#LoveYourself
VALENTINE'S DAY

Should I send Roses to my ex-wife for Valentines Day? No, ulterior motive, out of respect for nearly 21 years of marriage & three brilliant children?

Should I send Roses to my ex-wife for Valentines Day? No, ulterior motive, out of respect for nearly 21 years of marriage & three brilliant children?

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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • I would, but make sure in the card you talk about what it is. Have them delivered with a gift letter. Talk about how proud of the children you are and how much you respect her for having such a part in their lives, and for staying with you for 21 years. Tell her exactly what you feel, if there are no ulterior motives that's something anyone reasonable should be able to read in such a letter, even a new SO.
    I would accept that personally, if he put it out there in writing.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Girls Said 21

  • Send a fragrant mixed bouquet, especially one with freesia. More friendly, less romantic.

    But, I my ex had sent me flowers on Valentine's day after we broke up, I would not have appreciated it in the least.

    Personally, if I were you, save it for mother's day if you feel you must.

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  • If you do decide to send them don’t send red. Pink or maybe peach is the best color for these situations.
    http://www.passiongrowers.com/web/ot/colors.asp

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    • i thought a mosaic of all colours. Even a pure black one

      I know roses inside out. Seeing we grew them :)

    • Nice!!! That’s a really sweet aspect of the gift!

  • I think roses are too romantic and will give her the wrong idea about your intentions. Maybe something less romantic like a teddy bear or a chocolate or a box of her favourite gourmet cookies or a slice of cake.

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  • Risky. She might get hopeful she has an admirer. Chocolates would be better because at least then they won't be wasted. Imagine having her girl friends round "ooooh who got you the flowers?" "my ex-husband" Eeeeer. Dunno.

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  • Flowers have meaning. Roses come on too strong and it has romantic overtones. Maybe some sunflowers or something friendly and light will be better. With a nice card

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  • Yes! This is very nice. I think it is important that even after divorce, that a good friendship should follow.

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  • Send her the roses :) It's nice. She will appreciate it. And it will help the relationship down the road in the changing times.

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  • Are you guys still talking? Are you guys friendly? Is she with someone else now?

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    • good questions, but, to me irrelevant for it is all about the sign of respect

    • respect yes that she is the mother of your children. But if she is with someone now, then it's a sign of disrespect towards her new beau. Unless you all get along then good for you.

    • i do not know if she is, doubtful

      even if she was, she would see it for what it is

  • It's a nice idea but she might take it the wrong way

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  • Nope , especially not if she is married or has someone else in her life

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  • Nice.

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  • That’d be a nice gesture.

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  • Yes, send the white roses

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  • It's a nice idea.

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  • Yes that would be so cute !!!

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  • Is she even thinking about sending you anything?

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    • You know not sending anything, does not mean you don't appreciate what you two had. You don't have to prove anything. And as I said I doubt she'll send you something.

    • I dont know. I just thought it nice. I am very impulsive in doing things

    • Not trying to prove anything. Just thought it was a nice gesture

  • If it was my ex I honestly wouldn't want you to.

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  • Such a gentleman

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  • Yes, you should, if you want to.

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  • No send then to me baby

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What Guys Said 11

  • YIKES
    One rose w/card would make the same positive impressions w/o raising eyebrows on her end = ulterior motives, even booty call

    Better would be something precious from the past memories that spoke to these appreciations, even if a photo or charm

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  • It doesn't have to be creepy. Clearly, you both have moved on with your lives, what's the harm in it?

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  • Would u like a present from her? If yes. Do it.

    And regardless, even if the answer is no but you feel u should, just do it.

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  • sure. i guess if you subscribe to the notion that the different colors have different meanings you don't send red roses but yea i think it's a great gesture

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  • Will she understand your motivation?

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    • sure, because there is no motivation. just a random gesture of respect

    • Yes, but the question is not what is your motivation. The question is: what will she think when she receives the flowers. I ask because, if I sent flowers to my ex-gf, she would probably think that I was making an effort to try to reignite our relationship.

    • She will just think, I am being random. I rarely do something out of motivation with people. It is a respected quality as well as a noted flaw

  • sure that's sweet

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  • Is she seeing someone else?

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    • no, i do not think so. even if she was, she would appreciate the gesture. if the gut took offence, she would explain it as an innocent gesture. which it is

  • Sure. Just not red ones

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    • i think a mix of all colours

    • A mix of all colors just means you're hiding the true purpose. You'd send only reds if you could but you don't want her complaining back so you try to hide them with other colors to not have her say anything.

    • @Kenni I think a mix to show all the colours of our feeling. Everything we shared

  • I guess it would depend on your relationship

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    • not really. respect is always welcomed, regardless

    • Keep in mind that not everyone thinks like you. She might not think about you respecting her in the 1st place.
      And so won't many people who get roses from their ex

    • @Kenni You have chatted with me enough to KNOW. NOONE thinks like me, my dear friend

      I am very odd ;)

  • I would

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  • Go for it I did for my ex b day

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