be creating campaigns and donating money to charities who care about your issues.
@lumos That's stupid logic. So if women want to be involved in politics they should start their own country, instead of being lazy and join countries men started. And if women want to have leadership roles in corporations, they should start their own companies instead of joining companies men have started. That's your logic?
@thinkaloudtolive nope, not my logic at all. You can take your logical fallacies elsewhere though.
@lumos okay I see... so it only applies when it benefits men then. That pretty much sums up feminism.
@thinkaloudtolive uhhh no, it's just that your logic sucks ass and has nothing to do with what I said. Bringing up extreme hypothetical examples that make absolutely no sense whatsoever to try to disprove my argument is quite frankly pathetic.
@lumos it's the exact same argument. Yours: men should stop being lazy by joining causes that women start, and create their own. Mine: women should stop joining corporations that men start, and create their own. A "True" feminist, or champion of equal rights, would agree that all sexes should be able to join any cause, corporation, etc. somehow you can't seem to do that. I'm willing to bet you identify as a feminist?
@thinkaloudtolive no. Don't put words in my mouth. I never said that men should stop joining campaigns that women start - metoo worked pretty effectively for both men and women and like I said, I saw plenty of men sharing their stories. That's good. What I'm tired of, though, is men who won't take the initiative to start campaigns of their own (on top of the ones shared with women). Because they would rather complain about things not getting done, instead of actually doing them.Your examples were extreme and unnecessary. There's nothing realistic about creating new countries or creating thousands of new companies just so that women and men could work and function separately. However, it's perfectly realistic to expect that people who are pissed of about something create their own campaigns and protests instead of expecting someone else to get their shit done for them.
Direct quote from @lumos:"I'm just sick and tired of lazy ass men sitting on their asses complaining whenever women organize something like this for themselves (and this time it even extended to male victims of sexual harassment and abuse). If you guys want campaigns for your issues so badly then you gotta start them. But all I see now is men keeping quiet until women organize something. Then all hell breaks loose because men are too lazy to do something themselves and are expecting women to do this type of shit for them. If y'all cared you wouldn't be whining on here, you'd be creating campaigns and donating money to charities who care about your issues."Exactly what words did I put into your mouth?
@thinkaloudtolive I never said men are lazy for joining campaigns such as metoo. I’ve made it perfectly clear several times that that’s a good thing. What I’m tired of is lazy men whining about nobody creating campaigns for them when they themselves are perfectly capable of doing it.
It's clear what you said...And Where are the men complaining about no one creating campaigns for them? Men have created nearly everything in this world, I think we're capable of throwing together a campaign or too. Men are like ants under a magnifying glass being forced to always be inclusive. While women, like you, are free to embrace separation and "womanhood." The double standard is laughable.
If you are saying something wildly inappropriate to girls then that constitutes harassment. If you are just saying something innocent like that she looks beautiful then that is fine. I fear that a lot of girls hear actual complements and consider that harassment.
Yes, I agree with your statement. However, there is room for interpretation. There are some things a man could say to a woman (or vice versa) in a nightclub which would be considered a bold move, but not unacceptable. The same statement made in a school or workplace could be wildly inappropriate. Some people don't understand that the setting makes a difference as to what is appropriate.
I would like to add that there are some things that are never appropriate to say regardless of the setting.
One more thing. (Sorry, I didn't expect this to go on for so long). Even an innocent statement like "you're beautiful" could be considered sexual harassment if the person receiving the compliment has previously told the person giving the compliment that they don't want that kind of attention. Basically, a pattern of unwanted or unwelcome attention could be considered sexual harassment (even if it seems innocent to an outside observer).
Yep I agree. You have to take the location into consideration as well.